#besides the obvious I quite like his design...well. mostly the hair
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portalmonsterrr · 4 months ago
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you know what, fuck you *untwinkifies your sethos*
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1moreff-creator · 1 year ago
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DRDT + Milgram AU: Undercover (Introduction)
Finally succumbed to the Urges and came up with ideas for a full Danganronpa Despair Time - Milgram AU, and now I feel like sharing. This means giving each character a MV + VD concept (not a full VD though I ain’t writing that much dialogue, and not a full MV because who do you think I am), plus this Undercover post! I’m not sure if I’ll commit to this for a full three trials, or I’ll just drop it after just one, but I can guarantee I’ll do this trial in full. Feel free to make analysis posts (no pressure obvs), but also obvs don't expect this to be that good, I'm doing this for fun.
And if you come from the Milgram side, uh... have fun? I am curious about what people with no prior conceptions of these characters would think, but I do recommend DRDT if you haven't watched it (the overlap between the fandoms is non-trivial, I imagine you'll like it). If not, you should probably look up the character designs at least, but be wary that there will be DRDT spoilers.
As an obvious disclaimer just in case, I am not affiliated with either DRDT or Milgram in any way, this is just a fanmade AU done entirely for fun.
Basic Concept
Pretty simple. What if the 16 students of DRDT were prisoners in Milgram? This means they're all "murderers" by some loose definition of the word, implying most of their backstories must be changed to acommodate for that. For the prisoner pairs, I just paired them based on the Chapter 1 recap. The rest is pretty self-explanatory provided you know how Milgram works; three trials, vote Forgiven/Unforgiven, etc. I won't repeat it all here. You can go to the official Milgram YT channel for more information if you're not familiar.
Meet Es
Although they are of unspecified adult age, this universe’s Es is very similar to canon Es from the main series, at least in appearance. The only differences are red highlights in their hair, as well as sharp yellow eyes and taller height. They also wear arm sleeves on both their arms, being particularly adverse to people touching the left one, and their voice is slightly higher pitch. As for their personality… well, you’ll have to wait for the VDs, right? But as a heads up, they’re quite a bit nicer than canon Es, though they can still get pretty strict with the prisoners. 
(Can you tell who they’re connected to yet?)
Their uniform is the same as canon, including the band thing which in Milgram runes reads “reciffO eciloP”. The only difference is that their other band thing is longer and has the following runes:
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(As a heads up, since there's no rune for 'q' I just used the rune for 'c/k' in its place. You probably don't need to translate it all to know what this says if you're familiar with DRDT lore)
Jackalope is replaced by DRDT canon MonoTV, no big changes to its personality. It still breaks the fourth wall and talks to an audience,which is odd for the prisoners (and Es) seeing as there is no audience in-universe (at least, that's what it claims). 
*Es’ VD is mostly the same, besides changes in dialogue caused by the difference in personalities. The only real difference is that there is no ‘extra cell.’
*Cover is still Hibana. 
Alright, let's get to the fun stuff.
Undercover
(It is highly recommended you know what the canon Undercover looks like before reading this, since a lot of it is pretty similar)
The opening is still the same minus Es' different appearance and MonoTV replacing Jackalope, and only starts changing when the prisoners begin showing up.
(Don’t- Don’t expect this to actually work as a song btw. I’m not insane enough to make that work)
UNDER Split in between decisions, my conscious is made up of torn stitches
Levi (01) holds a mostly neutral expression as he holds up his prisoner card, which displays his face alongside an image of an alleyway. His pose keeps changing slightly in smash cuts. Levi’s face darkens right before there’s a switch to the next prisoner.
(Note: I won’t mention the pose switching and the face on the card all the time, since that’s part of canon Undercover. Just assume it always repeats)
UNDER The beauty in simplicity, wilting with rising complexities
Arturo (02) has his chin up arrogantly at first, showing a prisoner card with a picture of a bathroom. He scoffs and turns around before the switch. 
UNDER A liar? No, that’s wrong! My honesty shines like a star in the night
David (03) (speaker persona) smiles nervously, rubbing at his cheek with a finger. His card shows a bedroom. He covers his face with his free hand, sighing before the switch.
UNDER A sinner? No, you’re kidding! I’m innocent as can be, just don’t mind the gaps
Whit (04) throws a cheeky grin to the camera, doing a finger gun with his free hand. His card shows a park. He nervously rubs the back of his neck before the switch.
(Note: Yes I gave him 04 because of the tetraphobia thing sue me-)
UNDER With a fury and a passion, unstoppable, show them your fangs
Ace (05) snarls at the camera. His card shows a city street. He throws it to the floor angrily before the switch. 
(Note: Sometimes I wasn't quite able to tie their talent to their murder, so it's either tangential to their story or has been replaced with something similar. I am mentioning this with Ace for... no reason in particular, sure, you'll believe that)
UNDER Your fears and anxieties, Respond to the stress, show me fight or flight
Nico (06) hides under the part of their cloak which looks like a scarf, peeking out nervously. Their card shows a locker room. They take a step back as the scene switches.
INSERT CHORUS HERE
UNDER Each existence is like no other, Lucky, unlucky, showtime reaches all
J (07) holds up her card with an unsatisfied expression. It shows a bridge surrounded by camera equipment. She rolls her eyes as the scene switches.
UNDER And yet, it’s all the same In the end, this wretched still life goes on
Rose (08) yawns as she holds up her card lazily. It shows a large dining room. The card slips from her hand as she falls asleep.
UNDER It’s too much, too much, I’m high strung, please forgive my sins
Hu (09) looks nervous, glancing around as if to find a place to hide. Her card shows a zither in a non-descript room. She drops her card, and closes her eyes with a pained expression, a hand on her chest. 
UNDER Please do condemn me, Bloodletting, the horror inside us is what makes me feel.
Veronika (10) spins and gives the camera a bright smile as she pulls out her card. It shows a rooftop. She throws the card in the air dramatically, laughing as it spins around and falls beside her. Her eyes fall back on the camera, and she smirks menacingly. 
UNDER  Unopposable, incontestable Merry kings, life’s queens, for me they bow down.
Arei (11) is sticking out her tongue and looking to the side dismissively. Her card shows a bowling alley. She laughs into her hand before the scene switch.
UNDER My weakness haunts me, Alarm bells are ringing, there's no going back.
Eden (12) fidgets with her hands, shaking nervously. She hides her face behind her card as she shows it, but her teary eyes are still visible over it. The card shows a bedroom full of clocks. She cries into her hands before the switch. 
INSERT CHORUS HERE
[The music winds down, a bridge of sorts. As it plays, a few scenes are shown, where only the characters’ silhouettes are visible, white noise covering them]
[01: A steaming kettle covers most of the foreground. In the background, Levi is seen sitting at a table, head slumped forward. Most of the table is visible, but no one else is in the frame]
[02: Arturo is seen to the left, holding a white turtle neck shirt in his hands. Behind him, an open suitcase sits on a bed, clothes splayed haphazardly around it]
[03: David stands alone on an empty stage, arms wide out. The spotlights are all on him. The entire stage and some of the front row seats are visible, with David’s silhouette only covering a small part in the center of the frame]
[04: A computer monitor covers almost the entire frame. There are countless photos and words, but they’re all too blurry to see, with the exception of a small message on top which reads “Analyzing profiles…” Whit is reflected on the screen, resting his head on one of his fists]
[05: Ace sits on a motorcycle, looking up and admiring the night sky which takes up most of the frame]
[06: Nico is crouched beside a cat, holding out a pink mouse toy for it to play with. Only their legs are visible, but there is a puddle of water under Nico]
[07: J has her palm spread out all over the screen, as if blocking the camera. There are flashes of light behind her, but the source is impossible to see]
[08: Rose sits slumped in a chair, hands on her face. All around her, dozens of canvases can be seen, painted entirely in black. Small bits of color poke out at the bottom, but no full paintings are visible]
[09: The camera is entirely focused on the top of a zither. Hu’s hand is visible, touching the strings with her plectra]
[10: Only Veronika’s footwear is visible over a dark floor. The rest of the scene is filled entirely by blood]
[11: Arei stands in front of a bathroom mirror. She’s holding the right side of her hair, the only part that’s visible. It looks very unevenly cut]
[12: Eden is holding her head in her hands, slumped over a work desk full of small machinery. Behind her are a multitude of analog clocks of various designs, all showing the same time; 6:00]
[13: Min is sitting on a chair, slumped forward and apparently collapsed over a notebook. A pen sits just beside her right hand. A bit of the writing can be seen, showing this:]
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[The brown part being Min's hair. Don't make fun of me I'm using Paint and have zero art skills]
[14: Xander, the focus of the shot, stands in front of a crowd, standing on a simple chair. His fist is in the air, and so are the fists of everyone in the crowd]
[15: Charles is kneeling over a grave, the name on it hidden behind the silhouette. Charles is pulling at his hair with his hands. Other graves are visible around him, but the edges of the screen are darkened and it’s impossible to see them well]
[16: Teruko’s hand is reaching out to a black figure, this one without white noise. The figure is completely non-descript, more a simple shadow than a proper silhouette. Blinding white light surrounds this figure] 
UNDER No mistakes, no corrections, 100% Perfection, results shall not vary. 
Min (13) wears a neutral expression, and she holds her card perfectly upright. Her pose changes only to match the exact angles actual mugshots use. Her card shows an untidy bedroom. Before the switch, she lowers her hand, and looks briefly to the side, before turning back to the camera. When she does, her left eye flashes magenta behind her hair. 
UNDER Fighting for true justice, Stand strong, a reflection of the will of the many
Xander (14) is glaring at the camera, moving his card around flippantly. Said card shows a window overlooking an entire city. Xander throws the card away before throwing a punch at the screen.
UNDER Leave no room to hide, No hesitation, a chain reaction of truth unfolds
Charles (15) looks serious, if a bit annoyed as he holds up his card. It shows a laboratory table with several test tubes. He turns his back to the camera, adjusting his goggles, but gives one last, softer look behind him as the scene switches. 
UNDER Or shall the secrets remain? What lies beyond the lies, armageddon untold
Teruko (16) looks at the camera with cold eyes, but a hint of a frown on her lips. Her pose never changes; unlike everyone else, her segment is one continuous shot. It starts with her holding her card at an angle such that only her face is visible on it. She closes her eyes solemnly, before finally flipping her card around so only the backside is shown. It has the Milgram logo combined with the DRDT logo. She never shows the rest of the front of the card, as the scene switches moments after. 
[Pre-chorus, as the prisoners hold their hands to their mouths before a scene of them smiling plays. At the end, for a few frames, a white camellia blooms, before there’s a sudden shift in scenery as we hit the final chorus. All the prisoners’ silhouettes have a still shot each with Es, with a blood splatter always under the latter. The scene starts to focus on each individually]
[Levi’s punching Es in the face, Es thrown to the floor from the impact. Brass knuckles are barely visible on his hand. Levi’s shouting, as are all the other prisoners]
[Arturo is kneeling, facing away from Es. The latter is laying on the floor behind him in what would be a pretty uncomfortable position. Arturo is holding his head in his hands, his mouth visible from the side and open in a shout. One of Es’ shoes is off]
[David is holding Es by the neck of their shirt, shouting at their face (from now on I’ll stop clarifying that they’re shouting). The following symbol appears over where his eyes would be, glowing yellow: 正] EDIT: I forgot to mention one of Es’ shoes is off. RIP to the theorists I’m so sorry-
[Whit is pointing what looks to be a gun at Es, who is recoiling as if they’ve been shot in the heart]
[Ace is seen running, Es’ body falling to the ground beside him and twisting as if they’d been bumped into]
[Nico sits on top of Es’ back. With one of their hands, they’re grabbing onto Es’ hair and apparently pushing it forward. With the other they’re holding two ends of a wire firmly planted on Es’ neck]
[J stands normally, pointing what seems to be a remote control at Es. The latter is face-up on the floor, their limbs contorted in unnatural angles]
[Rose is standing, facing away from Es, who is kneeling and grabbing at their throat. A small jar sits beside them, the cap taken off]
[While standing, Hu is grabbing Es by the throat with both hands, blood coming from the Warden’s throat]
[Veronika is kneeling besides Es’ face-up body. Her hands are on her chest, and there is blood under her as well as the Warden. Meanwhile, Es’ limbs are contorted in unnatural ways, and one of their shoes is off]
[Arei is violently swinging a bowling ball at Es’ head, causing their body to twist around as it falls]
[Eden is standing, covering her eyes. Her right hand has a Ⅵ symbol glowing bright yellow. Es is uncomfortably laying face-up on the floor]
[Min is standing with her back turned to Es, who is kneeling on the floor and grasping at their neck. Min is shouting into a landline phone. Along her arm, an equation glows bright yellow:
ln(x³ - 2 . 13) = 0]
[Xander is grabbing Es’ shoulder, plunging a knife into their stomach]
[Es is standing neutrally, but there is still blood on the floor. A glowing yellow question mark floats above them. Charles is nowhere to be seen]
[Teruko is kneeling calmly besides Es, who is lying face-up with their hands crossed over their chest as if in a coffin. A question mark glows on Teruko's left hand. Teruko is the only prisoner besides Charles who is not screaming]
[The song winds down while a sped up and translucent version of the video plays in the background. A shadow begins growing in the middle, and for just a moment, two sharp yellow eyes stare at the camera from the center of the screen. The finale simply has Es exiting to the left as they do in canon Undercover]
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And there's Undercover! How we feeling? Hope you enjoyed! Take care!
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slothgiirl · 3 years ago
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the spy part 1(keith x reader)
8k. explicit content. while on medical leave reader meets the red paladin of voltron during the war against Zarkon.
The corridors are well lit. It’s like being in a brand new hospital, this ship in the rebel fleet. 
People hustle around, landing, taking off in smaller ships to distant planets. Your hand goes to your arm. The medic had given you a movement’s leave, so you were resting for now on this ever moving ship. 
Outside the widows, you spy an assortment of ships, each one’s origins clear from the design. So many planets, so many peoples banding together against Zarkon. You’d win the war. 
It was what you kept telling yourself. 
You would. 
It was just a matter of time.
You round the corner, stretching your arm across your chest, a simple form of physical therapy in deep space. You hadn’t seen earth since being deployed. The galaxy garrison seemed like a dream from another life. You had been on track for the chemistry department, long term missions to mars to analyze soil and dust, not this, not a war. You take a breath. 
And spot the Red Paladin. 
He’s one of the most recognizable people in the universe, and his grungy hair and distinctive outfit does him no favors. You’d never seen him before, not in the flesh. Sure. Voltron had saved your ass a handful of times. You wouldn’t have survived the assault on Arrakis if Voltron hadn’t rammed the shield. Trapped. Piloting a fighter craft that was closer to a mosquito irritating the Galra then pushing them back.
But you hardly knew him.
He’s gripping the railing tightly, trying to camouflage into the wall as an alien with crystalline blue skin and hair like saturated indigo leans into him. 
The line of his shoulders is taut, brittle. 
You don’t even think. 
“There you are,” you force yourself to be synthetically cheerful as you smile easily at the paladin, who you realize quickly you don’t know his name but you know what he is and that must be an awful feeling, being so recognizable without being known. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” you lied, elbowing the blue alien out of the way. You could never tell much from a single glance at themis species despite their largely humanoid appearance. 
You put your hand on his arm loosely, “come on, we’re late enough and you know how annoyed the others get.” Good, that seemed convincing enough. 
The red paladin’s eyes go wide, his mouth a grimace and it’s then that you notice the feverish flush to his skin. 
But he doesn’t pull away or argue. 
You ignore the alien and decide small talk was the way to go until you put some distance, “I’m kind of hurt you didn’t come visit me while I was healing,” you stick close to the truth, “but since it only took an hour? a varga? for me to heal I won’t hold it against you.” He’s too warm.
Maybe the space flu?
Was that even a thing?
You weren't sure. 
Mostly, you snuck into work camps and blew up strategic targets using whatever you could get your hands on to make a bomb. The chemistry came in handy. 
He sways as he walks, looking like your roommate at the garrison after a few too many hits after an exam. “Do I know you?”
You flush, embarrassed. “Sorry, I just,” you look back, but the alien’s been left a couple turns back, “you looked uncomfortable.” You take a step back, letting go of him. “Are you okay?” 
His expression furrows, mouth a pinched line as he goes from suspicious to annoyed, takes a u-turn back to suspicious as he studies you, before relaxing. “Yeah. yeah. . .who are you?”
You introduce yourself, taking on the meaningless garrison designation at the end, “technically second year member, though I’ve been with the runners mostly.” No designation more than a number. 
“You do look human,” he replies simply, moving to get a look at your ears, “not many of those out here.”
“And yet somehow the sentries always look the other way,” you muse, “not very bright. I’m almost convinced the Empire’s in it’s failing bureaucracy days.” 
He winces, before deadpanning, “eh, I don’t know how useful a lion is against the DMV.” 
You laugh. 
He takes slow deliberate breaths, steadying himself, “I’m Keith.”
“Seriously though, do you need to see a medic?” He looked in serious need of a tylenol. The ships were usually crisp, you wore a jacket most of the time to stave off the permanent chill. 
Keith shakes his head, chewing his lip before meeting your gaze with an intense concentration in his violet eyes, as if he was gauging how much titrant he could add before hitting the endpoint and if half a drop was worth the risk. “I’m just. . .going through something.”
“Anyone I can call for you?” You weren't about to abandon him here. Sure, he was a paladin and could probably look after himself. But you couldn’t in good conscience walk away. 
He swallows, looking down for a moment and you are startled to find how much you miss his attention boring into you with the loveliest eyes you’d ever seen. 
“No,” Keith replies mulishly as he jerks away from you. “I’m fine.”
Which was a total lie. It was obvious he wasn’t feeling well but you weren’t about to get on his case. You were sure he had people for that. He wasn’t some random soldier in arms with you that you watched out for and hoped not to have to watch die. 
You swallow the bitter thought away, crossing your arms over your chest.
Leaning back against the hall, you watch evenly as Keith stumbles, catching himself on the wall. His mouth is a drawn line of determination. 
You didn’t understand why. 
There was aid here. It wasn’t the same as crawling through cramped mining tunnels and swallowing back pain forcing yourself to work through it until the mission was accomplished. 
“Do you need help,” you ask.
“No.” He leans a hand against the wall.
You raise a brow, wondering if he would pass out for whatever weird space flu he had clearly caught and you could only hope it was nothing like the infections that ran rampant in the work camps, or if he would give in and accept your offer of help. The former seemed more likely. 
You don’t ditch him though, focusing your attention on the porthole to the stars. 
There was no rush: no reason to help him by force. People didn’t learn if you babied them you’d caught on quick back on earth during your tutoring hours. You had to let them fall and smash their face in sometimes. 
So you stay, watching the stars.
Keith makes no move to take another step. 
It still got you, looking out into the vastness of space and realizing this really was your life now, you were out here, further than you’d ever dreamed. Everywhere you looked, novel stars, distant planets teaming with life. You could have done without the war, but it was what it was. 
“And here I thought Mars would be the furthest I’d go,” you comment more to yourself than Keith. 
The red paladin makes a small sound of acknowledgement. 
“Earth’s, or was, at the beginning of our space age. People had barely begun to live on the research bases on Mars,” you watch him out of the corner of your eye in case he really does pass out, “so no Star Trek for me but now I’m here.” 
“There’s a war going on.”
You turn over to look at him, sort of annoyed because yeah you got that, spent enough time in the trenches without a fancy lion spaceship, but the bubbling annoyance dissipates when you see the upturned corners of his mouth. Keith was teasing you. 
Shifting your weight, you add, “yeah well, instead of being a footnote in a Mars base’s history I’ll be a footnote in this war instead.” Gallows humor. You needed a lot of that when regularly infiltrating camps and posing as a slave, as a prisoner, the bottom of the barrel that wouldn’t get a second glance from the Galra soldiers. 
He frowns. “I don't think anyone’s just a footnote.”
“I was joking.”
“Oh.” Keith looks away.
You feel bad. “It’s probably better not to be so cynical,” you muse, “but it’s like the vice president thing, no one remembers them unless the president gets assassinated.” God you couldn’t help how dark your humor could veer even when trying to be positive. 
He looks over at you, head tilted, considering. Despite being standoffish, Keith was easy to read unlike the slick space pirates you’d encountered. 
You meet his gaze head on. 
“I might need some help,” he allows. 
You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting the smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth. “If you’re sure,” you utter, regarding him carefully and unable to keep the teasing from your voice. You shouldn’t. You barely knew him and what little you’d learned made it clear he wouldn’t take well to your teasing. 
War made quick brothers out of everyone. 
But Keith held himself afar.
A questioning glance danced in his uniquely violet eyes as he tried to get a read on you. “I am.” 
You nod, stepping besides him and wrapping an arm around his waist. You were always caught by surprise by how heavy a grown adult could be. And depending on the alien. . .
He takes a step, still holding himself afar from you, barely resting any weight on you. His muscles were stiff under your touch, back rigid that matched the uncomfortable look on his chiselled features. 
You follow his lead. 
At Keith’s sedate pace, it would take quite a while before you dropped him off where you needed to go. Being personable was part of being a leader or it’d lead to mutiny. Not that you had ever gotten that far. The Galaxy Garrison had slapped the graduation badge on your uniform and sent you into space. 
You scrabble for familiar territory, earth and the garrison. The Black Paladin was a Garrison member returned from the grave. Rumor had it all the paladins were garrison deserters. 
Veronica McCain did share a familiar resemblance with the blue paladin. It was probably true. 
“I attended the Garrison campus at Guiana,” you offer. “I was hoping for Texas or Florida to be closer to home, but I didn’t test into pilot or engineer.” 
Keith makes a sound in the back of his throat. 
Even through the fabric of his uniform, he felt warm. How anybody could be warm in such cold halls was anybody’s guess. A permanent chill had sunk its way into your bones. You missed the humid heat of Guiana. 
“It was nice though. The jungle was pretty close and it was always hot,” you tell him. “I thought I wouldn’t miss the humidity, step outside and it was like having just showered but I do. These ships have to be at 15 C.” 
“Texas is hot too.” Keith utters quietly. 
“Isn’t the desert cold at night though,” you ask, already knowing the answer. It had been basic earth science. 
“Yeah. It is.” There’s longing in his voice. You wish he’d say more just to hear him speak. 
Warmth spreads, an embarrassing tell, through your cheeks. 
“I did miss the snow while there,” you continue, “it didn’t snow much up in Vancouver but it was never as hot as Guiana, and the rain was warm!” You had never gotten over that. The rain would spot and start throughout the day but the sun would keep on shining. 
“What were you,” Keith asks bluntly.
“Chemisist, more the physical and inorganic type,” you admit, “it was fun doing wet labs.” That had gotten you hooked back in regular school. “Then got shunted to command track after a few too many volunteering opportunities. Guess the lesson there’s to not try too hard.”
That gets a laugh out of him. 
“You,” you ask him as he shifts more of his weight onto you, finally accepting the help he asked for. Stubborn guy. 
“Pilot.”
You look over at him, his wild hair brushing against your cheek and the simple action shouldn’t excite you but it does. He was hot with sharp features offset by a certain enthralling earnestness but he could run a comb through his hair.
Keith didn’t seem the pilot type: arrogant, loud, generally strong personalities. 
“You any good,” you ask though you’ve heard about Voltron so he has to be pretty fucking good to be part of them. How did Voltron choose its pilots?
He smirks easily, close to a smile at the mere mention of piloting and you knew that moment he loved it: didn’t matter if he was good at it or not. You swallow hard as anticipation buzzes under your skin for no good reason. 
Get your head out of the gutter, you tell yourself. 
“I’m a pretty good pilot,” Keith answers, somehow managing to sound like he’s stating a fact instead of bragging. 
“Just pretty good?” You smile at him, letting him know you were only joking around as you both round another corner, finally making it to the transient quarters. People were always dropping in and out of mobile spaceports like these. 
He snorts. “Better than most.” Keith shrugs, smiling over at you. 
“Don’t be modest on my account,” you utter, looking away, not sure what to do about the growing heat in your body that had nothing to do with temperature controls. 
“It’s true,” he says simply. 
Honesty was a hard thing to come by. You were finding more and more reasons to like the red paladin as you reach his current room. No special treatment here. 
Or maybe it was politics and optics, making sure everyone knew Voltron was of the people and not aiming to replace Zarkon as rulers of the universe. 
Keith places a hand against the door, putting space between you both.
You swallow, glancing away, feeling some of the tension ease. 
“You sure you don’t want me to send a medic,” you ask him, looking over at his striking eyes. The heat under your skin is a live wire: you curl your toes in your shoes. People usually didn’t affect you this much. Even the smell of him was so distinct, drawing you in. 
It was an unprecedented reaction. 
He must feel it too. 
Keith studies you with an enraptured fascination shining in his wide eyes, mouth parted on the verge of answering. Both your bodies sway towards each other like branches in the wind: sunflowers orienting towards the sun. 
You shift your weight from one foot to another. 
It relieves enough tension for you to shift away. 
“No. No medic,” Keith finally answers. 
“Right then.” But you don’t make a move to leave. 
He says nothing. 
The silence is broken by the hum of the ship's engines under your feet. People move about and you can hear their footsteps echoing on the metal floors. 
Supposedly quintessence powered ships smelled like ozone. 
This one was powered by crystals and some Olkari engine. You wouldn't know the specifics, they were beyond you. And not your job. 
You look back at him, ready to leave. The space between you could so easily tilt to awkward and you weren’t sure what you were doing or why you found yourself so entranced by Keith. You barely knew him. You didn’t want to be one of the soldiers with a photograph in your pocket and a farflung hope that you’d-
He’s looking at you, cautious, movements slow and deliberate as if he’s caught between thinking and simply doing. 
Then Keith’s demeanour becomes determined: deciding to take the leap without looking down. He cups your cheeks in his hands and kisses you.
For a second you’re baffled, trying to figure out how you got to point B when this wasn’t a bar and you had no agenda, before you shrug and kiss him back. Keith was undeniably attractive. He was even a bit taller than you which was compelling, you were on the tall side for a girl. 
It’s not some unsolvable thought experiment, you kiss him back.
And a current of static electricity runs through your core. Heat pools after only just a kiss that steals your breath away. 
You can’t get enough, his hands warm against your skin, igniting a delicious sensation in your very core. You want more. You kiss him harder, your mouth against his, sucking on his bottom lip. 
Your hands clutch at the fabric of his shift.
Keith kisses you back, matching your frenzied energy, his mouth parting against yours and pulling you flush against his chest. 
It does nothing to dissolve the tension, the charged energy between you spikes. Like a fire fed by wood it grew. 
It was a heady feeling, his hands caressing your cheeks as Keith kissed you with a vigor you thought only existed in soapy dramas. Heat pools in your belly like a sinking stone: you liked his intensity. 
Keith pulls away, catching his breath, resting his forehead against yours. 
Some of the muddled list clears from your head, now completely in the gutter as you press Keith against the door to his room. 
Oh. . .were you really doing this?
Keith looks a fuckable mess, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes. Still, he hesitates. 
You can feel the question linger in the air, can feel it in the featherlight touch of his hands ghosting over your cheeks as he makes to pull away, to let you go if you want to turn back now. But you don’t.
You want to run your hands through his hair. You’re practically burning up wondering how Keith would look splayed on the bed between your thighs. . .how he would feel. 
Would he be just as intense in bed as he fucked you? 
“You feel it too,” he asks quietly.
You furrow your brows, thrown. There were a lot of intense emotions coursing through you all narrowed down to feeling horny as a teenager back on earth. Masturbation only went so far. 
You swallow, trying to rack your brain cells together and say something. Yeah. It was a bit. . .much. Space much. But that didn’t make any sense. You hadn’t taken any drinks from strangers. 
The connection was too strong to discount the possibility of space weirdness affecting both of you. 
“Yeah,” you reply, sounding more whiny than you’d like to. The apex of your thighs throbbed with want. Anticipation had built up and he was right there; Keith
s breath fanned over you, his forehead against yours like a touchpoint. 
Your fingers were still curled into the fabric of his shirt. 
In the hall. 
Where anyone could see. 
“So what now,” you ask, “medic?”
Keith snorts, “No. I just-do you want to come inside?”
You smirk. Everyone knew what that meant. There were so many variations with the same outcome. 
“Yeah. Okay.” You put a pin in any alien space nonsense and slip inside Keith’s assigned quarters for however long Voltron was here for.
The lights are off. You don’t bother to study the room when Keith crushes his mouth against yours. You stumble around in the dark, feeling emboldened now that he’d voiced an invitation, he wanted this as much as you did, and run your hands up his chest. He was lean and lithe. Keith leans into your touch, a shiver running down his spine when you run your fingers through his hair and run your tongue over his bottom lip. 
Keith moans, the sound scratchy from the back of his throat excites you. 
It was thrilling to know you could elicit such a response from someone. You liked feeling hot and sexy. And from a guy like Keith who you were vibing with. . .
He finds the jagged hem of your cut tank top, which had doubled as a bandage, and slides his hands under your shirt. His fingers are calloused, skin hot against yours and there was always something so carnal about skin on skin touch. Keith clutches at your sides and leads you backwards. 
You trust that he knows the layout.
Your mind has boiled down to simple desires. 
“Keith,” you mumble against his mouth as he guides your hips against his and you feel his cock beneath the fabric. It goes straight to your ego: straight to your pussy. 
More heat. It’s unbearable how much your body throbs and you moan against him, against his lips, your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling.
“Mhm,” he asks, just as overcome with lust as you were. Keith tilts his head up, and you kiss his jaw, kiss the side of his throat, nipping at the flesh and enjoying the breathy moans he makes as your knees hit the bed. 
You want more. 
You move your hands to his shoulders, “let's get this off,” you utter softly, pushing at his jacket. 
“Okay,” he replies, crowding you against his bed until you have no choice but to sit down. Keith discards his jacket, and pulls his shirt over his head. 
Your breath hitches in your throat. It’s dark. You can’t see him well. You still react like a charged electron. 
“Now you,” Keith states simply, not exactly a command. It was nice, the lack of mind games and subterfuge. 
You scoot up further on the bed, shrugging your bomber jacket off. 
He’s watching. 
Awkwardness creeps up on you. There was no sexy way to take off a sports bra. 
You pull your shirt over your head, tossing it aside carelessly. Then you peel off your sports bra. The elastic worked too well. 
Keith’s sitting up on his knees.
“You’re beautiful,” he states.
“Come here,” you utter, inviting him closer. 
He complies readily, cupping your cheek and kissing your mouth eagerly, closer to a lover than a random encounter. 
You grab his other hand, guiding him up to your chest, to your breast. Keith runs his thumb over your nipple, gooseflesh rises on your skin. He trails bruising kisses down your throat. 
Your breath catches in your throat. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you, savoring the feel of his chest against yours. 
“Fuck,” you groan as Keith bites down hard at the crook of your neck, harder than you’d expected. 
He stills. “I’m-I,” making to pull away.
“No,” you reach for him, tilting his head up as you move to straddle his waist, “it’s okay. I just didn’t expect it.”
“I won’t do it again,” he stammers out. 
“I didn't say I didn't like it.” You push him down against the bed, topping him. “Just warn a girl.”
Keith wraps his hands around your hips, tugging at the waistband of your trousers. “These are kind of in the way.”
Laughing, you reply, “could say the same to you.” Your hands pop the button of his jeans. 
It’s a fumble to pull your trousers down. Neither of you care, eager to get on with it. He shoves his jeans down his legs along with his boxers. 
You straddle Keith, completely naked and lean down to capture his lips against yours. His cock twitches against your thigh and your toes curl up. His tongue runs over your top lip, you part your mouth, letting him in. 
You cup his cheeks between your hands, your hips rolling against his. 
He thrusts feverishly against you. His fingers dig into your bare hips, skin against skin. 
“Come here,” Keith utters hoarsely, “I wanna fuck you.” 
“Think I’d rather ride you,” you reply back breathlessly.
“You can do that after,” he whines, a rumble emanating from his chest but your head is too fucked up to make sense of it. 
You sit up, hands on his chest. “That’s presumptuous of you.” 
Keith grins, wrapping his hands around your wrists, and rolls you over so he’s on top. “Is it,” he asks rhetorically as his hand reaches between your thighs, ghosting over the wetness of your pussy, “when you’re this wet?”
You moan, canting your hips, cashing the feel of his hand, wanting relief. It was a mounting pressure in your belly, a forest fire under your skin and you needed Keith. “Okay. yeah,” you nod, closing your eyes when Keith bent his head and licked a stripe from your nipple to your collarbone. You whimper, lost in the sensation. 
“Tell me what you want,” Keith asks. 
“Fuck me. Please fuck me,” you utter, you hands clutchinf at his shoulders, bringing him flush agaisnt you. 
Keith aquieses. 
You bend your knees, spreading your legs as he positions his cock. 
“Oh fuck,” Keith mutters as he pushes into you. 
Fuck indeed. You moan his name without thought, closing your eyes and laying your head back against the bed. His cock fills you up, sliding into your pussy with ease given how turned on you were. 
Your fingers dig into his shoulders as he stretches you out. 
“God, yes,” you utter dazed. 
Keith moves his hips. You roll your hips up to meet him. He nips at your collarbone as he thrusts into you with favour. 
As promised he fucks you.
Keith captures your mouth in a kiss that catches the moans you make as he reaches between you and runs his thumb over your clit. His pace, the way he was kissing you madly. . .the heat that had been building since you’d met him comes crashing down. 
You come. 
Leaving you boneless. 
“Keith,” you whimper.
“Sh,” he tells you, kissing the shell of your ear, “let me make you feel good.”
“You..sort of already did,” you utter completely fucked out. 
“Turn over.” Keith says even as he’s already helping you move, his arms supporting your weight. He presses his lips on the back of your neck, as he grabs a pillow and sets it under you. 
You bring up your knees, laying on your legs, “thought I was going to go next,” you tease, reaching up to card your fingers through his hair. 
He stills, “if you. . .”
“No. No,” you shrug, “I did ask you to fuck me.”
Keith runs his hands over your shoulders, sliding down your sides. He squeezes your ass with his hands. 
“Best two out of three,” you offer, half joking half serious because while you were still blissed out from having just orgasmed, you could already feel your pussy clench with anticipation. Seriously, the effect he had on you-
You can feel his smile against your skin, “If you think you can handle it.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” you reply, arching your back into him, titling your head back, and pulling his hair so you could kiss him. It was sloppy, and the angle was awkward, but none of it mattered when Keith stroked your pussy with his fingers, dipping into your wet folds. 
Already stimulated, you shudder with pleasure. 
Your tongue strokes his in an open mouthed kiss. He tastes as good as he smells, Keith filling up your senses like an incense stick wafting through a room. 
He wraps an arm around your chest, his hand caressing your breast, pulling you against his chest, both of you melding together. Keith thrusts his cock into you again. 
You squeeze your eyes shut, hand fisting the sheets of his bed, moaning into his mouth. 
It was a combination of his cock in you, his thumb rolling your nipple in his hand, that set you aflame. 
You couldn’t get enough, your hips jerking back, up to meet his. Keith fucks you against the bed. 
He palms your breast in his hand, pulling you up to him, keeping you close as he plants a kiss at the juncture of your ear and jaw, on the side of your neck whilst nipping the skin and you moan, his cock hitting just the right spot as he slams into you. 
First he grows comfortable, pulling almost entirely out before thrusting hard as he finds a pace that leaves you both a mess. 
“Right there, right there,” you utter. 
“Tell me how good I make you feel.”
He punctuates his words with a roll of his hips, his fingers draw a circle around your clit without giving you the satisfaction you desperately seek, already building up to another climax. 
You nod jerkily. “So fucking good Keith. Your cock feels so fucking good,” you manage to reply.
He speeds up, faster, deeper, at your words. The bedframe, bolted down into the floor, creaks. 
“Just like that.” You moan wantonly. “Right there.”
He responds to your words, pulling out to the head of his cock, teasing your entrance just so before slamming back in.
You shut your eyes and whimper, over sensitive to your very marrow. It was too much. Keith was trailing kisses down your spine, his breath warm, his cock twitching inside your filling every inch of your pussy up. 
With a shudder, you come, stars behind your eyelids and short circuiting. You never knew sex could be this amazing. Not in real life. 
You got what people meant about the right partner. 
The right sexual energy to match. 
You collapse, a puppet with its strings cut. Keith’s hand across your chest is the only thing keeping you from melding into the mattress like a blob. His hips thrust against your ass mindlessly, chasing his own climax.
With another couple of thrusts, his hips snapping against you, Keith moans your name and comes undone behind you. 
He comes inside you, hot and sticky.
His hand grasps the back of your neck, holding you in place as he comes inside you. It’s unexpectedly hot. You didn’t know you could like this in bed. 
You didn’t know how much you liked an obstinate expression with wide eyes until you met Keith. He had the type of soulful eyes you could drown in. 
He had drawn out something in you that you hadn’t even been aware of. 
Your thoughts center on him as he finishes inside you. 
“You take my dick so good,” he says with a surprising amount of softness for what amounts to a one night stand and a pang strikes your chest, wishing you had met him under better circumstances where there might be-
Keith gets off you, slumping next to you on the bed. 
There’s a thrum of satisfaction running through you as you look at his face in profile. The insane idea that you might just stay and cuddle plants itself. 
That was impossible.
It was time to cut and run.
Sure, he’d fucked you. But he was also still half a stranger. No matter how jumbled your thoughts were, you refused to give into the pull he had on you. 
You wanted to lay there with him. 
Keith blinks slowly, looking as blissed out as you feel, reaching out a hand towards you, but stopping himself halfway. 
You feel a little disappointed, but say nothing. It was just a one off thing you remind yourself, no matter how you felt. 
Now that you can think a little more clearly, though the sensation remains like a lump in your throat that starts there no matter how much you swallow, you glance around the dark room. Only the barest red lights on the floor illuminate enough to cast shadows. 
Keith’s own eyes reflect the light like a cat. Just a glimmer of traffic sign yellow. 
But you’re too tired to think, so you file it away in your head under the nebulous details you’ve learned about the red paladin.  
You blink, grimancing as Keith’s come runs down your thigh onto the sheets. At least they weren’t yours. 
He closes his eyes. 
“I’d say sorry about the mess,” you break the easy silence lulling you into staying there, “but it's your fault,” you tease way too familiarly. 
Keith sounds embarrassed when he utters, “sorry about that. I can get carried away.”
You smile softly, tracing over his shadowed form with your eyes but resisting the urge to reach out. That part was over. “It was good.”
“You did mention.” 
So he could joke. 
You giggle in the darkness that envelopes the room. You were good at being friendly and taking charge but you understood the hesitancy to open up to people you just met. 
Keith’s chest makes a rumbling sound akin to a cheetah purring. 
You try and hold onto the thought, sure it means something, but the sound draws you in and you lose the battle against yourself, curling up into his side. 
He takes this as the permission it is, and tangles his limbs with yours. 
A thrum of warmth surges where Keith’s skin touches you and you’re not sure if its his running warm or if it's all in your head or-
your eyes drift closed. 
He’s purring.
You know Keith would be embarrassed if you pointed it out. 
So you say nothing. 
Everything seemed so intangible anyhow. The world had been turned down a notch. The post orgasm glow remained unrivalled. 
Even a hit from a bong didn’t measure up. 
Your first time had been a real embarrassment (you hadn’t managed to get the boy’s cock in you), this was just a weird quirk of his, and it was soothing. 
You close your eyes. 
Keith’s breathing is deep and steady, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but don’t feel pressured to check. 
It was nice, not scurrying off, not being more than a little drunk. War was exhausting. Earth had only been in it for less than three years. No wonder some aliens were in such shit moods. 
You exhale. 
There’s no way to mark the passage of time. 
The bed shifts under you. Keith runs the back of his hand gently over your shoulder.
Your eyes flutter open.
“So would this be round two or three,” you ask lightly.
Keith smiles lightly, “you did say…”
“I did,” you laugh easily, blushing, the flush creeping from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. 
You swing a leg over his waist, straddling him, but not without feeling the start of a soreness in your legs. It doesn’t deter you. 
Keith lays back, watching you through his lashes as you sit up. He looks lovely. 
You lean down and kiss his mouth, reaching for his cock with your hands. He was already half hard when you wrap your hand around his shaft. 
His breath hitches in his throat as you move your hand. It’s been a moment since you’d jerk anyone, but it’s not rocket science. You press kisses down his throat, moving your hand firmly up and down his length until he’s completely hard. You nip at his collarbone, marking him the way he’d left bruising kiss all over you. 
His cock twitches in your hand, Keith’s hips thrusting up into you. 
Anticipation builds in your belly, but you want to set the pace, stay in charge. So you still your movements.
Keith whines under you, his hands holding your waist.
“Be a good boy for me,” you tell him. “Can you do that?”
“Mm.”
“Use your words.”
“Yeah,” he manages hoarsely, “I can be good.”
You smile, lining him up against your entrance. You shift your hips, teasing his cock against your wet folds, closing your eyes as you moan at the feeling. 
Keith thrusts up, trying to get more friction.
You still wanting to drag it out. Though your thighs ached and your pussy throbbed and you wondering if you should just-
You rub his cockhead against your pussy, “oooOH,” you moan. Your nails scratch his chest lightly, trying to steady yourself. Your heart raced, back arching down to him.
“Come here,” Keith groans, his fingers trailing up, asking for more, his hand on the small of your back. 
You give in, sinking down onto his cock. 
He moans your name, shutting his eyes. 
It’s pornographic, the way Keith rises up to meet you, hips bucking against yours, the expanse of his pale throat. 
You roll your hips slowly, fucking yourself on his cock. At this angle, the way he filled you- 
“Fuck,” Keith moans, “you feel so good.”
“I could say the same,” you reply, sliding against his hips, picking up speed. You hold yourself up, hand on his chest.
You suck in a breath as his cock thrusts into you. Static filled your head as you chased your pleasure, grinding against him. You tilt your head back, moaning his name, everything but Keith becoming background noise. 
He palms your breast.
Your breath hitches when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and finger.
“Ah,” you sigh. 
Your stomach was taunt. 
He doesn’t go further. You sort of wish he would. You trusted Keith not to hurt you. . .too badly. 
The idea excites you, as he wraps his hand around your throat. 
You match him, curling your fingers in his hair and pulling hard, “look at me,” you try and order but your voice is a whine. You’re too hot and heavy to think. 
His cock twitches inside you, filling you up and fuck it felt good to be streched out. 
Keith’s thumb strokes the side of your throat, his grip firm. “Do you like this,” he asks, his gaze heavy on you. He was entirely concentrated on you. It was like being worshipped. 
It sent a wave of pleasure coursing through your veins. 
“I wouldn’t mind if you got rougher,” you admit, finding it easy to trust him.
He looks away. 
You falter. Had you read things wrong? 
Keith bucks his hips up against you and you let the thought go, sinking onto his cock and groaning, “Keith…” 
It was easy to let go when it felt this good. His hand around your throat, fingers digging into your hips, you were sure there’d be bruises tomorrow. Not that anyone would be able to tell from over your uniform. 
A shudder runs down your spine, you squirm on his cock mindlessly, thinking about bruises in the shape of his hands, about the marks on your neck you could already feel blooming on your skin. Heat surges in your chest, something primal as your thoughts linger there. 
You nails run down his chest, leaving shallow scratches as you try and get a better hold, desperately grinding against Keith, down on the bed, his cock ramming into you. “Fuck,” you think, “fuck. . .Keith. . .”
You can’t stand it. 
The pressure in your stomach, the heat scorching your pussy, the sound of Keith’s whines and moans, your name tumbling out of his mouth like a hymn that raised your heart beat, blood pounding in your ears. 
Keith squeezes your neck, your throat bobs under his fingers and fuck-
You come. 
Your legs tremble, unable to support you any longer as you collapse, a quivering mess on Keith. His hands move down to grip your thighs, pulling you down flush against him, down to the hilt of his cock as he comes, moaning erotically. 
The thread of heat doesn’t dissipate entirely as you rest on his chest, boneless and sticky with sweat, but it relaxes and you breath the scent of him in instead of pulling away entirely. 
Keith strokes a hand down your spine, an afterthought, “that was. . .” 
“Yeah.” You’re exhausted. 
You close your eyes, listening to the inhuman rumble of Keith’s chest as it rises and falls with every breath you take. 
You end up slipping out. The halls are in the light cycle, but no one bothers you as you walk. 
Getting up the next morning is hell. 
Your legs are sore, and that’s not even mentioning how much your pussy hurts when you take a step. You take a dose of painkillers still remaining from your injury and check your messages. 
Nothing from earth. 
That was expected. 
The meager universal communications were taken up by the war effort. You still sent your family messages, even if it was just one way. It was a way to keep in touch. It felt like watching starlight and knowing it was millions of years old, a form of time travel. 
You shower. 
Keith’s come was a mess on the inside of your thighs and the thought is not as gross as it should be, your skin warming up, zapped by static. You run your fingers over your clit and fuck yourself in the shower thinking of the red paladin and his come.
You get out, brushing your hair out, not looking in the mirror at the purple hickies spread out like a constellation on your chest, and realize how weird you were being. 
Come was gross. 
You hated swallowing so you never did. The tentative relationships at the garrison had been short, you had all been teenagers, and now anything that happened was a one off thing sometimes involving aliens. 
You swallow, gripping the counter of your sink. You were horny again. 
No. 
Not going there. 
No space weirdness this morning. 
Because you’re on leave for the space equivalent of 6 or 5 days, you don’t have much to do. You get food. It had taken getting used to, and figuring out which brightly colored pastel goo thing was good, but there was a variety. You still had no clue what was plants or animals up in space. 
The more liberated planets, the more supplies trickled in. Pirates loved to take a cut. 
You eat as soldiers stop by to refuel, fill up on supplies. Despite the stress, you missed being out on the front. Being out of the action sucked. 
Sitting around on a spaceship was boring. 
It wasn’t like they had shops or movie theaters. Walking around too much ended up with you being in the way. 
You clench your jaw, feeling feverish. 
And you had just been getting better. . .
You shove the thought away. 
You end up watching space TV: reality TV shows like Galra Ninja Warrior and nature docu series on plants, some you’ve been on, before finally sliding your hand under the waistband of your trousers and rubbing your clit. 
It takes the edge off, but the heat’s still there, pressed up in the pit of your stomach, cheeks flushes and you sigh, unsatisfied as you click to something other than the marine biomes of Kmeolsuahr. For aliens larger than a schoolbus, they were peaceful creatures. Since they were filter feeders, agriculture had never developed a hold on their planet, but water generators were plentiful. 
Yet another show starring Galra. It was the most common type of show in the Empire. Hijacking communications had given this traveling spaceship TV. You were glad for it now. 
You curl up, the communicator snug around your wrist translating everything instantaneously. It was the part in the soap where there has to be a duel for honor. What a load of crap. 
The two Galra circle each other, close ups of their face like a mexican stand-off. Through TV you got to know the Glara in the empire as more than just soldiers. Spending time in the camps taught you that even Galra citizens could be arrested for treasonous statements against Zarkon. 
They make growling alien sounds, something between a jaguar and a sound not found on earth, an underlying clicking that raises the hairs on the back of your neck. 
You connect the dots. 
The glowing eyes, the purrs and rumbles, and whatever weird alien thing was going on: the red paladin was part Galra. 
Only that made no sense. 
He was from Earth. 
First contact had been what, when the paladins had disappeared? When the Kerberos mission had been abducted, and boy had that made fringe conspiracy theorists happy. . .how could he be part Galra? 
Was it even your problem?
Surely this would go away. . .
You were leaving in a little over five days. 
You curl up and watch TV until you fall asleep, determined to enjoy the rest while it lasted and your weren’t trudging through waist deep mud. 
“Read through the debrief,” a commander with a nebulous rank above you asks. In your line of work, so much was redacted. Information gathering was a fancy way of saying spy. It was why you worked so closely with the rebels. 
You don’t even blink at the slight pale easter egg yellow alien, ears that resembled hair, long and droopy like a rabbit: there were four of them. You’d met stranger. “Yeah. Long mission.”
You were not looking forward to being on a planet with an inhospitable surface. A sun close enough that set the surface on fire with it’s rays, no thanks. 
Still, it was your assignment. 
“It is vital.”
They always said that. 
It seemed to be extracting some key players. Who they were remained unknown until you had to know. It was a lot of flying blind to keep information from leaking to the wrong ears. Loose lips sink ships and all that jazz. 
“I’ll treat it that way,” you nod, pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It would be fun flying a hijacked Galra fighter ship. The planet was pretty deep in Empire controlled space. 
“And,” the alien looks you up and down like a Garrison RA finding a stain on your uniform during morning inspection, “get rid of that scent.”
“What,” you ask plainly, “scent.”
The alien raises a hairless muscle over its eye. The gesture is human enough. “Voltron has docked here.” 
It was subterfuge. Both of you were in the same line of work, you could do this dance in your sleep. “As far as I know, yes.” You are careful to keep your expression neutral, feeling stupid for not having used negating get. It wasn’t even rationed, but used pretty widely. There were many aliens who relied primarily on scent, and those whose sense of smell was far sharper than yours. 
“Mm.”
You hold their gaze. 
You weren’t one to waver.
“Any further questions?”
“None.”
“Good.”
You walk blithely back to your room, intending to shower, again, and probably take care of the warmth in your gut. The heat was like an uncomfortable itch under your skin that stubbornly remained no matter how much you ignored it. 
How was it even possible that Keith was any part alien let alone Galra? You were pretty sure the entire planet would have known if the Galra arrived on the planet. 
It was intriguing. 
Your mind drew up the details you knew, trying to make them fit. It was half mental exercise, half the urge to actually get to the bottom of this. Keith didn’t look half Glara like Prince Lotor and his gang of misfits. . .quarter, one sixteenth. . .
Occam's Razor. 
The mystery occupied your mind as you made it back to your quarters. 
Keith is pacing outside your door. 
How did he even know where your quarters were?
“Did you sniff your way here,” you ask, genuinely curious. Maybe the traits might not be apparent. . .just how Galra was the red paladin. You were reminded again how little you actually knew him. 
Understanding fills his eyes; he knew you knew. Keith looks over at you for a second before ducking his head dejectedly, a straw dog expecting to be run off. 
Your heart ached. 
How a paladin of Voltron could be so self conscious despite going toe to toe with the Empire on a daily basis. . .you didn’t know. They were only flesh and blood after all. 
You take pity on him, “so is this going to be a thing,” the corners of your mouth lift into a small smile. You were still a little sore. You wouldn’t mind going another few rounds. . .
But you needed to clear some things up first. 
Just how much of this between you was space Galra funkiness? 
Keith snorts, looking up, meeting your searching gaze. His shoulders were still tense, unsure that you weren’t about to tell him to shove off. Not the loner type entirely by choice then, his innate awkwardness must have made it hard to connect. 
It wasn’t a problem you’d ever had, rushing into everything headfirst, taking charge. 
“Not like there’s a lot of humans to choose from up here,” he says self-deprecatingly. 
You bite the inside of your cheek. “I’m down for some alien funkiness,” you answer evenly, taking a step towards him. He inhales sharply, looking away again, this time in thought. 
The lines of his face increase, clearly uncomfortable, frowning. 
“I can’t usually,” Keith admits in a tense voice, “smell this well. . .though I can smell better than Shiro.”
“Shiro?”
“The black paladin,” he explains, surprised he has to explain at all. 
You answer his unvoiced question, “everyone tends to focus on the color of the lion rather than the pilot inside.”
“Oh. That’s dumb.” He looks a little relieved at the anonymity that grants. 
“Is it just me then,” you ask, getting to the bottom of things. 
He nods, meeting your gaze. “I don’t know why but I can’t stop thinking of fucking you,” he says without ceremony. 
You find yourself blushing. The connection went both ways, the very alien connection. “Don’t hate me but I think we should go to the medic.” 
Keith frowns. “Or we could just fuck.”
“That horny,” you tease, raising a brow, “or was I just that good?”
Keith cusps a hand against your cheek, his thumb running over your lips. 
Your mouth parts, the tip of your tongue grazing his thumb. 
“So you don’t want to fuck,” Keith asks, a playful smirk on his lips. 
You swallow, the urge to say yes right there as his touch on you entranced you, sending desire cascading through your body down to your toes. “This isn’t just alien weirdness is it?” You wanted it to be more. 
“No,” he shakes his head, his breath mingling with yours. “That’s-I’m not that impulsive.”
“Good,” you mutter, pressing your body against his, and opening the door to your room.
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s-brant · 3 years ago
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Angels Roll Their Eyes (2/2)
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(gif: @toesure) (PART ONE)
Summary: Hurricane Agatha approaches Kildare Island during the aftermath of the eventful Fourth of July party. JJ and Y/N are determined to continue avoiding each other after what happened at the party, but John B has other plans for them.
Warnings: Smut, strong language, angst, implied physical abuse, depictions of anxiety/panic attacks, and sickeningly sweet fluff.
Word Count: 24k
A/N: Here we goooo! To celebrate the trailer dropping today, here’s part two to Devils Roll The Dice. If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you read it and come back so this makes sense. This one has all the drama and spice, so buckle up! Thank you for the love and support on the first part. Let me know if you enjoyed this and have fun, cause I had a blast writing it.
Hurricane Agatha.
It was the first thing she heard about as soon as she woke up yesterday to the sound of her phone blaring with an obnoxious tone that reminds her of waking up too early in the morning for work or school.
Her sleepy eyes couldn't make out who was calling, so she pressed the button to answer and lifted the phone to hear her mom's voice squawking through the speaker at her about the hurricane projected to hit the island in the middle of the night tonight.
The problem is, her parents are out of town this week, leaving her all alone to prep the house and endure the storm alone. And for someone who flinches whenever she thinks she hears the sound of thunder in the sky, that is the worst it can get.
It's a fear her friends are conscious of. One time when they were out on the HMS Pogue, a quick summer storm started to drift overhead and it took all of her self control to not fall into a blind panic when thunder began to rumble above. John B was already steering them back in the direction of the Chateau but she knew it would do nothing to calm her nerves until she was back inside of the house.
The anxiety was starting to become too overwhelming when JJ sat down beside her and threw his arm over her shoulder. It was their first month of knowing one another, so the casual friendly gesture made her jump at first and turn her head to look at him, but he acted like everything was normal.
The next person to notice was John B. With JJ currently out of commission, the only person she thought to call to help her prep the house for the incoming storm was him. Since they never got hurricanes up where she used to live her whole life, she needed someone who's been through a couple to help her while her parents weren't home.
That's how she ended up here. Sweating bullets in the front yard of her house as she unloads the contents of the van with John B was not how she envisioned her Saturday night to go, but she's glad she has someone who's willing to help.
In the past five months of being with the Pogues, she's learned that it's lovely to have friends. She never used to have any before she moved, so in situations like this or when she got so drunk at the party, she never would've had anyone to be there for her. It's quiet moments of kindness and companionship like this that make her realize how much better life has been on the other side of uprooting everything to move here—self-inflicted boy drama and all.
The sandbag on her shoulder sends a growing ache through her back muscles with every step she takes to follow him up the length of unpaved dirt path up to her front door. As usual, he makes it look way easier than it is, and it almost makes her want to laugh at how different they are.
Most of her new friends are effortless, naturally picking up anything they decide to try at while she is inept by comparison. It's part of what attracted her to JJ in the first place. He may have his insecurities the same way every other individual does, but in her eyes, he has nothing to be insecure of. Even when he wipes out on a wave and appears out of the water with sand clumped in his salt-kissed strands of blonde hair, he manages to make it look cool.
"What are you smiling about?"
John B's laughter makes her look up from where she concentrated on the dirt path to see him looking back at her. He stands at the entrance to her house with the rest of the sandbags they carried up placed meticulously in front of the door to prevent water from entering the house. They did the same thing with the back door an hour ago.
Is she smiling? She hadn't even realized her expression changed from one of exhaustion and fear at the dark clouds closing in above to a grin, so her face instantly drops in guilt. After running out on JJ for the second time two days ago to go to work, any mention of him from their friends has left her drowning in shame.
She can't recall the bulk of her memories from the night of the Fourth of July party, but she fills in the gaps between those flashes of memory with what their friends told her about it.
Thanks to her overindulgence, there are holes poked in the fabric of her memory.
It jumps from her last fully sober moment of seeing JJ across the room with the kook girl to dancing clumsily with Kie to the floral scent of her makeup wipes that she can't attach a specific visual image to.
Then, she can remember waking up with a start in the middle of the night to throw up in a pot beside the bed while he held back her hair. Before John B explained it, she was quite confused after waking up about how she somehow got from being jealous over JJ flirting with another girl to waking up in the same bed as him.
She grunts as she plops the last sandbag down into place and decides to take a seat on the steps leading up to the door.
"It wasn't anything special," Y/N says and watches him come down to sit next to her, "I was just thinking about taking something so I can pass out and avoid having a panic attack over this stupid storm."
Unlike JJ, she isn't that skilled of a liar. It's obvious to anyone who knows her well when she does it based on the way her eye contact begins to drift away and her voice raises in pitch when she speaks. She's too honest with her friends to handle keeping secrets from them, which is why it's been so difficult for her with everything that has happened recently. Not only does she lie to the Pogues, she also avoids them by association in the process of trying to avoid JJ.
Regardless of how obvious her bluffing is, John B doesn't call her out on it. Instead, he focuses on a different part of what she said.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay alone? I know your parents are out of town till next week..." he trails off into concerned silence.
The tip of her sneaker hangs off of the edge of the bottom step and absentmindedly digs a line into the dirt as she takes in his question.
Being alone when she's prone to panicking is a recipe for disaster. Anxiety and loneliness have a relationship similar to that of a weapon and ammunition. It takes very little for her to fall down the rabbit hole of obsessive thinking and break down into a hyperventilating, fearful mess, especially when no one else is there to tug her out of those dark thoughts.
Most of the time, the people who help her with that are her parents. If they're home during one of these episodes, she'll come stumbling downstairs to them from her room for help, and they'll do everything they can to bring her down from hysterics. Her friends, on the other hand, have yet to witness her have one of those moments.
"Having people with me helps, you know? But it is what it is, I'll just try to cope the best I can and hope for the best."
He nods, and though he's a portrait of understanding, she wonders if he finds it as juvenile and stupid as she does.
Logically, she knows that this anxiety is something many people experience. She understands that it's something that is mostly out of her control but can't help but tear herself apart over it.
She thinks to herself, What kind of weirdo can't sit inside during a thunderstorm or hurricane without losing their shit? Why am I not the one in control of my own mind when this happens?
Do her friends think similar things? Do they think it's as pathetic as she does, or is she just paranoid that they pick her flaws apart as much as she does? And, of course, she wonders what JJ would think if he saw her panic like that. He may have seen her start to become anxious on the HMS Pogue, but he hasn't seen her panic panic before, not in the way that her parents have, and she wonders if he'd think less of her for it.
Right when she's about to change the topic and steer him away from a chance to think of how ridiculous she's being about the approaching hurricane, he says something that makes her look back over at him.
"Then come spend the night at the Chateau. I can distract you. We can play board games and shit."
"Really?" she asks.
The idea of anyone wanting to waste an entire night playing board games and possibly signing themselves up for having to talk her down from a panic attack makes her heart melt.
"Yeah, why not? You need a friend tonight. You know any of us would do anything for you. You're like my little sister, dude, we'd all probably hack off a limb if we thought it'd help you. Especially JJ."
John B's last second name-drop is designed specifically for where he wants this conversation to go. Underneath the need to get his friends back to normal, he does feel a little guilty for having to do this. She thinks he's only offering to let her stay with him to help her—and he is, even if there weren't a rift between her and JJ, he'd still offer—but he has a different reason.
"Right," she says softly. "Speaking of which...is he gonna be there tonight?"
With how often he escapes his house to spend a night or two in temporary safety at the Chateau, it's not an unfounded assumption. He and John B spend more time together than any of them because of this, and when she goes over to hang out, she knows that he and JJ often come as a package deal.
He tries to play it cool and not give up anything that could make her suspicious of him, looking off at the van parked in the driveway as he takes a second to collect his thoughts. It's never easy for him to deceive people he cares about, even if it's for their own good. It wasn't easy when he invited JJ to spend the night a few hours ago with the knowledge that he'd soon invite Y/N too either, but he managed.
As always, Pope is the brains behind this operation. He was the one to suggest inviting them both over to wait out Agatha together when the three of them put their heads together to come up with a solution to their oblivious friends' drama. After JJ stormed out of the house the morning after the party, they knew they had to do something about it. This was what it came to.
"Nah. I offered but he said he's staying at home until this whole thing blows over."
He isn't sure why she buys into it.
She knows JJ well enough to know that he would literally rather eat glass than be trapped in a confined space with his dad for an entire day. Perhaps it's only because it's what she wants to believe. She wants to believe that she won't have to see him again tonight after everything that happened. How can she handle having to tell him why got so drunk that night and made an ass of herself? She can't bear to tell him all of that unnecessary drama started because she was jealous.
What right does she have to feel that way? He isn't hers. They aren't together, and she thinks it's quite obvious that he doesn't want a relationship out of whatever it is they have together. It was one night. She has no right to be mad at him for flirting with other girls because of it.
"Then I'll definitely be taking you up on that offer. Thank you," she says.
The old wooden stairs make a squealing sound when she stands to make her way inside to gather her things for the night, but the feeling of a warm hand gripping her forearm stops her mid-step. Her eyes follow down the length of her arm back to where he sits, glancing at her with this knowing look in his eyes that makes her want to turn and hide.
"When are you gonna talk things out with him, Y/N?" he asks. "He misses you."
Since the party, no one has had the courage to burst her bubble of pretending not to care until now, but now that someone has, all of her bottled up emotions stir inside of her at a simple concept she hadn't considered yet.
JJ misses her.
For the first time since they began this stupid game of cat and mouse, she is confronted with how desperately she misses him back. So consumed with the task of concealing everything that happened and trying to avoid him, she hadn't acknowledged that all she ever really wants is to be with him lately.
She misses his jokes and the way he looks at her when she giggles at them. She misses his smile when they play fight on the HMS Pogue. She even misses when he dangles her over the edge of the boat as a means to end the wrestling match, making her squirm in his strong hold as he threatens to toss her overboard.
But what she misses most of all is how he never lets her fall in. It's something about the way he looks at her as he pulls her back onboard, how time itself seems to stop in the moment between when he's still holding her and when she feels her feet touch the deck again.
Then, they'll suddenly want nothing to do with each other for the next half hour.
JJ will make himself busy forgetting the way her hands felt holding onto his shoulders for dear life, burning the memory of her palm prints into his skin for the next few hours. And she'll try her hardest to forget that charming smile and the feeling of his arms around her. But it won't work, not really, and when they're both laying down to sleep at night, they'll have one thing keeping them awake.
She takes a second to internalize what he said and avoid exposing the effect it has on her to hear it before asking, "Did he tell you that?"
The sky overhead grows darker and darker by the second, but she has yet to notice it due to the topic of their conversation. With JJ involved, her attention shrinks to a tunnel leading only to him. There's no room for anything else but the audacious idea planted in the back of her mind that he might miss her as much as she misses him.
"No, he didn't," John B admits, and right when she's about to say more in response, he cuts her off, "but hear me out. I've known him since we were kids, so I can tell when things aren't right with him, and ever since your relationship with him got complicated, I picked up on some weird vibes."
Y/N doesn't give anything away with how she reacts. He can't tell if she's about to bolt like JJ did or stay to talk and open up to him. All she does is cross her arms over her chest and lean back against the railing.
"Weird in what way?"
"Weird in a way that makes me think you two have to talk it out before you ruin your friendship. I've never seen him act this way over a girl."
That doesn't surprise her. He has a reputation for chasing after any girl available to him, something the Pogues have gently teased him about, and it factors into why she doesn't want to have this dreaded conversation with him. She doesn't want to sit there and listen to him tell her that she was just another one of those girls to him.
Going for broke and being honest about what he thinks of their situation is a better strategy for trying to get her to talk to JJ than the other way around. John B can look back on what happened the morning after the party and see where they went wrong in their approach of trying to get him to talk, but she's less unpredictable and turbulent than he is. The fact that she's hearing him out is enough proof of their differences.
She sighs.
"I know we need to talk sooner or later, but it's hard, you know? I'm so embarrassed of how everything went down at the party, even though I was too fucked up to remember most of it, and I just—" There's a brief second that lapses between when she stops and when she starts again where he can almost see her working through it in her head. "I don't wanna get hurt."
John B's face falls at the mention of the party and her feelings surrounding it.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed of. You drank too much but who cares? The only person who should be embarrassed about that night is the guy that tried to take advantage of you."
That part is the most fuzzy in her mind.
She can remember what led up to it and the moment she saw JJ pull him away from her, but she can't remember anything about the interaction itself. It wasn't as if he did anything to her—not yet—but the thought of it alone makes her skin crawl because she's seen that before. She's been the JJ in that situation, pulling a wasted Touron away from someone who thought nobody would be looking out for other people at the party, and she knows how quickly those situations can escalate past "harmless" flirting.
The sound of JJ shouting at Tyler echoes in her mind as she reaches for any remaining memories left from the party. He said it right after he punched him, when he was starting to rush forward to follow him onto the ground and pin him there.
"If I see you near my girl again, you're fucking dead! You got that?"
She doesn't remember realizing that he called her that at the moment. She was confused and upset and all she wanted to do was stop him from getting himself in trouble, so she pulled him away from hitting Tyler again without realizing what he said. And even now, she tries to avoid acknowledging it. She reasons with herself, telling herself that he was pissed off and didn't mean it, because if he did, why hasn't he told her how he feels yet?
Y/N looks up and sees how dark the converging clouds have gotten in the time since they began working on prepping the house for the hurricane, so her next words are shakier than usual.
"I guess you're right." She pushes off of her spot against the railing. "But can we not talk about JJ tonight? I kind of wanna hang out and forget about the rest of the stuff I've got going on right now."
This makes him feel a pang of guilt inside of him for the ulterior motive he's kept hidden from her for the duration of the conversation, but he knows it's for the best. Even if her and JJ's inevitable conversation goes in the wrong direction and they don't end up mending fences, it's better that they let it out sooner than later. If they wait any longer, it'll make it worse, and he knows that they're stubborn enough to keep this childish game going for another week or so.
So, he keeps her in the dark for now and offers a kind, "Sure, that's cool with me," despite knowing how messy the night will soon become.
A smile pokes at the edges of her mouth, making the sides of her eyes crinkle, and she extends a hand to help him up from where he sits.
"Now," she says as they make their way inside the house for her to pack a bag, "are you ready to get absolutely crushed in Monopoly?"
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It started to rain before they left her house, and by the time they pull into the driveway of the Chateau, it's pouring down on them with violent winds whipping droplets at their faces hard enough to hurt.
The rapid pace of her pulse beats with such an intensity, she can feel it in her head. They shouldn't have taken so much time at her place before heading over here. While she was packing, they talked and dilly-dallied the whole time, and now they pay the price for it.
If she knew that it would start this soon into the night, she probably would've hurried things along sooner, but it's too late. She's already starting to feel that tightness in her chest and each breath of air feels less satisfying with every inhale. It's not so bad that she loses complete control of herself, but it's getting there, and she can't express how badly she doesn't want to lose her shit in front of John B.
The passenger side door is slammed shut by the force of the wind behind her, the noise becoming swallowed up in the rest of the budding storm, and she stifles a sound of surprise that escapes her in reaction to it. They're lucky they made it here in the first place. Any later in the night and they probably would've had to take refuge at her place until it blew over.
She decides to focus on how the edges of her white sneakers are swallowed up by the muddy earth on her way through the front yard to distract herself. It stains them a deep brown color and simultaneously washes them clean from the rain coming down from above, which she'd probably be annoyed about if she weren't such a nervous wreck. But, because she's too busy keeping her backpack raised over her head to shield herself from the rain on her way up to the front door, it's not high up on her list of priorities.
Since both the screen door and the door behind it are unlocked, she doesn't hesitate to come bursting into the house as she usually does.
Y/N lets out a deep breath, feeling that telltale tension in her chest and shoulders, and laughs at the sight of John B running in as she kicks off her shoes. His t-shirt is speckled with rainwater, and his hair is saturated enough with it to stick to the sides of his face after he crosses the threshold into the Chateau.
The sound of her laughter makes JJ's heart stop from where he stands in the kitchen.
"There was an umbrella right on the dashboard, why didn't you take—"
Her heart might as well have stopped just as abruptly as the sentence she was in the middle of saying when she turned and saw him standing there.
Maybe they're both a tad too dramatic, but it takes a full few seconds for them to stop staring at each other in surprise. He looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide with surprise like he was caught doing something he shouldn't even though all he was doing was grabbing a beer from the fridge.
It's been two days since they last saw each other. For him, the last glimpse he got of her was when he peeked through the blinds to see her pedaling away on her bike to go to work, but hers was somewhat different.
The last time she saw him, he was asleep. Their legs were tangled together underneath the sheets and his face was smushed against her chest, allowing her to feel the soft puffs of his exhales on her skin every few seconds. It's a wonder that she managed to slip away unnoticed once she remembered she had work that morning. He was holding her closely, so closely that she found it hard to discern where she ended and he began in the dazed, hungover headspace she woke up in.
It's when the conversation she had with John B on the front steps of her house comes back to the forefront of her mind that she puts together what's happening right now. Now that they're here, it's far too late to leave. With how aggressively the wind and rain batter the area surrounding the house, it's obvious that they're not going anywhere.
It seems to click with them at the same time, because JJ turns to look at him only a half second after she does.
Y/N says, completely serious, "If you did what I think you did, I'm gonna kill you."
Before either of them can think of doing anything, John B shoots out from the doorway and runs past her in the direction of the hallway where his bedroom is.
"Gotta catch me first!"
They both chase him, JJ hopping over the back of the couch to run after him, but they end up coming to a screeching halt at the shut door right when they hear the lock turn and click.
Neither of them knows what they were planning to do when they caught him, cause it isn't like they'd hurt him, but they bang on the door nonetheless. The sound is drowned out by the sound of the wind and rain pounding the outside walls of the house, picking up speed, and for a second she wants to kick the door open.
She shouts, "John B! Open this door!"
The last thing she wanted tonight was to be trapped in a house with the one person she didn't want to see. Doesn't John B realize how embarrassing it is for her to be around him when she knows that he's gonna reject her? He may have said something about JJ never acting so weird over a girl before, but he's wrong. There's no way JJ actually wants her...right?
"I can't hear you, this storm's kinda loud!" he yells back at them through the locked door. "Maybe try again later!"
Neither of them wants to acknowledge the other. In fact, they don't even want to look at each other right now, so all they can do to stop themselves from acknowledging the elephant in the room is continue trying to get answers out of John B. What does he think that locking them together in the Chateau for the night will accomplish other than make them ignore their own drama and team up to plot their revenge on him?
Though he's significantly less angry than she is, JJ pulls the doorknob enough to make the door whine on its hinges and pleads with their friend, "This isn't funny, John B. Open the door."
"Not until you guys stop being immature and talk to each other."
She furrows her brows at him even though he can't see her, saying, "It's none of your business. You can't just trap us here cause you think you know what's best for us."
The sound of thunder rumbling above the house makes her flinch, hand shooting out to latch onto JJ's arm on an instinct she couldn't consciously resist. Feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her palm and the fingers clutched around his wrist sends shocks of familiar electricity up her body. Touching him always makes her feel hyperaware of herself, leaving her to wonder if he can sense her pulse picking up or notice how her breathing pattern turns uneven.
With that being said, it's safe to say that the night they spent together took that sensation of electricity and hyperawareness to a height it hadn't reached before.
That time, it wasn't a brush of their hands or an arm over her shoulder, it was the epitome of physical closeness. She couldn't handle it. He was so sickeningly sweet with her, yet, at the same time, he knew all of the right times to be commanding and in control too. There were awkward moments at first, sure, but once they became comfortable with each other, it was game over.
And whenever they've touched since, she hasn't been able to get those memories off of her mind. It's less prevalent now, since she's only holding onto him out of fear, but it's still there underneath it all—the unfiltered desperation of the lust in his eyes, the low noises that escaped his parted lips, and the strong pair of hands that pinned her hips down on the mattress to give him the leverage to really give it to her at the intensity she begged for.
It's pathetically easy for her to be sucked right back into the vortex of emotions, memories, and fears that haunt her whenever they touch, but he brings her back out of it just as easily when he speaks.
"You okay?"
John B was as good as forgotten by him as soon as he felt her jolt next to him and grab onto his wrist like she was hanging from a ravine and he was the only thing preventing her from falling. It makes him feel like a fool, but even when they're ignoring each other, the urge to comfort and protect her from anything that displeases her never disappears. He'd literally fistfight Zeus if it meant there'd be less thunder to scare her.
If he weren't hiding behind a locked door to avoid their wrath, JB would probably be calling him a simp right about now.
The concern on his face is so pure and unaffected by any of the chaos that surrounds them, both physical and emotional, that it makes her stomach turn with a sick feeling. God, he really does care about her. Why does that scare her? Why doesn't she want to believe that he cares? Why is she so set on believing that he wanted nothing more than a quick fuck from her?
Her eyes turn down to see their connected hands, realizing all in one moment what she did and pulling her hand away as if she were burned.
"I—Yeah," she stops, looking up at him, then back to the closed bedroom door, "I'm fine. You know how it is, it's just the storm."
They're both left with no choice but to face the music after days of avoidance that had no good reason behind it other than the respective doubts and fears they have. Yet even now that they're standing here, unsure of what comes next, they're hesitant to say or do anything that might disrupt the illusion they've created in the week and a half since they first ruined their friendship for good.
It feels as though the tension that has been boiling between them is coming close to turning explosive and all it will take is one tremor of their self-control for it to spill over.
Every feeling they have feels so contradictory. They want to but they also don't. They almost do it, then hesitate and decide to ignore each other for days. At the party, this tug of war game was at its peak for JJ when she was telling him about her jealousy and cuddling up to him, but he couldn't do it then, not when she was drunk. And by the time he had a whole night to think it over and see her biking away, he didn't want to risk it.
She looks away from him, hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" may ring true for once, and says to John B through the door, "Whatever, have fun. I won't hold JJ back when you finally come out of there though."
He won't actually do anything to him, maybe just a non-serious fight that'll end with her walking in on them rolling around on the floor trying to wrestle each other, but she likes to fuck with him anyway. For the dick move he just pulled, she thinks he can withstand a little teasing.
Without anything else to say, Y/N turns and walks off to make herself useful elsewhere—anything to distract from the buzzing, anxious energy that surrounds her from both the hurricane and being forced to confront JJ. She tries to play it cool though she is anything but at the moment, allowing herself to grimace once her back is turned to the blonde boy still standing against the wall in the hallway.
Maybe if she keeps pushing this false sense of normalcy, it'll work. It worked when they both started pretending things never happened between them initially after they had sex, so who's to say it can't work now?
All they have to do is get through the next 12-24 hours without talking and all will be well. Right?
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They tried.
They truly tried to get through the night without inciting chaos within the Chateau, but, for these two idiots, not inciting chaos is a task easier said than done. Not only was John B much more stubborn with staying in his room than either of them bargained for, he didn't even attempt to speak to them for the first five hours and they were left with nothing to do but find new ways to avoid talking to each other.
It was simple in the beginning.
She went off on her own and sat with her headphones in to drown out the sounds of the storm.
With her eyes fluttered shut to block out anything but the sound of The Cure blasting into her ears, there was no reason for her to have to worry about anything once her nerves began to settle. Since the songs drowned out any sound and all she could see was darkness behind her closed eyelids, she was able to drift away with the distraction of the music.
The thing is, after a while, she started to see pieces of him in every song she skipped to. She made it a full minute into Just Like Heaven before a supercut of her most treasured memories of him began appearing in her head. Fade Into You? Skipped as soon as the first dreamy lyric flooded in through the tangled cords of the headphones. Cloud 9? Forty seconds in. By the time Dirty Little Secret came on, she decided that her playlist was mocking her.
The headphones were out of her ears, hastily wrapped up, and stowed away in the small pocket of her overnight bag before the chorus of the song could hit. Thankfully for her, JJ wasn't looking when she ripped the headphones out and put them away in a huff, so by the time he turned to see her again, she was laying down on the couch to "nap"—meaning she laid awake for another hour and cursed John B for making her endure this.
While she was daydreaming of a John B voodoo doll, JJ was worried about her.
Yes, the topic of their relationship/friendship/situationship/whatever-the-fuck-it-is was bombarding him against his will every five seconds, but not without him coming back to his concern for her. A small sound of thunder on an otherwise perfect day was enough to make her zone out and start getting antsy that day on the boat, so he didn't want to know how bad it could get during a time like this.
He tried to play it cool, and, in all honesty, his remaining scraps of sanity lasted a lot longer than hers. Four and a half hours passed, then, as the storm began to do its worst on their town, the power flickered out and left them in complete darkness. At that point, John B was passed out in his bedroom, so he didn't care nor notice when they had to find a few candles and stumble through the dark.
Somewhere along the way, having to search through the dark house for candles to light and place around the living room led them here...he isn't quite sure how.
JJ can hardly open his eyes enough to see through the rain that pounds against him the second he runs after her through the back door. The wind is so aggressive and unrelenting, it almost sends him stumbling a few steps when he follows her blurry figure a few paces behind where she tries to flee the house in a panic.
"Get back inside!" he shouts as he picks up his speed to catch up, "Y/N!"
The part of him that isn't focused on the pure physicality of trying to see and move through the stormy weather is utterly overwhelmed with fear. Not for himself but for her. She's deathly afraid of mild storms, let alone hurricanes, and yet she ran through the back door when he tried comforting her through an anxiety attack. One would think that she wouldn't want to go directly into the thing she fears the most, but what sent her running for the hills wasn't the panic itself, it was him.
It's hard for her to think rationally in this state, but all she knows is that he was there, he was saying all the right things and holding her, and she couldn't do it. The fear began to blend to one centered around both him and the storm. The hours of useless distractions and ruminating in her thoughts built up to this point of contention, then it snapped.
Between the thunder, his voice, and the voice in the back of her head that was urging her to confess her feelings and do as John B advised them to, it became too much. Maybe it was the most idiotic split-second decision she made without any regard for logic or reason or her safety, but she bailed. For the third time, she couldn't handle the pressure and ran from him.
The only difference is that he couldn't let her leave this time.
He gasps for air against the streams of water flowing down his face, soaking his hair and making it hang in his eyes to obstruct his view more than the weather already has. It happened so fast, neither of them are wearing shoes. His feet sink into the muddy yard with every stride he takes in his frantic pursuit of her and it frustrates him no end because of how it slows him down.
There's endless dangerous possibilities with her being out here. She could be knocked over into the marsh by the wind, or stuck and hurt by a piece of debris—merely thinking about it makes him call out her name louder in the hopes that it'll wake her from her panicked trance.
After trudging through the mud all the way to the edge of the yard, he finally manages to get to her.
"What are you doing?" JJ shouts, turning her around and grabbing onto both of her arms as if one gust of wind would sweep her away if he didn't, "You're gonna get hurt!"
Stumbling backwards in the direction of the screened-in porch that surrounds the back door, he uses their difference in strength to tug her away in the direction she came out in. The rain makes it difficult to keep a firm grasp on her, and she almost slips away a couple of times when the wind picks up enough to make him too unsteady to hold on.
His arms slip around her waist for a better grasp on her the closer they come to reaching the house. The last thing he wants is to almost get her back inside and lose her at the last second. She isn't thinking rationally right now with the panic she feels taking full control of her responses. He knows firsthand how it feels to be thrown headfirst into a panic attack, he's been in her shoes before and knows better than anyone the lengths your irrational mind will go to if it means survival. And for whatever reason, her response is flight, not fight.
The door to the screen porch takes all of his effort to open against the power of the wind blowing it back against the house.
He grits his teeth as he forces it open, one arm secured around her midsection, and helps her in before he slips inside too. The second he lets go of the door, it's sent slamming back into place and rattling in the frame behind them, but he doesn't spend anymore time on it other than the few seconds it takes to lock it. As soon as it clicks with him that they're safe—most importantly, that she's safe—he whips around to face her with a cold rage flowing through his veins.
"What the fuck?"
She stands in front of him with water pouring off of her in rapid drops onto the rug, and there are no thoughts in her head outside of the ones telling her to leave. Her tears blend in with the droplets of rain so seamlessly that he wouldn't know she's crying if not for the sound of it.
In between her rapid breaths and sobs, she yells back at him, "I was scared, okay?"
"Why'd you run out into the storm if you—"
"I wasn't afraid of the storm, I was afraid of you!"
The silence that follows is louder than anything they've experienced. Nothing can rival it, not the thunder, the rain, or anything can drown it out while he stares at her in shock. His eyes are wide, lips slightly parted as he reaches for something, anything, he can say in response to that, but there's nothing. For once, he is absolutely speechless.
Things got awkward between them in the initial aftermath of last week, but not like this. There was never an instance where he felt like there was nothing left for him to say to her to fill the uncomfortable silence that always brought forth memories of them together until now. Until she said the last thing he wanted or expected to hear.
His anger subsides as he picks over what he did in his head for anything that could've made her feel unsafe.
Before it evolved into him chasing after her through the hurricane, he noticed how terrible it had gotten for her when he lit the first candle. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her chest began to rise and fall faster with each second that passed. He could see it on her face that things were getting worse, but, now that he thinks of it, it got worse once he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.
It felt like a dream sequence in his head, so hazy and faraway now that it's over, and he was so stunned by what she was doing, he didn't run after her until a few seconds later. There was a delay in which he stood there in surprise and tried to process what the hell just happened to no avail. Though it wasn't very long, he remembers it feeling like eternity tucked into the cramped space of four seconds.
JJ's voice is softer than she's ever heard it, asking into the void of the near-darkness that encloses them, "What'd I do?" And it breaks her heart in half to hear him sound so concerned, so terrified of the idea that he did something to hurt her when all he did was try to help. "I never meant to scare you, I swear. I know how bad it can get sometimes, and I know we haven't been talking but I'd never try to hurt you if that's what you thought..."
His thoughts run rampant with the possibilities of what she was thinking at the time, and he realizes that he can't stand the idea of her thinking anything badly of him. He never cares about what people think, but, fuck, he loathes the idea of her having any ill feelings toward him.
Y/N immediately starts shaking her head, her face scrunching with the emotion and incessant tears.
"I know you'd never hurt me. I was scared because..." she stops herself mid sentence, catching it right when she was about to admit the one thing she promised herself she wouldn't.
But the need to say it doesn't go away this time. Usually, once she catches herself she comes to her senses and realizes how foolish it would've been to confess, but this time is different. This time, the urge to speak her mind and tell him everything sticks around. The words left unsaid creep up her throat, thrashing and begging to let out after months of being pushed aside.
The look in her eyes is strangely reminiscent of the way she looked at him the night they hooked up, almost yearning in its nature, and he couldn't be more confused. She's scared of him, but she's looking at him like she did when she was two seconds away from jumping his bones. And if he didn't do anything wrong, why was she afraid enough to face her worst fear in order to avoid him?
"Because what?" he asks.
That frustration from when they first stepped into the porch hasn't vanished, it only took a backseat once she said she was afraid of him, not the storm, and he can feel it stirring up again. He's tired of not having answers. He's tired of mixed signals and loneliness and unrequited love. Most of all, he's tired of her running away all the time. At this point, he questions whether or not it's worth it to expose his feelings to her and suffer the consequences.
John B was right. This isn't healthy for them, nor is it healthy for them to put their friends through this along with them, and it might be better to not be friends than to stay this way forever. At least that way they wouldn't be wishing for answers that would never come for the rest of their time together.
She decides at this moment that this has to be said before it gets worse, before she runs away again like a scared, immature child and ruins everything.
"Because," she has to shout over the lightning that cracks down on the earth down the street, something she would be trembling in fear over if she weren't so focused on him, "I've been in love with you for a couple months and it scares me more than anything, even this stupid fucking storm! And I've tried so hard to ignore it because I know you don't feel the same way, but you touched me and I just"—a soft cry escapes her—"I couldn't do it anymore."
There it is.
After months of ruminating over it and hiding everything, he knows, and her immediate feeling after she says it isn't what she thought it would be. She expected trepidation and regret, but what she finds on the other side isn't either of those, it's relief. Her dad often tells her when she's nervous about something that the anticipation is worse than the thing itself, and that has never been as true her as it is now.
However, some of the nerves return with the time that passes after she spoke in complete silence. Much like the delayed reaction he had to her running out of the house, it isn't as long as it feels to her. It's a short span of time that it takes for her words to process with him, but it feels like an eternity that he stands there with his head facing the floor in quiet contemplation.
Her heart sinks.
This means he doesn't feel the same way, doesn't it? If he were the one telling her he loved her, she likely would've leaped into his arms and said it back, but he stays where he is.
Then, after what feels like forever, she thinks she sees him start to smile and feels like she's losing her mind. It's quite dark out here, so there's only a limited amount of light to allow her to see his features, but there's no doubting it when a flash of lightning floods the porch with a split-second of harsh light.
Oh God, why is he smiling? What does it mean?
Much to her frustration, the first thing he says after her confession isn't much help in making her understand his feelings either.
"Why didn't you just talk to me?"
Why? The voice in the back of her mind asks incredulously. Is he seriously asking why? He ignored me too. He didn't want to talk about it either, so what else was I supposed to do?
Maybe she was undeniably worse when it came to the avoidance and lack of communication, but he could've reached out to her too. They both could've. Instead, they spent day after day waiting for the other to make the move and pushed the tension further and further until it finally broke. Now she's waiting for him to hurry up and reject her so she can move on with her life.
She shivers from the wind blowing at her wet skin through the screens separating them from the outside world, crossing her arms over her body to hug herself. His eyes follow her movements down to the breaths that are slowly evening out without her realizing it. It turns out that confessing your love for the guy you've been crushing on since the day you met him is a hell of a distraction.
"I thought you wouldn't wanna hear me being all emotional and shit over a one time thing. You've literally never had an actual relationship before. And that's fine," she rambles, "I'll be okay eventually, but that's not who you are and there isn't a problem with that. I just caught feelings when I shouldn't have."
In her defense, she isn't making baseless assumptions about him, he hasn't had a relationship before. His love life hasn't ever really revolved around love itself, it was mostly comprised of random chicks he'd meet at parties or at the beach during the summertime when tourists come to visit the island. Out of all of them, he's the last one the Pogues would expect to fall in love with someone and commit to a relationship, but then...
He looks over at her with a swell of emotion within him that he's never felt before. It wasn't like he hadn't known before now. He did. He even said it out loud to himself that morning after the party, but this is when it feels the most real. Now that she's said it to him, he doesn't feel so stupid for toying with the four letter word in the back of his mind for the entirety of the past week.
In all honesty, he was the last person he would've expected to fall in love with someone this quickly too. He thought he knew himself better than this. He thought he could keep himself hidden away and not let anyone close enough to see him—the real him, faults and feelings and vulnerability included—but she proved him wrong. In walked Y/N with her pretty smile, teeny bikini bottoms, and oddly strong opinions on Ratatouille, and he stood no chance.
This sudden crescendo of emotion only continues to grow when he watches her shiver, soaked to the skin, across from him and decides that he never wants to deny himself of her again. Those feelings of inadequacy that forced him to question his relationship with her may not have gone away, not by a long shot, but they can't stop him anymore. Nothing can.
Like a light flickering to life in this swirling, stormy darkness, she hears JJ's voice asking her, "What if it is who I am?"
It was said so softly, she nearly lost it beneath the rain and wind. But it was not said with a lack of certainty, which is why she questions if she heard him correctly. He sounded so sure of himself that it feels too good to be true. After his reaction, or lack thereof, to her telling him she loved him, she accepted what was coming and this was not it.
"What?"
He doesn't miss a beat.
"You heard me." There's a pause. "Maybe I needed to meet the right girl."
There is no way he's saying what she thinks he's saying because if he is...if he is then that means the tears and frustration have all been for nothing because he loves her back. But if he loves her, then what was with the kook girl? Was it to make her jealous, or is she misinterpreting him right now and he was flirting with that girl because he doesn't have real feelings for her?
"JJ..." she trails off, looking down and thinking to herself how thankful she is that it's too dark for him to fully see how nervous he made her, "don't do that."
Partly, he should feel offended that she'd think he'd toy with her feelings like that, but he isn't. He's too busy wondering what on earth made this poor girl so insecure to think that someone has to be joking to confess their love to her. It makes him wonder if anyone wronged her before she moved here, and he feels that switch of impulsive anger inside of him flip at the thought.
But that anger has nowhere to go, so it shifts into something different—a need to spend every waking moment of the rest of their time together proving to her that she doesn't have to be so afraid. Does it make him a hypocrite? Probably. It wasn't too long ago that he was telling the Pogues how much he didn't deserve to be with her, but he doesn't see himself the same way he sees her. In his head, he has reasons to believe he doesn't deserve her love, but how could she ever think that herself?
He steps closer to her, the movement something so natural and unconscious to him that he doesn't recognize he does it until he hears her breath hitch in the back of her throat. They were already close enough to reach out and touch each other if they wanted to, yet now it's the kind of closeness that wipes the slate of her mind clean with nothing else but the thought of him there to stay.
He starts to say, "I'm not fucking with you, dude, I'm being serious—"
"Then prove it."
Oh.
The sound of his unfinished sentence lingers on the tip of his tongue as he blinks away his surprise at what she said, though it was less of a statement and more of a challenge. What the challenge is, he isn't too sure, but he thinks there could be a couple of meanings there.
The fire in her eyes when she looked up at him is one he recognizes very well, it stars in one too many of his daydreams that center around their secret night together. She rose to the occasion without fail and matched his chaos every time, and that steely-eyed stare is reminiscent of it.
Yet, the sexual undertone isn't the only part of it to be discovered. There's a clear meaning there for him to actually prove it, to put his money where his mouth is, grow a pair, and tell her how he feels with no room for confusion. No more miscommunication, running away, or insecurity getting between them, just a clear cut confession like hers.
His hand runs through his hair to sweep it out of his eyes and keep the wet strands from dripping down his face. It helps him see her a little better too, grounding him to the moment and calming him at the dimmed sight of her expectant, wide eyed gaze.
There were a million versions of this whenever he let himself imagine admitting it. He only let himself picture it on the worst days, days like the one two days ago when he went home to his dad, ending the night by cleaning his own cuts and inspecting his own bruises in his locked bedroom. He did it to distract himself from wanting to storm out of the room and finally kill the son of a bitch after years of suffering in silence.
JJ closed his eyes, shaking with anger, and dreamed of how he'd tell her. There were versions with long speeches that were far too sappy to exist outside of the realm of his imagination. There were versions with him burying the words between friendly jokes to play down the extent of his feelings too, but he thought it worked best in its simplest form.
So he puts it as simply as it gets, lips fighting a soft smile as he crosses the space between them and rushes in to kiss her. It's charged with an accumulation of the pent up love, anger, and sexual desire that has been repressed until now, resulting in something utterly explosive.
He stops for a second to whisper, "I love you too," into her parted lips, and she finally lets herself go at the sound of those words.
Forget that they've only known each other for five months, when you know you know. This is the real deal. This is the kind of feeling that possesses every accessible inch of her heart and she'd never be open enough to admit that to anyone but him at the moment, but neither of them minds that. It's such a new, rapidly developing feeling that they want to protect it and keep it close to them for the time being.
His arms twine around her waist, tugging her the last bit forward and leaving no space between their bodies this time. The sudden movement draws a sharp gasp from the back of her throat and sends her hands out to brace themselves on his shoulders. The sound of the gasp that disappears into their connected mouths only fuels him on more. It makes him more eager with how he touches her with his hands drifting down the plane of her back, one of which playfully slipping beneath the hem of her soaked shirt in a way that makes her smile into the kiss.
He knows exactly what he does to her. He can sense it in the small reactions that would often go overlooked if it were someone less familiar with her.
It's easy to tell by the way she completely surrenders herself to him, letting out these soft little noises she doesn't even realize she's making when he takes control of the interaction and kisses her like he's starved for it. In a way, he is starving for affection and attention from her. He never knew it was something he needed so badly until he got it, and now he never wants to go without having her again.
That's why it doesn't surprise him when she starts getting antsy after a moment or two, especially after keeping away from him for days.
Her hands run down the length of his chest over the soaked t-shirt, taking a quiet victory in how his stomach flinches inward in response to her exploring touch, and she could swear his next exhale trembles as she continues lower. Never once does she break the kiss, which, by the way, has gone past the point of being passionate and straight to downright needy, but her concentration does falter. The perfectly paced rhythm of her mouth moving with his is interrupted when she touches him over the fabric of his shorts.
Those plushy soft lips go on an exploration of their own too. Leaving him with the first opportunity to catch his breath in minutes, she dips her head beneath the sharp edge of jaw in pursuit of the sweet spot she remembers reducing him to a grabby, moaning mess the last time they did this. It doesn't take her long, not if the tightening of his arms around her and the satisfied hum of a moan she feels vibrate beneath her mouth has anything to say for it.
He loses himself in it for a second or two...okay, fine, maybe ten.
The separate sensations combined spark a flame inside of him that burns so hopelessly for whatever she'll give him. His mind sends him images of them together, both real memories from their first time together and imagined fantasies he only let himself visit in his dreams, and he realizes how thinly spread his self control has become lately.
First, it's the thought of her from last week, thoughts of her gasping, writhing, and begging beneath him that makes his cock throb under the teasing contact of her hand through his shorts. But then he's brought elsewhere. Then, though he hasn't thought of it since the day after the party, he thinks of the mix of jealousy and anger he felt when he saw Tyler with her.
He remembers being sane one moment and charging across the room like a madman the next. He remembers how it felt to watch another person's hands slip under her dress, how it felt to see someone else try to kiss her the way he had, and this raw wound of a memory is all it takes to spur him into action.
It happens so quickly, she doesn't even notice what's happening until he has her scooped up in his arms with her legs around his waist. She doesn't even have the chance to voice her surprise or crack a joke at the expense of his neediness before he reconnects their paused kiss with enough force to make her teeth ache in the collision.
JJ's rings are colder than ice, digging into the flesh of her thighs as he holds them with a tight grip and blindly takes the few steps necessary to reach the back entrance of the house. His wet handprint smudges on one of the cracked-open glass doors and sends droplets of water dribbling down the surface. The teardrop of rain zig-zags at the swinging motion of the door on their way in, only changing course again when he nudges it shut behind him a little too loudly.
"Wh"—her question is cut off by him laying her down on the rug-covered floor in between the couch and coffee table—"What if John B wakes up?"
His first thought was to bring her into the spare bedroom, but then he realized that it shares a wall with John B. Then, he considered the pull out couch but realized that would be louder than the room adjacent to their friend's. His only conclusion was this.
It isn't nearly as romantic as either of them would've pictured, but they're not exactly picky either. They're so desperate for it, they'd likely do it on the porch in the middle of a hurricane if there weren't another option. And in their own weird way, they make it romantic.
There's no one else she'd rather risk rug burn for, and that is the peak of romance.
"John B sleeps like a fuckin' rock," JJ says, "and it's own his fault for trapping us here anyway."
He follows her down onto the floor without a second thought, not even looking up to see if they woke their friend with the sound of the door shutting behind them.
Hovered above her, he looks particularly captivating in the flickering candlelight. The fire burning in one of the three-wick candles they scoured the bathroom cabinets for brings out the warm hues in his blonde hair and highlights every edge of the angular face that looks down at her. The porch was far too dark for her to see him in all of his near-perfection, but this is enough for her to notice a multitude of things.
His slicked back, wet hair allows her to see his features better and the way he looks at her...it's enough to make anyone feel red in the face. How hadn't she see it before? She knows it was denial, but, somehow, she used to overlook the small hints along the way like how he looks at her like she's the only thing that makes sense to him. For the first time in a while, she allows herself to embrace the idea of being loved without looking for something to justify her fears surrounding it.
The sound of her voice brings him out of the mesmerized trance he fell under at the sight of her.
"I've missed you," she says softly, "like a lot."
The sweet admission slows him down for a second, making him stop to ignore the distracting desire that she sparked to life a moment ago and take the time to cherish this moment of rare serenity with her.
It's a wonder that she hasn't even acknowledged the storm raging on outside since they've come back in. It's all thanks to him, of course, since she's been too focused on everything happening between them, but it surprises him. It makes a sense of pride flare up in him on her behalf for being capable of forgetting something she fears so much.
But, on the other hand, it reminds him of how distraught she was right before their conversation/argument on the porch shifted from her panic to the topic of their relationship, and he can't help but hesitate a little.
"I missed you too." The hand he isn't using to support himself above her cups her face, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone. "Are you okay though? You were just crying and I don't wanna make you—"
"Yes."
It was so said so quickly, there was zero hesitation. It's not that it doesn't surprise him that she's as eager as he is after what started to happen out on the porch, but it does make his eyes widen a little. His mouth curls with a slight grin. It's the kind that never fails to make her stomach fluttering and light with butterflies.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay, and I promise I'll let you know if I'm not," Y/N clarifies.
"Okay."
There's a short moment where all they do is look at each other with a complete loss for words to convey what they feel right now. It isn't as awkward as it would've been prior to tonight. Before they confessed their feelings, they wouldn't have been able to look at one another for any longer than a few seconds without needing to walk away to break the tension. Now, things have changed. They don't feel the need to conceal how much they care anymore.
They're still the same bickering duo they've always been with the added fun of being head over heels. She never used to understand how some people could let their feelings for another person drive them crazy, but it's done more than make her crazy this past week. It made her jealous, obsessive, and somehow happy too, and no one has ever made her feel so many varying emotions in her life.
Her fingertips graze the stretch of skin between where his cargo shorts sit on his hips and his shirt rides up the side of his torso, and he swallows thickly at the feeling.
"Do I make you nervous?" she asks.
Her lilting, smooth voice is enough to soothe any nerves he could possibly have. It's as if hearing her ask that paired with the hand teasing the waistband of his shorts pulled him back to the place he'd been before when she was teasing him over his clothes.
He answers honestly, his head going fuzzy with the crushing desire that courses through him, "Not as nervous as I make you," and closes the space between them again.
The cheeky comment doesn't go unnoticed by her, not one bit. It makes her face heat up in embarrassment that is purely instinct after having to hide her feelings from her for so long. Maybe after they've been together for longer, it won't make her blush every time he acknowledges the effect he has on her out loud, but that day isn't today. Today, she goes hot in the face from a sole second of his attention, let alone this.
JJ lets his hand climb up the length of her torso as they kiss as if they have all the time in the world, as if their best friend isn't sleeping less than twenty feet away from them, until it flattens at the base of her neck. It doesn't curl around her neck and squeeze, nor does it do anything but remind her how much she loves the feeling of him touching her, the large palm of his hand simply stays draped over her throat to flaunt his ability to sway her nerves.
She's pretty sure if it were anyone else, it wouldn't work, but he's JJ for fuck's sake, and the quiet display of dominance sends an exhilarating little thrill rumbling through her. It isn't anything over the top or exaggerated like some people would do in an attempt to stake a claim over the person they love, just a simple gesture that they both know the meaning of.
She's his. After five months of friendship, two months of silent pining, and a week of sexually confused hell, she's his, and he'll never let her forget it.
The wind rattles the windows over the couch with its force and she notices that his hips grind into hers at the sudden sound. Even in the midst of such a heated moment, it's downright cute how he still makes an effort to distract her from what she fears. And, boy, does it work.
Their panting breaths in the brief seconds they allow themselves to break away from each other are the only sounds audible in the small living room. The storm drowns it all out for now, including the noises that start to leave them from the steadily building pleasure of their bodies moving together.
She can feel how hard he is through the layers that separate them with every absentminded thrust that brushes the fabric of her panties up against her clit each time. It leaves her breathless and wondering, despite already knowing, what it'll feel like when he finally slips inside of her again.
They both fantasized about it in the time they spent apart. Neither of them would dare deny it, least of all JJ. It actually became frustrating after a while because she started to become the only scenario he could conjure to get himself off when he had a rare moment of privacy. His fantasies, all stemming from the night that was so perfect, he began to question the reality of it, linger in his head.
The best part of his fantasies were the parts of them based in truth, and if he knows anything about her when she's in this state, it's that she's needy. Her tongue swipes along his bottom lip in a silent urging to let her deepen the kiss, and he complies without a second to spare, willing to entertain her every whim so long as she keeps being so good for him.
He revels in her muffled squeak of a moan when he presses down on the sides of her throat at the precise moment his hips grind down to meet hers. She can't keep herself still for any longer than a half-second, always meeting his movements halfway and unknowingly doing another thing that will be the death of him.
She leads his shirt up his body without having to second guess herself, knowing that he's always on the same wavelength as her no matter what. This was how it was the last time too. Anything she did, he was already one step ahead, and tonight isn't much different. By the time her hands ball up the dripping cotton fabric, JJ is lifting the hand off of her neck to reach for the neckline of the shirt and help tug it off.
There's a sense of urgency in everything they do. Charged up with frustration and jealousy that brewed within the days they spent apart, there's nothing to stop them from reducing themselves to a pair of panting, impatient lovers too consumed in each other to care about the outside world.
The sopping wet fabric is thrown beyond her line of sight and lands on the hardwood floor with a 'thwack' that accompanies their cacophony of moans and gasps, and she whimpers at the sight of him. It may have to do with the fact that he's guiding their bodies together at a cadence and pressure perfect enough to make her legs tremble, but seeing him like this does nothing but aid the sensation.
Golden skin glistening under the candlelight, tendrils of half-dry blonde hair falling into his face with the lazy effort of his movements, and a stray raindrop that squeezed from the wet shirt dripping down his chest...she's not gonna make it out of tonight alive, is she? In her memory, she knew he was a sight to see in the midst of a heated moment, but, fuck, memories do not hold up beside the real experience of it.
Y/N is so caught up in his seemingly endless beauty, she doesn't notice him peeling her damp denim shorts off of her hips until they're halfway down her legs, and the only reason she does notice is because he must shift his position to do it. Suddenly, the budding feeling that stirred from their needy antics is plucked away and left to ache for more in the absence of him between her thighs.
Her middle and index fingers hook around the front of his necklace to pull him back down to her, but he doesn't budge at first. He's too busy trying to rid her of her shirt to care.
It was too much of a distraction while they kissed for him to resist slipping it off of her when he got the chance to. Much to his frustration when he first realized they were trapped with each other, she's braless underneath, and it's only worse now that the t-shirt is soaked to her skin and clinging to every delicate curve.
Once the clothing gives way to the canvas of her bare skin, he submits to her urgency and follows her down by the fingers hooked around his necklace without any qualms.
As soon as they resume, it's as if they never stopped to begin with, and they start to realize how seamlessly they fit together as the seconds elapse. Neither of them are actively thinking about it while he dips his hand into the front of her panties, but it is in their subconscious.
It's a revelation of sorts, an ah-ha moment where it hits them both in a sweeping realization that it was obvious from the day they met. They should've known sooner, they should've dropped their pride and admitted it as soon as the first inklings of desire began to pop up, but they didn't. Instead, it washes over them now and they let the current take them away together.
Her mouth falls open against his cheek at the feeling of his fingers swiping through the arousal that pools in her underwear for him, dragging the wetness over his fingertips and spreading it up to brush fleetingly against her clit. It's a split-second of a touch that it makes her hips lift up off the floor on their own accord to seek out more. It makes her dig her nails into the skin stretching over his taut shoulder muscles in a wordless plea for more that he doesn't indulge her in at first.
He makes her earn it from him without having to say a single word. He touches her, but he doesn't touch where she wants or ease his fingers into her to satisfy the need she feels yet. It's a blessing and a curse that he manages to turn her on to such an extent. He does it for her like nothing else can, so much so that she's noticed a distinct difference in how it feels when she's alone versus when they're together. When she's alone, it can tend to feel like active effort, but when she's with him, it's as natural as the urge to breathe.
His smirk is felt against her skin the entire time she begs for it through the revealing actions of her body—her hips jerking up toward him, her chest pressing tightly to his, and the sound of her murmuring, "Please," in a breathy tone that could stop his heart.
"Tell me what you want," JJ says, every word constrained and tight in a way that tells her he's a lot less composed than he lets on, and "accidentally" swipes his thumb over her clit again. "Talk to me, baby."
She almost forgot in their time apart how much of an effect he has on her, but this is the best reminder of that she could possibly imagine. If she could, she would find a way to bottle the feeling he gives her and keep it with her forever so that, no matter what happens between them, she'll never have the misfortune of forgetting him.
What he said simultaneously melts her heart and frustrates her to no end because he knows! He knows damn well what she wants from him and won't give it to her unless she asks for it, and she hates herself for loving it. She hates herself for enjoying the flushed-face embarrassment it brings to her cheeks to be so open with him about what she needs.
She swallows the lump in her throat and tries to focus through the clouded landscape of her head to speak to him. It's hard to concentrate when he's above her like this, touching her, calling her pet names, and looking at her like that.
With his lips worshiping the sensitive skin along her neck, she finds it hard to choke out the words, "I want you," into the humid air that has infiltrated the house.
It's not a lie. Anything regarding her wanting him or any related feeling is no longer something she can hide anymore, but they both know it isn't exactly what he wanted. No matter how it took his breath away to hear her say it, he was seeking something more specific. He was aiming to make her ask, maybe even beg, for it. They're both too impatient to wait and based on how wet his fingertips are from barely dipping into her, he can tell she's as eager as he is.
It's been thirteen days too long since the last time they allowed themselves to meet this way, and neither of them wants to let it happen again.
She was nearly trembling with the urge to go to him whenever they were together in the company of their friends, unable to think about anything except for how badly she wanted him. All the while, he appeared so unbothered, especially on the night of the party when he flirted with someone else, that she didn't even believe he felt the same way back. Thankfully for her, she couldn't have been more wrong.
He clicks his tongue and says, still teasing her with light touches that never linger in one place for too long, "That wasn't very specific."
Part of her should know that he's about to do something based on how he withdraws his head from its cherished place in the crook of her neck, but she's too caught up in the anticipation and seeing his face for the first time in a minute to think about it. How dare he look so good? She could cry in frustration, although she might actually already be tearing up a little with the rush of neediness hitting her in its full force.
Never has she felt so turned on by so little physical contact before. It usually takes longer for her to get to this point, whether it be alone or in the past with previous partners, yet all it took was being kissed, touched, and being given his undivided attention and now...She realizes she's in trouble. He has her in an emotional and sexual chokehold at this point, and she fears that no one can compare.
"I want—" her voice is snuffed out in an instant when he eases two fingers into her, "Oh!"
So that's why he pulled away from her neck to look at her.
It was worth abandoning the mark forming on her neck just to see the expression on her face shift. She gets this cute look when anything overwhelming starts to happen where her brows scrunch a little to create a soft wrinkle between them as her mouth drops open in a moan. And after ten steady minutes of doing nothing but some over the clothes action and painstaking teasing, this is as overwhelming as it gets without it crossing the line to being too much.
It never occurred to her how much larger his fingers are compared to hers until now. This type of pleasure is like an itch only someone else can scratch to her, she feels virtually nothing when she does it to herself, but when he does it, it's like an explosive being set off inside of her. Especially with the thumb that sneaks up to circle her clit without stopping to tease her again, she is putty in his hands at this point.
Every smooth stroke of his fingers into her reaches a spot she can never quite find on her own, and she can feel the cold bite of rings when they're buried into her to the knuckle.
It's a surprise every time, even when she knows to expect it. Like a delightful chill running up through her body and down her spine exactly how it's intended to. It strikes an idea in her head for when he eventually pulls them out of her, conjuring the image of her sucking them clean for him just for the sake of imagining what it'll do to him.
With that idea tucked away in the back of her mind, he's the center of her world right now. All she breathes, thinks, and feels is him. Whether it be the sight of him, or the feelings he's giving her, or even the taste of his kiss that still lingers on her tongue, it connects to one common thread.
"What were you saying?" JJ asks, and she wants to wipe that smirk right off his face.
It's virtually impossible for her to piece together a coherent thought, let alone a sentence detailing every filthy idea she has for him, but she tries. It takes another moment or two of her succumbing to the rapid incline of pleasure that he gives her, watching her in wonder through any greedy buck of her hips or gasping inhale that makes her head loll back onto the floor.
At first, what she wanted to say was that she wanted him to touch her, to do anything more than the fleeting touches he gave before. Now, she wants more than that. Now that she's drawn in closer to the eventual high that's to come, she doesn't want it to happen like this. She wants to feel closer to him than this, wants to feel him throb inside of her and fuck her with all of the urgency and desperation that has accumulated in their time apart.
That's why her hands start to grab at the belt loops of his shorts to tug him closer by them, meeting his gaze through the hazy bliss of his fingers pumping into her. It's not enough.
"Please"—she keeps pulling him closer to her, so close that there's hardly any space left to cross, and he revels in her desperation—"just fuck me already..."
Internally, JJ is losing his shit.
Though this was what he wanted, what he coaxed out of her with the teasing and the pretend sense of a nonchalant attitude on his part, it hits him harder than he expected it to to hear her say it. It's not necessarily the act of begging itself either, it's the fact that she's the one doing it. She may have been jealous of the girl at the party, but she had nothing to worry about. Not in the slightest.
Before her, he never thought he'd fall for someone this way. It's not like he had a hatred for love or anything, he understood the appeal, it simply wasn't his thing.
He was perfectly content with his only form of companionship being his friends. Then, she came along and changed it. So to hear her say something like that isn't just breathtaking, it's the kind of thing that makes his heart ache for her. It hits him precisely where she wanted it to, and he has never felt as consumed with love the way he does now.
JJ can do nothing to stop himself from pouncing on her at this point, like some animalistic form of himself has worn down the restraint he used to keep himself at bay.
The loss she feels when his fingers slip away from her is an emptiness she mourns at first before she realizes what's happening. He pulls away slightly to reach down between them for the front of his shorts, and their hands clash as they both frantically try to undo them together. The rings adorning his fingers glisten when they catch the light and remind her of the thought that popped into her head when she first felt their coldness against her skin.
That idea paired with the promise of what they're trying to accomplish in their uncoordinated attempt to get the rest of their clothes off makes her want to press her thighs together. Her hands abandon the task of undoing his shorts for the sake of ridding herself of the last layer that separates her from him.
Her most embarrassing old pair of brightly colored panties, courtesy of past Y/N's questionable decision to trust her mom to buy some on her behalf, are hardly a sight to behold. They're the kind that come in a value pack from Walmart, vibrant blue with the word, "Tuesday," printed on the front of them, and she could hide her face into the rug in shame if she weren't so determined to get them off. Of all the days to wear the day of the week undies her mom accidentally got her, of course she chose today.
By the time she reaches for the waistband, he has pushed his shorts and underwear down his thighs and comes back to her with just as much excitement as he left with, but when he helps her tug her panties down her legs, he laughs. Apparently, he had also been too eager to touch her to notice what was written on them before.
"Cute," he breathes out through a laugh, then adds as the cotton fabric slips over her knees, "Pretty sure it's not Tuesday though."
"If you tell anyone, I swear I'll—"
He cuts her off, "Whatever you wanna threaten me with won't work, chances are I'm gonna be into it."
Her eyes are alight with a certain fire he's had yet to fully lure out of her. Even her voice is slightly more airy and seductive as a result of it.
"Promise?"
JJ grins down at her as he finally tosses her panties aside with the rest of their clothes, "Cross my heart, pretty girl."
His hands grip her thighs and tug her down the  rug to him with a quick jolt that snaps them out of the playful nature of their back and forth teasing. No matter how lighthearted of an interruption it was, the mini-conversation might as well have never existed for how easily they fall back into it again.
She watches with her forehead pressed against his as he strokes himself a few times, then drags his tip, messy with precome, through her wet heat. And though she watches it happen, her body still arches into his when he lines up with her and sinks his hips forward.
She anticipated it, but she still gasps and digs her nails into his biceps at the sensation of him pushing into her. Neither of them bothers to worry about the obvious lack of a condom—it was discussed the first time around when he offered and she told him it was okay. He's often the one to silence the alarm on her phone warning her in its title to, "Take your birth control or else, bitch," while she searches her bag for it anyway, so he trusts her.
Both of them prefer it this way enough to risk the  minuscule failure rate of the pill anyway. It's more intimate, closer, and they can both feel the warmth of each other in a way that would've been somewhat muted with an added layer between them. It makes the feeling of him entering her all the more gratifying as she tenses up around him in reaction, drawing a groan from where his parted lips brush against hers.
She lifts her head off of the floor as much as she can to capture his mouth with her own and stifle the sonorous sound despite the storm doing a better job of it.
It seems that every blast of wind and roll of thunder is in their favor tonight, so much so that he isn't even worried about getting walked in on. It's not a thought in his head at this point, the only thought he's capable of having is this. Forgive him for being shortsighted, but he doesn't give a shit if John B notices or hears what's happening when he's buried inside of her so deeply.
His hips are flush with the backs of her thighs in a matter of seconds, and right when he pauses to give her a breather, he feels her shake her head ever so slightly against where their faces are pressed together.
The touch of her hands on his hips is not timid by any means, it's commanding. Her palm prints singe an indelible claim into the surface of his skin as she guides him to start moving without a second spared to dwindle the discomfort of him filling her up. It's less like a pain and more of a pressure blooming from the insistent presence of him, not so overwhelming that it's painful, but it's an effort to breathe evenly and the only thing that'll ease this transitional moment is to continue.
At first, their bodies start to rock together lazily as though on autopilot. They'd hardly be conscious of the fact that they're doing anything if not for the initial sensations of heady ecstasy that flash like the sparks of a lighter in response to their movements. As soon as he felt her hands coax him into action, he sighed happily and surrendered himself to the instinct of wanting to move.
The merging of their bodies is less of the aggressive rutting motions they'll surely succumb to once their current pace is no longer satisfying, but that doesn't make it any less intense. She's partly sure that this is one of the most vulnerable moments either of them has ever had when it comes to sex, and it wouldn't work if it weren't them together. No other person could consume her the way he does, taking up every unoccupied space of her soul until there's nothing left but the silent begging of her heart for him.
Their kiss is messy when it breaks to allow them the chance to suck down a couple breaths of air, saliva shining on his lips in between the seconds it takes them to come crashing back together.
It's loving enough to rot her teeth with its sweetness, a slow but impossibly deep grinding of their hips together that continually presses the tip of him into that sweet spot inside of her, but it takes a turn.
Not only do her hands shift from his hips up to the sides of his waist to get a firmer hold on him, the kiss starts to become vigorous, almost hungry, in search of something more. The dreamlike sequence of the first moment or so they spent slowly fucking under the warm hues of candlelight starts to unravel to reveal the baser instincts that guide them forward.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he whispers the praise into her mouth.
As soon as the words are said, he can feel the effect it has on her. The hands braced on his waist pull his body closer to her at the same moment that she involuntarily squeezes down around him, making the smooth drag of his cock against the velvet-soft heat of her walls even tighter than he thought possible.
The sudden feeling of it makes his first returning thrust much harder than the last. He jerks forward into her with none of the restraint he's retained for the past few moments, and her reaction is nothing short of perfection, at least from his perspective. He watches her throw her head back in a moan, hips bucking to him in pursuit of more, and feels the tips of her fingernails digging crescent-shaped marks into the unmarred skin along his waist.
"JJ!" she gasps in surprise, and if her initial reaction weren't enough to spur him on in a frenzied state of desire, this is.
He almost forgot how intense it had been the first time. Their confessions of love preceding this made them both somewhat softer and sweeter in their approach when they started, but he knows how she likes it.
Nobody would expect it from her. He's another story entirely, especially considering how much John B and Pope know about him, but her? He didn't have any in depth conversations about it with either of them, so none of their friends know how dirty she is.
But when you start to tease it out of her, she's got a side to her that makes his blood run hot. Considering how polite she is, he sure as hell didn't see it coming. For fuck's sake, she's the kind of person who'll apologize to a chair if she bumps into it. With that in mind he never thought she'd be the type to demand such things of him.
Just like that, with one moan of his name, it's like she flipped a switch in him that they forgot was there in the first place. It'll never stop surprising him how little it takes to get him going when he's with her, and he doesn't see that changing no matter how long they spend together in the future. Just a touch from her is all it takes, so it's needless to say that the sound of her calling out his name was more than enough.
Those slow, deep movements he made to sink into her again and again have turned rapid and rough, but still controlled enough to have a semblance of precision to them, hitting in all the right places.
"I bet," JJ speaks lowly, "that you want John B to walk out and see us right now."
She doesn't want to admit how much of an instantaneous effect those words have on her, but the feeling of her clenching around him as she bites back a moan completely betrays her. Partly, she worries that he'll take that the wrong way and think it has something to do with John B when it has nothing to do with him at all, but he doesn't. For the spare second of thought she's allowed to have before her mind goes hazy again, she notes how much more eager he is on the upstroke of the next thrust.
Noticing how right he was in his assumption about her liking the risk of getting caught jumpstarts his heart and makes everything he does rougher. She can sense that he's starting to lose control over himself and is acting on instinct alone.
It makes her much more sensitive to everything he does, and all she can do is cling to him and enjoy it as she takes in everything he says and does. It's hard to pick one thing to focus on between the switch up in pace and what he said.
"You want John B to know you like getting fucked like a slut, don't you?"
She could get off on the sound of his voice alone. Hearing him say stuff like that kills her, it makes the swirling bliss that builds in the pit of her abdomen with every thrust he gives her triple in its extremity.
Her legs are tightly wound around his hips to keep him as near to her as possible, her hands sliding up around his waist to keep a steady grasp on him while he pounds into her. The rug scratches at her back enough to make it sting alongside the immense pleasure building in her, but she doesn't care. When blended with the good sensations, the pain underscores the addictive feeling of him inside of her, fucking her exactly how she asked him too.
Looking up at him when he's like this is simply unreal. There's no other way of describing it in her eyes except for that. He's so stunning, she's inclined to believe that he isn't even real as a means of explaining it. This shouldn't be real. It should be one of her daydreams while she steals covert stares at him as they hang out with the Pogues, but it isn't. She can't wrap her head around it.
Those strands of hair that were damp from the rain are mostly dry as they fall into his eyes with the force of his movements. The sight of him alone, set aside from the rest of it, is enough to make her writhe beneath him and claw at his back in tandem with another thrust that sends her jolting against the rug.
He takes one of his hands up from where they both held her hips for leverage to weave his fingers into the roots of her hair.
He demands between the panting breaths and moans that flood the limited space between them, tugging on her hair, "Answer me."
She instantly blurts out the words, "I want him to see us." The feeling of him tilting her head back by the fistful of hair he has wrapped up in his hand is her persistent reminder to concentrate enough to continue, and she bites down on her lip to contain a moan before speaking again, "I want him to know..."
Her cheeks burn with the mere thought of it, let alone saying it out loud. He's the only person she'd ever let in on this intimate side of her, the side that makes her crazy when she hears him say stuff like this. The reason she feels so comfortable doing this with him is that she knows he understands her. It's as if he can read her mind without even having to try, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it.
It wouldn't matter if the topic of their exhibitionism were any other Pogue or a stranger, it isn't about who it is, it's about the thrill attached to the concept of almost getting seen during such a heated moment. In all actuality, John B is probably snoring face down into his pillow right now with no care for what's happening out here, but he knows what it does to her when they push the boundaries of decency this way. It's the same rush he gets from stealing random, useless things every so often, it's the thrill of getting away with something.
The hand tangled up in the roots of her hair sneaks down between their colliding bodies to rub her clit, and her mouth drops open to take in a shaky breath.
The sight of her beneath him is undoing in and of itself. Head tilted enough to expose her neck to him, chest rising and falling rapidly with her breaths, and breasts bouncing gently with the momentum of their actions—seeing her this way makes his thrusts ramp up into more of a frenzied, uncontainable pace rather than one with the same control and cadence as before. But it's mostly the eye contact that kills him. She doesn't dare to shut her eyes the entire time, as if she can sense that he'll tell her to look at him again the second she does.
"You want him to know what?" he asks, and she knows he won't let her get away with not saying it.
She whines, utterly helpless to the climax starting to build inside of her, "Please."
What she's pleading for, she isn't quite sure, but he can tell by how she's acting that she's starting to get closer, and he wants nothing more than to tease her with the impending chance of her orgasm.
"If you wanna come, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that."
Just like that, he withdraws his hand from between them and leaves her desperate, blindly grasping for the peak she was so close to reaching, she could almost feel it already.
With JJ rocking into her at a relaxed, slower rhythm, the pleasure hasn't disappeared completely. It's there, but she can sense the feeling of her orgasm receding as quickly as it had creeped up on her as soon as he slips his hand out from between them.
It's instantly clear to him how desperate she is as all of her previous shyness surrounding having to admit this to him out loud withers away in seconds. She isn't beneath begging again at this point. He could tell her to crawl across the floor to him and she'd happily do it for the chance of touching him. It's pathetic but true. As much as she has him wrapped around her finger, he has done the same to her and she isn't afraid to admit it anymore.
Her hips jerk toward him in search of the familiar frenzy they were in before that sent her to the brink of climax, but he is impressively stubborn. Despite the fact that it physically pains him to dial it back again, he tries to keep the signs of his own frustration at bay. She knew what she had to say to get what she wants, so he'll only cave when she does.
This time around, she doesn't give a fuck about how badly she blushes or the voice in the back of her mind telling her she should keep this side of her to herself. This time, the one thing she needs to do to prompt her to open her mouth and speak the dirty words he asked her less than a moment ago is look at him. One second of staring up at him and here she is, driven mad enough to say or do anything to get him to pick up where they left off.
She says between the soft noises and breaths coming from them both, clinging to him through every slow but deep thrust that sends sparks ricocheting through her body, "I want John B to know I like getting fucked like slut." Her voice is breathless, and he hangs off of each word as she pauses, looking up at him with a challenging attitude swirling in those pretty eyes. "So stop being a tease and fuck me like one."
His jaw clenches at the bratty statement, one he's too far gone to resist at this point, and right when he's about to respond to her, she speaks again.
"Either that," she says, and a deceptively sweet smile crosses her kiss-swollen lips, "or I can go ask him to—"
She doesn't even get the chance to voice the rest of that thought before he's set into motion.
The hands on her hips flip her over with such casual strength, all she can do is yelp in surprise at the sudden movement that blurs the living room in her peripheral version until she lands with her hands and knees pressing into the rug. He was so swift in pulling out of her and tossing her onto her front like she was nothing more than a rag doll, she hardly had the time to take a breath before she ended up here.
There's hardly any time between when he pulled out to flip her over and when he returns to her again, but it feels like an eternity for them. The few second transition might as well be a few years as she feels his hands guiding her body where he wants it, pushing down on her back until it arches just so, and falls down onto her arms. But as soon as she gets situated, she feels a pair of hands yanking her arms away from where they were braced against the floor and put them behind her back.
It's only then, when he has an unflinching grasp on where he keeps her wrists behind her back with one of his hands, that she is met with the relief of him sinking into her again.
Y/N's jaw goes slack, and she cries out into the rug that her cheek is pressed into as he gives her no chance to adjust or catch her breath before resuming the brutal pace they kept a moment ago. Mentioning anyone else but him doing this to her was the quickest way to get him to snap, so it's safe to say that she's getting what she wanted. After all, she did what he asked, it's fair that she gets rewarded for it.
Amidst the sounds of the storm waging war on the landscape outside of the house, the one thing she can hear over the buzzing pleasure that drowns out her senses is the sinful blend of sounds they create together. It's the sound of their bodies merging, his name falling from her lips, and the curses he makes under his breath that never fail to drive her a little wild.
The hand that isn't holding her arms behind her slides down the length of her curved back until it wraps around her throat to pin her down, and her reaction is everything he could ask for. Seeing her rock back against him to meet him halfway makes his grip on her wrists tighten enough to turn his knuckles white.
Her hair is spread in endless directions in a fan around her head, and he can only see one side of her face from where he kneels behind her, but that glimpse is more than enough. Brows scrunched in pleasure, mouth dropped open in a gape as soft 'uh's and 'ah's escape her on the upstroke of each thrust—she's a mess right now. A beautiful, perfect mess.
"Oh God, JJ," she moans between her rapid breaths and the strong hand constricting her neck, "I'm so close. Please, just let me come."
It took virtually nothing for her to be pushed right back to the edge of the peak she was at less than a minute ago. It took a mere half-minute of this and she's once again reduced to incoherent pleas for more and shaking with no control over herself. Her legs tremble with the effort to keep herself up in this position, and she isn't even the one doing most of the work. In all fairness, this change in position has made the intensity triple. It's deeper this way, and with how harshly he slams into her, it's as though she can feel it in the base of her abdomen.
It's the enjoyable type of pain, however, not the bad type. It'll surely end up with her being sore tomorrow, but she can't hide how much she loves the painful pleasure of how rough it's getting. Being denied an orgasm when she was so, so close to it was initially disappointing too, but it was worth it. If the build up to what would've been her climax before was a spark, this is a flourishing fire spreading through her with no chance of smothering the flames.
He lets go of her throat and taps the side of her jaw in a silent request that she picks up immediately, letting her lips fall open to suck his fingers into her mouth without a second of hesitation.
The taste of her arousal on them is faint, but still there, and it occurs to her that she thought about this earlier before things evolved into chaos. Her tongue swirls around the tips of his fingers as he starts to pull them away in what feels like the blink of an eye to her, leaving him to remember what it felt like when her lips were once wrapped around a more sensitive part of him a week and a half ago.
The one other time he let himself remember it was when they were on the boat with the Pogues, yet that wasn't really of his own volition. It was hot out, so Kiara bought ice pops for them and his mind wandered far from where it should've stayed.
Shining with her saliva, his fingers are pulled from her lips with a soft 'pop' in pursuit of that sensitive collection of nerves at the apex of her thighs. She just needs is a little push to go over the edge, and when he slips his hand down her body to rub tight circles onto her clit, she loses whatever remnants of control over herself she had left.
The steady rhythm of her hips moving back against him falters as she is overwhelmed with the separate sensations culminating into one and giving her the push she needs to come. Her entire body tenses up in anticipation, and since she's pinned to the floor with her hands behind her back, she can only lay there and savor the feeling as it hits her.
After what felt like ages of having it build and build within her, then having it taken away to start the process over again, finally being given a release is a relief beyond any she's felt before.
It's so consuming, it takes away her ability to think of anything outside of how it feels to dissolve into the shockwaves of euphoria rushing through her. Every pulsing wave is prolonged by him, not even through the peak of it does he let up on his precise touches and unforgiving thrusts into her that turn a typical orgasm into the most intense thing she's ever felt.
She's melting in his arms through it all, and as if the change in position didn't make it worse, her involuntary spasms leave him hanging on by a thread.
JJ collapses onto her, barely having the chance to keep himself propped up on his arms as he lets go of her wrists and falls forward onto her sweat-slick back.
The heat of his panting exhales raises goosebumps in its wake where his face is buried into the curve of her neck, and he whines at the impossibly tight feeling of her squeezing around his cock through the end of her climax. Those sounds he doesn't realize he's making have her writhing through the aftershocks, answering with a sound of her own that almost makes him come instantly.
For that reason, he makes the decision to pull out and flip her onto her back.
At this point, she's so dazed and fucked out that she doesn't register any of it until she notices the hollow absence of him inside of her, but it doesn't matter when his face appears through the partial darkness above her.
Despite how sensitive she is right now, the sight of him makes her hands reach out blindly to pull him closer again. They're frantic in their need to get back to one another, grasping and clawing until he finds his way back to her in less than a second, hiking her legs up around his waist with a touch that is somehow demanding and tender at the same time.
It's only when he's inside of her again that it occurs to her why he rolled her onto her back again, and it makes her want to kiss him until her lips turn numb. It may be undeniably hotter to pin someone down and fuck them hoarse, but, no, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be able to look at her, to see her face, and the thought of that has her biting back a sudden confession of love. She isn't sure why she doesn't say it right away, since it isn't like they haven't already done it, but she keeps it to herself for a second first.
It's different now. It's not less passionate or frenetic. It isn't as if he isn't being as rough with her as he was before, but they can both sense a shift in the energy between them as soon as he reenters her. It's less about the pursuit of pleasure and more about the feelings they've kept hidden away for so long. It's a simultaneous realization that hits them a little late after they initially confessed their feelings for each other: this is reality. It's real, and when she touches him this time, he isn't going to disappear if she opens her eyes.
The realization of what happened tonight had yet to hit them until right this second, but now that it has, they move forward with a sense of sentimentality that remained partly dormant before.
If there's anything JJ dislikes, it's being vulnerable. The idea of letting someone in to see every part of him, including the parts he doesn't want to see of himself, has always terrified him after years of being made to believe he's undeserving, yet he isn't uncomfortable right now. Somehow, he feels safe with her. Sex has never been something so emotional for him until now, until her, and he doesn't want it differently.
Their bodies are drawn in close, her arms thrown around his neck, and he's so close, he can feel the muscles leading down past his lower abdomen contract with the inevitable approach of his orgasm. She can sense it too in how he acts.
When he gets close, he becomes clingier and lets his feelings get the better of him. His hands squeeze at her hips, sliding up her sides and back down to hike one of her legs up high around his waist to press deeper into her. He can't bear to allow his touch to stay in one place for too long before exploring another part of her, wanting to memorize the delicate intricacies of her body in its entirety.
It's as if she can read his mind too, cause even when she's sensitive enough to gasp when he pushes her thigh to her chest and throws his remaining energy into fucking her at a satisfying pace, she understands what he needs. She knows to reach up and run her fingers through his hair, to tug on it gently until the light strands are taut from his scalp. She knows to lift her head off of the floor enough to trail tender kisses along his face, his jaw, his neck—anywhere she can access.
"Come for me," she says into a kiss placed on the edge of his cheekbone, reeling in overstimulation as she jolts with his quickening thrusts, "I want to watch you..."
Hearing those words, paired with the kisses and fingers pulling on his hair, does it for him. It doesn't take more for his hips to falter and jerk forward into her a final few times before he comes.
Their foreheads press together as they cling to one another for stability, though it's mostly JJ clinging to her while she watches in adoration, and she has to bite her lip to contain a moan at how it feels. The aftershocks of her orgasm have yet to fade as the feeling of pulsing warmth inside of her makes them stronger, reigniting the fire she felt a moment ago if only for a second.
There's a closeness to this situation that they hadn't felt the last time, and they know it has everything to do with what was said before this happened. The sex itself feels like a dream sequence in her mind now that she's coming down from it with him, moving together slowly and gently beneath the candlelight until they ride out the ends of their highs. It was like they were put under a trance by each other, and now that it's over, the first thoughts that come to mind are of what comes next.
It's not the sole topic on their minds though. They're more focused on catching their breath from where they lay, tangled up together, on the living room floor. As soon as the very last of his orgasm faded from him, he fell onto her without a single ounce of energy left to spare. He's careful not to crush her, but, for the most part, he relaxes on top of her and lets his head rest on her heaving chest.
Strong arms slip down to loop around her waist, and she sure that she couldn't get him to release her if she wanted to, which she doesn't.
But they can't stay like this, not for any longer than a few moments anyway, since they don't know how if John B might wake up and come out of the safety of his bedroom after hours of leaving them to their own devices. JJ was right. He's out cold, but for as much as it turned them on in the heat of the moment, neither of them finds getting caught by him as hot with the clarity of their rational minds coming back to them.
He's the one to break the silence.
"As much as I wanna stay like this, we should probably move in case John B wakes up."
The sound of his voice settles in her with the effects of a sedative. It calms her more than anything else could, especially with the added comfort of him cuddling her so closely. One of her hands strokes through his hair and pushes the damp tendrils of sunshine away from his face as he cranes his neck to look up at her. And, for fuck's sake, what else is she to do except admire him?
His cheeks are dusted pink in a way they often are when he spends too much time outside without one of his hats shielding his face, and she thinks he's never looked better.
Ever since they became friends, she's had this theory about him. In the unrealistic landscape of her overactive imagination, JJ didn't come to this world the way the rest of them did. To her, it seems impossible that someone so good, even in his worst moments, could've come from someone like his dad.
So, in idle moments where she would watch him on a day out with the Pogues or daydream about him, she decided that he's the sun.
She imagines he was created in those breathtaking but brief moments where the sun meets the horizon atop the ocean and washes the sky with a vast array of colors. She likes to think he's the incarnation of it. Golden, warm, and bright for everyone but himself, he keeps the world light for her and their friends without intending to.
Some days are warmer than others too. Some days, the light is dimmed by another bruise beneath his clothes or a bad run-in with some kooks, but today is not like that. This moment is eighty-five and sunny with a balmy breeze. Looking at him right now feels like basking in the sun, and she'd burn here forever if he let her.
Without realizing she zoned out, she jolts when he pinches her arm to rouse her from her ridiculous thoughts. He has this dopey half-smile on his face that nearly draws her back into them again.
"You know what they say," he says, "if you take a picture..."
Her soft laughter invades the room, filling his heart with this light, fluttery feeling that always finds him when she's near. His smile grows as she playfully shoves him and reaches above their heads for her wet shirt to cover up with just in case. Odds are, their friend isn't waking up at the exact moment before they seclude themselves to the spare room and get dressed, but she doesn't wanna take that chance.
"I wasn't staring."
She was totally staring. But who could blame her? When someone looks at a person the way he looks at her, how could they ever stay away?
"Whatever you say."
JJ keeps smiling to himself while he pulls his underwear and shorts up his legs and waits for her to be decent enough to sneak past John B's bedroom to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.
The clothes are soaked through with rainwater, so they feel quite uncomfortable to slip back on, but they merely redress enough to be covered. She stole his shirt to avoid putting her shorts back on, the hem of the grey tee hanging right at the tops of her thighs when she walks. As soon as she slips her panties back on and picks up the rest of their cold, wet clothes, that's the cue he needs to scoop her up and take her away.
Y/N curses under her breath in surprise at feeling her feet being plucked off the ground, but she relaxes again once she's settled in his arms, realizing that it was just him who snuck up behind her and lifted her into his arms.
She doesn't say anything on the way to the bathroom. Instead, she lays her head on his shoulder in exhaustion and finds herself staring at the mark she left behind on his neck.
It's a deep, purplish red against the backdrop of his tan skin...the Pogues will surely notice the next time they see him. And while it will make her blush, it won't make her scared as it once would've. There may be a lingering sense of doubt and insecurity within her, but she wants this with him. Even if it means being teased by their friends or dealing with the jealousy of watching kook girls and tourons at parties hit on him, she wants this.
By the time the shower is spraying the rainwater from her hair and washing her clean of sweat sticking to her skin, she realizes that he isn't saying anything either, but she doesn't think it's out of any awkwardness or miscommunication. There's truly nothing to say, at least for now.
Though they didn't have the chance to talk in depth about everything yet, neither of them thinks of that right now. All they know is that they're together, whether it be officially or not, and it feels good. For once, something in his life feels right, and he lets himself enjoy it in silence.
The shower is a cramped space when shared between them and the wet clothes they have draped over the back edge of the tub, but they make it work. It's not like they mind anyway.
They bump into one another whenever they do so much as breathe, and the white walls echo the sounds of her giggling when he tries to tickle her. She leans her head back against his chest and lets out a laugh with shampoo dripping down the front of her face, and he'll be damned if he ever heard a sound as intoxicating as that.
It's a little weird. He's never been as soft and loving with a person before, and he has already felt overwhelmed in the lulls of quiet between them when he's given the chance to think about it.
When she washes his hair for him, insisting that she must return the favor after he so kindly washed hers, he was struck with the same mixture of wanting to simultaneously lean into and pull away from her that he felt the night of the party.
The warmth of the water loosens his sore muscles, washing suds of the green apple scented shampoo over his shoulders and down, down, down until it circles the drain beside his feet. All the while, her fingertips are delicately tracing over a healing bruise on his torso. Those pretty lips of hers are painted in a suppressed frown that she can't hide from him.
"Are you okay?" Y/N asks.
His instant reaction is to fake a smile, to brush it off and distract her as he usually does, yet he doesn't. He forces himself to remain neutral and not push her away.
"Happens all the time," he murmurs, shrugging and averting his eyes to reach for the soap off on the ledge.
The hands holding either side of his waist tighten as he tries to turn, pulling him back to her with more strength than he knew to anticipate from her. Their chests gently collide back together beneath the stream of water, and she can feel his breathing catch for a second or so in response.
The fact that their relationship has changed doesn't change how she handles this aspect of his life. Their new confessions don't have an impact on the part of his life he never wants to let anyone see, so she isn't going to force him to talk about it because they're trying out this whole relationship thing now. He has hard boundaries that she knows not to push sometimes. That's the way it is, and it might change as they grow closer but she knows to accept it for the moment.
As soon as he hears what she has to say next, he could crumble in relief at the realization that their new dynamic doesn't change anything.
"I didn't necessarily mean...that...I meant generally, you know? It's just that—" she sighs, "you shrink away a little when I hold you, and I wondered if I was making you uncomfortable."
Before she could finish the sentence, JJ was already thinking of what to say to prove her wrong, because that's not it. That's not what it is, and if she thinks she's done anything wrong, he'll do anything to convince her otherwise because it isn't her. It's him.
It's his dad lingering in the darker trenches of his mind, commanding his fear and attention so that even when he isn't physically present, he's still here. Part of why he denied wanting her was because he knew these types of things would arise in the beginning, that there would be difficult adjustments to make and conversations to be had, and he didn't want her to leave him as soon as she was faced with one of these things.
He shakes his head.
"You didn't do anything."
The feeing of her chest rising and falling with his begins to steady him after a moment of allowing the initial hesitation to dissolve. His internal reaction to her touch is the mental incarnation of a flinch. It's him waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting her to do something, to hurt him, before his mind catches up with his heart. But once he realizes everything's okay, he loves it.
"It's kinda embarrassing, but I guess when you touch me, I'm expecting something else," he says softly, scared that if he speaks too loudly, everyone in the world will know how weak he feels.
She should've figured, but hearing him say it is different than wondering what the reasoning behind it is. Hearing him admit it after months of strict avoidance on the topic is a sucker punch to the gut.
Both times they had sex, he was too distracted and thoughtless to get caught up in that part of himself, but it's when the bliss of the afterglow disappears that it creeps back in. That's why he could always handle touch when it came in that context. It was his way of obtaining what he wanted without having to face this side of it—a temporary fix to a greater web of issues.
But there's nothing temporary about her. He doesn't want her to leave him, not without him resisting the urge to beg her on his knees to stay and at least remain his friend, so there's no choice but to face these momentary challenges head on.
She pauses for a second, thinking, then says, "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, I get it. We'll just have to take it day by day then. We can take it slow, and you'll let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?"
It's hard not to be shocked by how well she's taking it. A lot of people probably wouldn't feel too great after someone they love tells them they expect to be hit whenever they touch them, yet she's taking it in stride.
Things are back to normal as soon as she sees the grin on his face.
"So, you're saying you're gonna be trying not to throw yourself at me all the time?" JJ asks, then clicks his tongue as though in thought. "I give you a week. Tops."
Her eyes go wide as she looks at him. She holds her hand over her heart as she pretends to be scandalized by such an accusation, but they know it's true. They both can't keep their hands off of one another, which is why it confuses him. How can he want to reject and enjoy her touch at the same time? Sure, the discomfort disappears after the first split-second, but the fact that it happens in the first place annoys him to no end.
She rolls her eyes and tries to hide the fact that she's giggling as she reaches for the soap.
"You're a little shit, you know that?"
He doesn't miss a beat, saying back, "Yeah but I'm your little shit, so I feel like that says more about you than it does me."
While he's too busy rinsing the rest of the shampoo out of his hair, she smiles to herself at what he said.
Hers.
Nobody has ever been hers before, or proclaimed themselves as belonging to her as proudly and casually as he just did, and her heart melts over the sweet sentiment he didn't think twice about.
Less than a day ago, she was agonizing over her relationship with him and trying to ignore how powerful those feelings for him were, and now they're here. She no longer has to steal glances when he looks away or hide how jealous she feels when other girls flirt with him. To finally let the tension disappear is an immense weight off of her shoulders.
The rest of the shower is as quiet as the start of it was, and that comfortable silence continues through from when they're drying off and redressing to when they hit the mattress in the spare bedroom with tired sighs.
After the day they had, the mere suggestion of sleep is enough to make them start yawning, so being able to slip beneath the sheets and rest their heads almost sings her to sleep instantly.
Their bodies are laying in the exact outlines of where they laid the night of the party, the only difference this time being their mindsets. This time around, they aren't holding themselves back from anything, and it's most evident in the little things. Like how she doesn't turn around to shield her face from him, instead laying with her head propped on the other end of his favorite pillow.
They're so close, their noses brush if they make any slight movements, and this would be enough for him to submit to the urge to drift into sleep if not for the fact that he feels her jolt when thunder rumbles loudly outside of the window.
Much like his own fears being pushed to the side amidst their desire for each other, her anxiety about the storm wasn't on her mind until they laid down to sleep.
She was so wrapped up in him and everything that happened between them that she didn't have the time to think again until now, until she hears the violent patter of rain against the roof and feels her stomach drop at the sound of the thunder. Suddenly, she's not the one reassuring him about his fearful reactions, it's the other way around.
His warm hand takes hers, snatching it up as though he's worried it'll disappear if he doesn't take it quickly enough, and she lets him. Her eyes flutter shut with the release of a slow, deep breath, and she lets the presence of his hand in hers bring her back to earth.
JJ asks into the darkness, "Can I take you out on a real date?" After a beat of silence, the comforting sound of his voice returns to her. "Not that this isn't fun, but I think you deserve a little more effort than John B's living room floor."
A short-lived chuckle escapes her—a win as far as he's concerned. It's difficult to lure her head from the clouds when she gets this way, and it isn't like he has much experience with calming her during these moments either, but that sounded good to him. It sounded like she wasn't thinking about the increased pace of her heart or the howling wind outside.
He was planning on asking anyway. However fitting of a first night together this was, he wants to take her out for real sometime soon. He doesn't have much money for it, like at all, but they can come up with something special together, even if it's similar to the same shit they usually do together. As long as it's time alone together, they don't necessarily care if it's a perfectly traditional first date.
The tip of his thumb rubs comforting circles onto the back of her hand in the brief time it takes her to respond, stroking the soft skin as if to tell her that everything's okay. It seems to say, I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you. And it might make her crazy, but she believes him. JJ could take her back out into the eye of the hurricane at this very moment and she'd still believe his unspoken promise of not letting her into harm's way.
"Of course," she says, then pauses, and the sound of her sleepy voice hardly reaches his ears when she speaks again, "...I'm sorry I avoided you for the past few days. I was scared to tell you how I felt but I shouldn't have left that morning."
The memory of waking up in his arms is fresh in the forefront of her mind, so much so that she can remember the way his breath felt where it exhaled in warm puffs onto her skin.
In the first few moments of consciousness, it was peaceful.
She laid awake for a minute or two to count his breaths and soak in the comfort of being cuddled up next to him, wishing she could stay there for hours. It wasn't until another moment passed that it clicked with her where she was and what was going on between them recently, and that was what prompted her to slip away from the bed to get ready for her day at work.
It was the second time in a row that she left him in that bed with nothing to wake up to but the cold absence of her body between the sheets he slept under, and he can't deny that it's part of why he holds onto her hand so tightly tonight. Even though she's promised him otherwise, he can't help but think she'll be gone by the time he wakes up. At this point, he's struggling to stay conscious. She can see those pretty eyes drooping more and more by the second, yet the hand holding hers doesn't loosen its grip.
He takes a deep breath and scoots closer to her, keeping his one hand in hers while the other arm drapes itself over her waist, and he can feel her relax into the touch.
"It's okay," he says.
It's easier for him to adjust to so much physical contact when he's the one initiating. He knows that's why she only reached out to hold his hand. If she had it her way, she would've already been cuddling with him as soon as they laid down, but he likes that she gives him the space to initiate it. In the ways it counts the most, she cares about him more than anyone else has.
The touch in itself is his way of accepting her apology. However, truth be told, he already forgave her for it before knowing his love was reciprocated could be a possibility.
Right when she's about to fall asleep, the screen door slamming open and shut with the wind on the back porch makes her whip her head around to look over her shoulder in the direction of the sound. It seems like every time he successfully distracts her from it, the storm finds new ways of reminding her of what's happening outside of the safety of the Chateau.
There's the sound of a barely audible, sharp inhale, then her whispering into the dark room as she looks at the closed door, "I can't believe I went out into that. What the fuck was I thinking?"
It's beginning to close in on her again; the sounds of the storm, the sense of being trapped no matter how safe they truly are, and the rising tidal wave of anxiety that picks up speed the more she tries to will it to stop. This is the part where she tries to relieve it in some way, usually by smoking weed to sleep or going to one of her parents so they can help her through it, but she can't help herself right now.
Debris was being picked and tossed around in the wind like it weighed nothing when she was out there, she could've been knocked into the marsh or struck by a piece of debris.
How could she be so stupid?
Not only could she have hurt herself, she could've hurt JJ knowing that he'd likely follow her out into the storm to bring her back inside, and the thought of him being hurt makes the tension in her chest heavier. Her breathing picks up speed, the anxiety starting to snowball out of control when—
"Hey, look at me," JJ says, reaching up to turn her head to face him, and she damn near crumbles in relief at feeling his hand cup her cheek. It doesn't make it all disappear, but it provides a momentary comfort that she doesn't take for granted. "You're safe here. You know damn well I'll do anything to protect you. I mean, shit, dude, if I have to go out there and tell that rain to fuck off, I will."
This draws out a laugh from her, chest stuttering with the happy sound through the tears glistening in her eyes, and he never wants to stop hearing it. His thumb swipes away the first teardrop that falls before it can slip over the apples of her cheeks. I'm Her quiet cries and shaky breaths continue for a while after the laughter disappears. For a second or two, he watches with his thumb still wiping her tears away and hopes that it'll be enough to comfort her, but it can't do it completely.
He pulls away from her to get up from the bed with an idea popping into his mind, but upon hearing her whine at the loss of contact with him, he pauses to say, "I'll be back quick, don't worry."
The remaining humorous side of her left wonders if he's actually gonna go tell the rain to fuck off, but he's just opening the bedroom door to trot out into the living room.
A candle burning on the coffee table illuminates the space for him, guiding him straight to the forgotten backpack she left slumped against the arm of the couch hours before their relationship was changed for the better. It takes him an instant to get there and back with the bag in hand, and he's digging through it for a second before climbing back into bed with her.
If anyone else rifled through her bag, sifted through her personal belongings, and dug her phone out of it, she'd probably be annoyed, but she never is with him. She's inherently protective of her things, but JJ can do whatever he wants and it has always been that way. It should've been the first warning of what was to come.
He pulls the sheet back over his body and scoots up close to her, trying to resist the urge to retreat at first when he maneuvers her to lay with her head on his shoulder. It should trigger the flight or fight response that often alarms in his head, but he's able to push it away.
She's so vulnerable right now, so gentle and in need of the warmth of another person that he isn't as intimidated. It's not that she couldn't hurt him if she wanted to right now, she could, but he knows her. He knows that the last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt him, so he has to remind himself of that and give himself the permission to enjoy the physical intimacy of her touch. The part of him that questions if he even deserves it can't reach him now, not when he's so focused on her.
"Thumb?" he asks with the phone held out expectantly.
The screen is less than two inches from her face, so she has to push it back slightly, but she flattens her thumb to the button without further hesitation.
When he unwraps the pair of headphones from around the palm of his hand and plugs them into the charging port, she realizes why he left in the first place.
When she was facing away from him, eyes shut and headphones in to distract herself with music earlier, he was stealing glances at her every so often. He tried to keep away from her for the most part. It was difficult though, especially knowing what she said about being jealous the night of the party and knowing how scared she was of the hurricane. He couldn't help but keep an eye on her, for both his own selfish needs and his worry for her.
He keeps an arm tucked around her, pressing her body into his while he pops one of the headphones into her ear and the other into his. The thing is, her eyes aren't trained on the screen like his are once he starts looking through her vast collection of not-so-legally acquired music for a song that suits both of their tastes, they're trained on him.
Their taste in music tends to diverge in certain ways and overlap in others, so there's always a fifty/fifty shot of him liking what she plays when she's the one picking the music. That is why he smiles to himself and halts the endless scrolling in its tracks to hover his thumb over one song.
He obviously heard it before she played it that one time, but it's different for him now. They were riding together in the backseat of the Twinkie on the way to the beach with John B, Kie, and Pope when they let her take her turn to play a song.
That's how it is with them, the driver goes first, then it goes to the front seat passenger, and so on and so on until they make their way back to the beginning of the rotation. It was her turn when she picked this song, and it could've been the song, or the sunset shining through the window, but he felt as though his heart exploded when he looked at her in the middle of it.
He remembers feeling confused, confused as to why he couldn't catch his breath and why he suddenly adored the song he only heard casually a couple of times.
It was her. It was everything about her. The soft hum of her voice murmuring the lyrics, too shy to actually sing them in the presence of anyone else, was too delicate for the others to appreciate over the sounds of the van. He heard it though. He clung to it and admired her, so unashamed in his staring that he didn't realize he was doing it. It wasn't until she noticed that he stopped.
"Do I still have ice cream on my face or something?"
Her fingers came up to wipe at the corner over her mouth, and the action sent him turning his attention away quicker than he knew he could move, pulling the lighter out of his pocket to fiddle with as he mumbled, "Yeah, but you got it off now."
The cheery melody of Just Like Heaven bursts out of each headphone into their ears.
How did he know? How is he constantly reading her mind without realizing it?
This was her first song on the couch that she couldn't stand to sit through without thinking, naturally, of him when confronted with the topic of love. Somehow, it's like he knew that, and instead of feeling exposed and scared he'll know her feelings like before, she feels loved.
She is never skipping this song again.
"Go to sleep," he murmurs, clicking the screen off and resting it on his stomach.
It takes him a short thirty seconds to fall into an easy, calm pattern of breathing that tells her he isn't asleep, but soon will be. But she's fighting her sleepiness to continue looking at him. His eyes are fluttered shut, hair messy on the pillow, and she'd want to reach up to kiss him if he weren't trying to fall asleep.
Instead, she settles for matching her quickened breaths to the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath her hand and shuts her eyes along with him.
By the time the song reaches its end, she thinks he's asleep, but she still whispers, "Thank you," and feels his arm squeeze around her body in response.
The next songs fade into white noise at this point for her, drowning out the storm to the point where she begins to forget it's happening out there.
Maybe they can be each other's safe place when things get rough. After all, he handled this wonderfully considering his lack of experience with her anxiety and she never pushes him on his plethora of unsorted issues, even when she wants so badly to be the one to initiate the touch.
She never makes him think she pities him, or wants to "fix" him like so many partners with savior complexes who will never try to understand how it feels often do in these situations. With each other, maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated anymore, even when they have those inevitable arguments here or there.
The last thing he does before allowing himself to be dragged under is brush his lips on her forehead in a tender kiss. And when he eventually wakes to the rising sun shining through the windows in the aftermath of the violent hurricane, she's still there.
Tag List: @jjjmaybank, @its-simply-fanfiction, @naughtydild0swaggins.
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gaiuswrites · 3 years ago
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Ashore
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Part one | Open Waters
Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem!Reader
Summary: You and Frankie leave the beach with only one thing on your minds.
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 3.6k~
Warnings/tags: smut, ✨butt stuff✨, oral (f receiving), some lovey-dovey shit
Notes: Here we are friends. You don’t necessarily have to read Open Waters to understand the contents of this chapter (considering it’s mostly just booty bumpin’). You can thank heathens @javierpcna and @whataperfectwasteoftime for the debauchery to follow. It’s been a while since I’ve written and I’m genuinely nervous to post this lol but alas. We have arrived. Is it shit? Is it pure filth? Who’s to say hehehe. Cheers bebes x
Masterlist | read it on ao3!
The worst part was, you had to get gas.
Frankie drives. You sit beside him.
The return trip is hushed with anticipation—with sullied stain-glass imagery occupying the void. You've said next to nothing since you packed into the car; the only noise comes from the radio—the preset station phasing in and out as you wind along the backroads leading away from the shore—Journey, Jimi, Led Zep and the like all crackling dry through the speakers.
Everything, each micro-movement, feels stifling— like burning ants under a magnifying glass— each gesture riddled with intention, Frankie’s words echoing clear in the caverns of your mind.
He glances left right at an intersection.
‘Anything?’
He flips on the turn signal, blinking one two one two one two.
‘You gonna let me have your tight little ass?’
He steers the wheel with the heel of his palm.
‘When I cum, it’s gonna be here—filling you up.’
The engine rumbles as you idle at a red light—stalling. Dawdling. The sun spills lazily from the horizon, draining the last of the afternoon’s light with it, bleeding the sky scarlet—emboldening the horizon— and you watch as the setting glow catches the hair on his arm—there, resting on the console between you. His hand fists over the gear, knuckles creasing as they tense around the worn, leathered head. You’re playing a game—a silent, ruleless game. You know he can sense you observing him, can feel the heat of your gaze weigh on the flex of his fingers—the same fingers that had ripped an orgasm out of you not two hours before.
You almost unbuckle your damn seatbelt and fly out of your chair. You nearly break with it, with the unspoken tension filling the car like gas and fuck, how you crave him; how you yearn to put those fingers in your mouth and suck—lave the summer clean off his digits and bob around the long width and—
The light turns green.
Frankie resumes his hand to the wheel, your lewd fantasy dissipating along with it.
It’s minuscule. You would have missed it save the fact that you’re so acutely aware of every fucking breath you two share in the aluminum confines of your old Jeep. It’s a subtle thing: Frankie adjusts his hips— innocent enough— but your eyes flicker over to find the groin of his drying swim trunks tented.
You’re not ashamed to say it— your mouth fucking waters, you salivate— and as if on cue, he squirms again, seeking relief from both the blood rushing south and the blister of your stare. His lips part— the rasp of an inhale as he prepares to speak—before his focus is torn down to the dashboard, an orange symbol popping up in the gauge stealing his attention.
“Shit,” Frankie mumbles under his breath. Looking around, he scans for a nearby station and groans at the realization that he’s just passed one, spotting it in the rearview mirror. “Shit.”
You swivel towards the passenger side window, attempting to hide the I told you so expression pulling wry at your mouth. Not that you’ll hang it over him, but you did inform Frankie that the tank was empty on the way to the beach. You hear another muffled curse come from the man beside you, and the world goes topsy-turvy and reverses itself— the act of Frankie making a grumbled U-turn.
He puts the gear into park with a huff, Van Halen’s solo abruptly cut short mid chord.
The car door opens with a rusty squeal and Frankie clambers out, fishing his wallet from his back pocket and swiping his card through the reader at the pump—but not before he squeezes a palm into the plush of your thigh, thumb searing like a brand into your skin. I’ll be quick.
Fuck, you could have cum right then.
Your gaze follows his movements, dogging after him as he waits on the gas to fill— arms folded across his chest, strong build leaning on the frame of your car.
It’s not a novel concept to you, but God is that man broad. The ratty t-shirt he wears clings to him, pulled taut between the plane of his shoulders, the cut of his tricep apparent even from your vantage point; the corded muscle running up his neck flashing as he watches the digital numbers on the screen tick higher.
Shit, you’re aching for him— you can feel yourself throb into the crotch of your swimsuit. You’d have him right here—in the backseat, steaming up the glass— if it weren’t for the overencumbered bags and rickety beach chairs crowding the space.
With herculean effort, you wrench your eyes off him in search of a distraction, letting them drift to the dark flooring of the car. It’s been dirtied—white flecks speckling the interior—and you won’t be able to get the sand out of the matted carpets for weeks. It’s a nuisance, to be sure, but you have to admit that you’re sort of fond of it; little memories, vestiges in the grains, lingering long after the season ends.
Hello, remember me? each granule chirped, remember when we laughed giddy for hours, maddened by the grace of the sun? Remember when we burned red that time we forgot sunscreen? Remember when we bought soft serve from the surf shack and it globbed sticky down our wrists? Remember when we when we when when when…
Frankie, ever practical, hates it. It’s a pain in the ass, he’s told you, regaling you with the woes only a mechanic would care to know. It ruins the upholstery.
You’ve had your exchanges about the topic—your faux-squabbled back and forths—and yet despite himself, he can’t help but like that you like it. Conceptually, he gets it—it annoys him to kingdom fucking come and he’ll almost certainly take the vacuum to the mats first thing tomorrow, but he understands. He understands it.
He understands you.
You’re like that, you and him. You’re different. You are made of different things, a compository of fractures and fragments. Mosaic tiles. You don’t quite fit—not all of you—but you never force the pieces into any sort of place. You admire each other’s mismatched bits, those sweetly quilted jigsaws, and you hold each one up to the light and point at the unique curves, the notches and swoops there, and say I love you, I love this, I love this too.
When Frankie keys up the ignition and puts the car in drive, he keeps his hand on your lap. Arm resting over the median dividing you, calloused palm sealing over your quad, his fingertips knead a pulse into the meat of your leg with each bump in the poorly paved road— a reminder. A vow. Almost home.
You think he does it just to torture you.
It fucking works.
/
The sound of laughter parts the front door as you enter— Frankie had made some colorful comment about your absolute favorite neighbors, the ones who always leave their damn garbage bins in front of your driveway— and your key ring clatters as it hits the bowl on the side table.
You discard the bags, plopping the sandy things down in the entryway, and kick off your sandals— bare soles padding along lacquered wood paneling as you head to the kitchen for some much needed water.
The sound of the tap running camouflages Frankie’s movement, you don’t hear him behind you. He’s got stealth in him, harbored there from before. He’s light on his feet when he chooses to be—nimble-like, bordering on feline—and you startle with a bubbly chuckle when you spin around to discover him far closer than you anticipated.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping us hydrated,” you grin, as if it were obvious. You’re welcome.
He hums, the note rumbling against the cage of his ribs, and lessens the distance between you with a single stride. “That can wait.”
He rids you of the glasses, hurriedly placing them on the counter, and meets you in a kiss—and fuck can that man kiss. Frankie, like with all things, is responsive—attentive. His lips are fever-laced and wanton, and he roves against yours like they’re designed to— fated for no one else’s but your own— nipping and tonguing at your honeyed whines, orphaned there in the well of your mouth.
His hands vine up your body, so deprived of the luxury of your form - of touch - and he grabs at anything he can— your hips, your waist, your breasts through the cotton of your shirt— their half moon curves sitting ripe in his palms.
After ushering you up to the countertop, he strips you of your jean shorts, your bikini bottom sloughing down your calves along with them, and hoists your feet onto the fake granite, prying your legs wide for him.
When he gets an eyeful of your gleaming pussy, pearled with arousal, the wind gets punched straight out of him.
“Jesus honey,” he groans, “you been like this the whole ride home?”
Your brain is numb, lagging with lust. You don’t trust your voice to speak—all you can do is nod.
“Poor thing,” he simpers. “Poor pretty thing, all wound up for me—all wet.”
You whimper at his tone—graveled, just shy of condescending—and your knees weaken shut before he snatches them apart.
“Sit still.”
It’s a command, there’s no room for disobedience; he orders it with a soldier's voice—that dead thing he wears like dog tags around his neck. Vice grip widening your legs, Frankie sinks down onto his shins, head leveled with your core, engrossed with the sight of your damp sex quivering.
Blotchy warmth creeps up your neck, like ivy crawling over brick.
He’s staring at you— hungry and possessed and simply staring at your open cunt and you begin to fidget once more—riling under his umbered appraisal.
“Sit still baby girl,” he murmurs, softer now and desperate too—intoxicated with the heady perfume of your heat. “Lemme just— fuck, I gotta taste you…”
When he swipes the deft muscle of his tongue through your slit, your head careens back onto the cabinets, plates and bowls rattling behind the wood.
Oh god, Frankie.
He’s got a talent for this— an excruciating, body wracking talent. He thirsts for you something dangerous, something unquenchable; he tugs at your labia, forming his lips around your clit, lapping at your essence— the ocean musk, that sea foam wet.
You fumble through his hair, mussing the saline woven strands with urgent fingers as you grind grind grind, rolling your hips to meet him in a covetous show of want and he purrs into your pussy as you fuck his face, the scratch of his stubble chafing at your legs.
It doesn’t take long, not with the fervor of how he’s claiming your cunt with his mouth. You soak Frankie’s chin— you nearly fucking drown him with it—and he’s glistening with you when he finally emerges for air, pulling you to him to slant his lips against yours, letting you savor your own taste on his hot tongue.
“Bedroom. Now,” he husks, breath hitching as his nose grazes along your ear, and with two hands under your armpits, he gathers you off the countertop. Frankie lands a swat at the plump of your backside, sending you scurrying through the living room with a shriek—completely bypassing the abandoned pile of laundry left lying on the couch.
He smirks—delirious and ramrod stiff—sauntering behind you, enamored with the pendulum sway of your hips as you lead him to the bed.
/
You’ve never been here. You’ve never gone this far. You both have tiptoed this narrow line for months; he’s fingered your ass plenty—you have even gone so far as to don a butt plug. You’ve discussed anal—toyed with the idea, flirted in circles around it like tittering birds.
But you’ve never taken Frankie’s cock. Not yet.
He’s been working you loose and limber for the better part of fifteen minutes, delving himself knuckle deep into your slicked hole until you’re sputtering for more— until you’re downright sopping and fucking shaking— and not with trepidation but with desire. Frankie’s made you gluttonous. Frankie’s made you voracious.
You’re starving for him.
“You gonna let me have this now?” He presses a digit over your ass, kissing his thumb into the knot there.
You tremble, nodding frantic.
“Think this pretty little ass can take me, baby?”
He serves you a slap, plush skin jiggling and pricking pink under his palm. You keen into him, in search of the promise he’s been baiting you with and you arch your hips, gyrating back onto fucking nothing.
“Yes. Yes—” You twist, chin corkscrewed around to see him. You want to watch. You want to watch as he disappears inside you— as you swallow him.
“A-Are you sure?” he asks, suddenly gone gentle around the lines fraying from his eyes—those wrinkles he’s hard-earned and won, like badges, like medals—from all his years spent under an unforgiving sun, all of that which he has seen and endured. Survived. Your Frankie, always thoughtful, always checking. A goddamn gentleman, even now—even as his dick brays hard and angry against the soft of his tawny stomach. “Because really, we don’t have to—”
You cut him off with a whimper, splaying your pelvis up to him—spreading yourself, letting him see the filth dripping from your seam, dappling your inner thighs. “Fuck me,” you whine, both holes puckering for him. “Fill me up, like you said you would— please.”
Something shifts across his features like a shadow and his expression morphs until it steels— his pupils dilating to a predatorial onyx— and he spits into his palm, coating his shaft, jerking himself with it.
He hisses as he guides himself into you, as you accommodate around him, as you envelop him entirely— inch by veritable inch. He has to station a hand to the base of your lumbar, struggling to maintain his composure—air rattling in and out his lungs as he attempts to breathe.
“Shit,” he gasps, “t-this okay?”
You fist the comforter, coiling the fabric into a ball. It’s a stretch— it’s a real goddamn stretch— and briefly you consider that he might, in fact, snap you in two...
Francisco Morales is going to split you clean in half—and God, if you don’t you love it.
“Yes - yes baby - keep going. D-Don’t stop.”
He pitches into you, setting a legato tempo— transfixed by the lurid juncture where you converge into one. “You- you’re so tight. Shit, you’re—”
He silences himself with a delicious moan, biting at his lower lip until the vessels there burst and it purples, and deals a particularly aggressive thrust— one you respond to with an ugly wail of your own, eyes somersaulting in their sockets.
You’re both impatient, verging on rabid, and it doesn’t take long for him to set a rougher pace and fuck you faster - harder - hammering into your ass until you see stars, popping and fizzing in front of your retinas, a symphony of guttural grunts and carnal praise fogging up the bedroom.
Your pussy feels so empty you could cry—weeping and gaping and fluttering for him as he takes your tight ring of muscle, fucking himself to the hilt. It’s like he’s behind your brain—like he’s carved his way up your spine and nudging at the nape of your neck with how deep he’s driving into you—restless. Ceaseless. His balls slap slap slap against your puffy cunt and you pant— girlish and buoyant with the dulled smacks to your sore clit.
“Please,” you sob, “Please, I need—”
You can barely push the words out—your mind is of no help and your tongue lolls useless, languid in your mouth. Your motor functions have all but puttered to a halt, every scrap of you fighting to stay above the sensation that’s threatening to drag you under its current. The rip tide of it all, of Frankie’s cock, coursing through your ass, tempting to hurdle you out into the dark, wet blue.
“Tell me,” Frankie rasps, scraping through his throat. “Tell me, pretty baby.”
Your response is pathetic—you can hardly dignify it as a response at all. Your temple is pressed into the mattress, hair knotted with brine and sand, and all you can do is coo.
Frankie folds over you, angling himself to graze his teeth over your shoulder—savoring the salt and sex tang bathing your skin, all those pheromones and velveteen chemicals anointing you—baptizing you anew for him. He’s gruff when he murmurs, his beard grating your freshly tanned skin.
“C’mon sweetheart - hng, fuck - what do you need?”
“My clit,” you rush out, needy. “My clit. Please, oh my god Frankie I-I need you to, I need – oh fuck—” And your pleas are mummed by a rapturous moan as he trails his hand from the hollow of your hip to the apex of your cleft and flicks.
Fuck. Fuck, oh Christ—
There’s a ringing in your ears, buzzing you deaf, making you dumb—or maybe it���s just your heart, beating loud and errant against your skull—you can’t say. You don’t feel human. Frankie’s pounding into that cinched channel and playing with your clit—swiveling eddies into your swollen nub—and you feel like an animal. You feel debased. You feel disgusting and perfect and you’re fucking drooling; cheek squished and mouth agape, saliva pools from your wagging maw, darkening the white linen you’re being driven into.
“You need me in your pussy, too?”
He doesn’t wait for you to answer him— he already knows what you need, how you need to have every part of you gorged on him— and Frankie dips his fingertips into your entrance, hooking them up and up and in, fucking in time to the cant of his hips.
He’s in you. Everywhere, everywhere—every possible neuron and synapse consumed with him.
“You need me like this—fucking you this deep? Fucking both your pretty holes?” he growls, weaving his hand lower to grab a fistful of your hair, rucking your head up. Throat stretched bare for him, your mewls muddle to cock-drunk cries as he spears you on himself again and again and again.
Yes yes yes fuck harder please please Frankie
You're pleading with him—you’ve been reduced to meager begging— and a chorus of slurs sings your release as you contract around him and cum, the cradle of your hips bucking reflexively.
“Fuck, that’s it,” he seethes, “you’re so good for me baby, Jesus fuck—”
He’s close now—his blissed finish drawing nearer and nearer with each sharp snap of his hips. Frankly, he’s shocked he’s managed to last as long as he has; it’s a small miracle he hadn’t cum the instant he slotted himself inside you with that very first stroke.
“Baby,” he warns, losing his rhythm. You saddle your spine, hollowing out the valley of your back and arch pretty and supple for him— preening under his weight. He moans at that, and through your fucked out haze you have the wherewithal to smirk at him, devious and prideful, a wild look owning your eye.
Frankie has to brace himself on your hips, untangling from your locks to bruise into the pillow of your skin— gripping on for dear fucking life as he plows you. You’re strangling him. You’re strangling the thick of his cock until he’s dizzy with it—until he’s feral and blind and he can’t hold on, can’t keep fighting this fucking monsoon that’s raging in his core.
“Baby, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna—fuck me, oh shit—” He shouts, spurting inside you thrust for thrust, painting your virgin walls with his seed. It’s too much— after all that, and you’re still too tight— and he’s overstimulated to the point of delirium. Frankie roots himself still, cum dribbling out your stuffed hole while he rides out the high of his orgasm—his vision, his senses, his goddamn soul, slowly oozing back into him. When he slides free from you, he does so with a pained heave, leaving you yawning with his absence.
You feel shredded. Vacant. You’ve been sent to another fucking dimension all together.
Without wasting another second, Frankie claws you up. You’re easy and malleable, bones and muscles too strung out to protest, and he whirls you around to bar you to his chest—crushing your sweaty body to his with bullet marred arms— the same arms that have taken lives, that have spared them, too. The same arms that link around you, delicate and daisy-chained, like you’re the most precious thing he has.
And you are.
You are.
Frankie kisses you breathless, drinking rich from your cup— tongue greedy and reverent as he kneels there at your altar, praying his sins into your mouth.
So gorgeous, he croons, peppering your face—your flushed cheeks, your perspired brow—with his lips as he tells you over and over and over again.
So good for me, pretty baby
Was that okay?
Fuck, you’re a dream
You’re my best girl—you’re my only girl
Was that okay?
God, you’re my whole fucking world
Was that okay? Was I okay?
Are you okay?
You swoon, helpless to the contented sigh that seeps out from you like mist. You’ve gone limp against the breadth of him. He has reduced you to rubber, left wobbling in his grasp, and you’re so damn full—your heart and your body—all of it. You feel unequivocally complete. You feel safe, you feel home.
You are home. Francisco is home.
He’s flattening out the nest of your hair, taming the damage he previously delivered to it, earning from you a sleepy grin into the muggy crook of his neck. And with the last of your waning strength you hold his pieces up to the light—the light you left on in the hall as the night grew dark around you, the one who’s yellow glow your naked bodies bask in now, and you say
I love you
I love this
I love this too
tags:
@krissology @heartsofbeskar @madhattervanessa @andiesturgss @sharkbait77 @tenderwhat @javier-pena @pedros-mustache @frannyzooey @chasingdreamer @djarinsbeskar @thosewickedlovelies @juletheghoul @not-the-droids @filthybookworm @pilothusband @letterfromvienna @keeper0fthestars @greatcircle79 @day-off-inkyoto @mermaidxatxheart @lawfulgranola @heatherbel @quica-quica-quica @stuckonthefiction @janesbrontes
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familyagrestefanblog · 4 years ago
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Ml Theory: Origins of Emilies name and Mayuras design
While looking up the real life equivalent of Emilies portrait and its artist I came across something that is just WAY too good to be a mere coincidence.
As many fans know already Emilies golden portrait is in real life the painting “Adele Bloch-Bauer I” by Gustav Klimt from 1907.
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Its to this day the painting sold for the highest price EVER, making it a fitting portrait to visualize Gabriels love for Emilie I always thought. But there is quite more background information with potential to be important.
Back before we were given Emilies name in “Gorizilla” Adele was a very common name for her in the fandom because of the original golden Lady, Adele. Funnily enough, the idea that Emilies name is connected to her portrait has quite likely never been a wrong assumption in the first place. We just never went deep enough to find her actual name or a couple of other similarities for not only her but for Natalie as well.
Because as the names might have already given it away, Adele Bloch-Bauer and Gustav Klimt were not husband and wife. Adele was married to someone else and Gustav never married at all. So while this painting is one of Gustavs most well known and one of the most valuable paintings in the world, the lady in the painting wasn’t his wife/lover and therefore Emilies name also isn’t Adele.
But just because Gustav Klimt wasn’t married doesn’t it mean that there wasn’t a very special woman in his life, one he was incredibly close with.
So may I present to you:
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Emilie Flöge
Right away its obvious that both painting were done in the same eye catching style, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
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She was the almost life long and very dear life-partner and Muse of Gustav Klimt. Just like him she was austrian and she was a fashion designer/creator and business woman and the sister of Gustavs sister-in-law. From 1891 onward he drew/painted her several times and rumors even say that Gustav, on his most well known painting “Der Kuss (The kiss), eternalized him and her together as lovers.
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So if there is a name associated with the “Adele” portrait that were to be Emilies namesake it certainly was the right call to have it be the dear life-partner of the artist who is basically representing Gabriel in this. Emilie Flöge.
But digging even deeper into Gustav Klimts works one could even make the argument that another name in the show wasn’t as completely random either and apparently not lazy at all:
Amilie Graham de Vanily
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Because 7 years after finishing “Adele Bloch-Bauer I” he started painting another portrait called “Das Bildnis der Amalie Zuckerkandl (The Image of Amalie Zuckerkandl)”
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but it was never finished because… well… both he and Amalie died in that timeframe for reasons unrelated to each other so.. yeah. But still.
I do think this woman is the namesake for our Amilie de Vanily, not because of background information as with Emilie, its more that I can indeed imagine it very well that for Emilies sister Thomas Astruc and Team went back to the same artist they got her name from and looked for a fitting name. And since it’s a pair of twin sisters we are talking about here the name “Amalie” was probably just waaaaaay to good and convenient to pass on.
So Amalie became Amilie and our family Graham de Vanily twin sisters had their names.
But you know what? If I’m already at it, lets take this to another level and you all know what I'm about to point out.
Because the first thing I thought when I looked at the portrait of Emilie Flöge was a sober: "Yeah, so THAT looks like Mayura" 
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-Main color blue with pink highlights
-one piece of each outfit has white incorporated
-both have a "peacock tail". Mayuras is just part of her dress and Flöges is something like a big fancy collar (idk man)
-Hands gloveless
-necks covered. Natalie/Mayura wears a turtleneck and Flöges wears a scarf
-Flöges has dark hair like Natalie (not as dark but definitely closer to Natalies than Emilie Agrestes)
I do even have another reason why I think Mayuras design was inspired by the real life background of Emilie Agrestes golden portrait.
Not only does Miss Flöges blue dress with pink highlights explain why the peacocks signature color is blue combined with (FREAKING) pink even though that isn’t anywhere close to an accurate depiction of a real life peacock the way all the other Miraculous do (It bothered me to no end but now I can finally sleep again in peace) But would you believe it? One of Gustav Klimts last finished paintings shows a woman who is supposedly meant to visualize what he thought to be the epitome of beauty:
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Peacocks, fan, you get where I’m going here right?
And this would make sense, RIGHT? Emilie was the peacock miraculous holder before Natalie so Emilies namesake wearing an outfit resembling the peacock holder we know and the peacock in general combined with the symbols of what the artists thought to be beautiful should checkout, shouldn’t it?
Weeeeell yes but mostly no imo.
While it is true that Emilie was the blue peacock long before Natalie became Mayura, it doesn’t change the fact that we, the viewers, were trained to associate the direct complementary color with Emilie right from the start. Emilie for US is not blue, she’s the opposite of blue, she’s yellow like her portrait:
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So it is very unlikely in my opinion that the blue Mayura outfit would be used like that for Emilie as well. That’s just WAY to harsh of a color whiplash for a character only given to us (for now) through stoic visual representation and a couple of lines from her family. We have very little to directly associate Emilies character with so yeah, her color coding with yellow and white is way to important to just break like that.
Therefore I do think its safe to say that the Mayura outfit/colorscheme is meant to be primarily associated with Natalie, meaning if the team actually took inspiration from this portrait for the Mayura design even though its also the portrait they took the name of the lost WIFE from, I do think this is supposed to mean something.
Especially when you consider that the painting of the epitome of beauty woman is obviously hindu oriented. Which comes right back to Natalie because not only is her villain name MAYURA the name of the male peacock in hindu mythology (the female one is called Mayuri) a general oriental flair is also how her room is designed as we just saw in the New York special 
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So what does all of this mean now? I’ve thrown quite a lot at you and a lot is contradicting each other too much to get a clear picture right away. So lets bring a little order into all of this and translate how these informations properly with what we see in Miraculous.
I’ll break it down like this:
Adeles golden Portrait doesn’t show the actual lover of the artist. Although Adele was married the actual special woman in Gustav Klimts life was Emilie Flöge, his partner, friend and companion he may have been in love with.
Translating this for Miraculous would become this:
Emilies golden Portrait doesn’t show the actual lover of Gabriel Agreste. Although Emilie was married to him the actual special woman in Gabriels life was Natalie Sanccour, his partner, friend and companion he may be starting to fall in love with.
Meaning this for the usage of the real life portraits as references:
Yes they still choose the right name for Emilie. The lady on the golden portrait is neither lover nor wife hence why Emilie couldn’t be named Adele. Because even if Gabriel is now falling in love with Natalie its doesn’t change that before all of this started Emilie was indeed the special woman in his life, hence her namesake being Emilie Flöge.
But on the other hand Natalie/Mayura, Gabriels new love, we know from the very start and a lot better than Emilie, is the right person to give the design of the blue portrait. E. Flöge was life-partner, friend and companion to a single man, everything that Natalie is as well. So while all of these aspects also applied to Emilie Agreste in the past they are way more fittingly at home with Natalie in the narrative of the show.
Besides that I will continue to stand to my believe that once we get Emilie back things will not go the way Gabriel wanted. Too much has happened that is too unforgivable. So our Emilie is portrayed as the not-wife-lady in gold because once Emilie is back and finds out what a monster (of a father) Gabriel has become there will very quickly be no marriage between them anymore. 
Okay, that’s all I have but I just had a thought so I wanna say it for protocol that I called it:
I'm calling dips on Gabriel getting a portrait for Natalie in s4 that looks like the the blue one from Emilie Flöge.
Just saying, I'm calling dips
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marvelsdc22 · 4 years ago
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You Should Tell Them
Intro: Hello, lovelies!! I hope you guys are having a good day/night!! I thought of this because of the gifs I shared the other day and with some help from @wokeupinawalnut​, thank you boo. Anyways, enjoy!
Note: You have been crushing on J.J. and Emily for quite a while now, Spencer tries to get you to tell them, but you’re stubborn, after a long case sparks fly between you three... With a little help from Spencer and Penelope of course
Word Count: 2146
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Why did Hotch have to call us in so early? You thought to yourself as you walked into the BAU, so lost in thought that you didn’t hear Spencer shout “Watch out!” before you got hit in the head with something, jarring you out of your thoughts and looking down to see what had hit you and seeing a film canister before you looked at Spencer as he shrunk in his seat, him, J.J, and Emily trying to fight back laughter “Must you?” You asked, picking the canister up and tossing it back at him, smirking when he scrambled to catch it before you went over to your desk and set your things down.
“Did Hotch say why he needed us here at… 4a.m.?” You asked, looking at the three and giving J.J and Emily a quick smile, you having a major crush on the two of them and Spencer knew, of course he knew, he was your best friend, he knew everything “Not yet, he’s still up in his office” Emily said, glancing up at Hotch’s office which led you to look as well, seeing him pacing around as he talked on his phone which made you tilt your head in curiosity “Wonder what that’s about” you muttered, looking at Spencer when he spoke up “Could be anything really, could be-“ “Don’t start, smartass” you said, holding up your hand to shut him up and laughing when he gave you a pout.
After a bit, Hotch finally pulled you all into the conference room and went over what the case was, there were cases of people vanishing after ‘Have you seen me?’ posters were posted of them, you guys also seemed to have gained a new team member, SSA David Rossi “What all do we know?” J.J. asked, sitting down across from you and Hotch as you both looked over the files “Not much, mostly people are vanishing after a few days of the posters being up” you said, looking at her and setting the files down “Could be phycological, get in their heads to draw them out by posting the posters” Spencer said, not even glancing up from his book.
Once you guys arrived and got settled, you were sent out with Spencer to do some questioning of some of the victims families “You should tell them” you heard Spencer say as you drove the van, causing you to choke on your own spit at the abruptness “Excuse me… What?” you asked, glancing at him as you tried to regain your bearings “J.J. and Emily, your lovesick puppy eyes are very obvious” he said, chuckling and not even attempting to dodge the punch you landed on his shoulder “I do not have lovesick puppy eyes” you said, rolling your eyes and focusing on the road in front of you “Besides, now is so not the time for that” you said, sighing some as you ran a hand through your hair, it already being a mess from the early morning and the long plane ride.
“It’s just a prank” the husband of the victim’s friend said, making you raise an eyebrow “A prank?” You asked, not understanding how he could think his wife’s friend’s disappearance was all just a prank, you listening to his explanation and glancing over when Spencer’s phone went off “Reid” he answered, his face turning solemn when J.J. told him what they had found “We found Michelle’s body” he said, looking at you then looking at the husband and wife, seeing their faces fill with shock “Think this is all a prank now, sir?” You asked, trying not to let your anger get the better of you with this.
After a few days, you guys had another victim turn up, you guys were up fairly late into the night, trying to look through all the files to see what you could have possibly missed, you jerking your head up for about the fifth time in an attempt to stay awake, sighing as you looked around, seeing Spencer passed out on the floor where he had been moving the photos around in front of him, also seeing Emily and J.J. passed out in their seats at the table, you unable to help yourself as you looked over their sleeping faces, they were so adorable.
Letting yourself look at them for a few more moments, you finally stood up and stretched, heading out of the room and into the break room, getting yourself a cup of crappy coffee “Can’t stay awake?” You heard someone ask, making you jump and nearly drop your coffee, turning around and seeing Emily standing there “Not really” you chuckled, moving over so she could get herself some coffee and leaning back against the counter, idly stirring you coffee and not realizing how close Emily was until she spoke up once more “You should get some sleep” causing you to jump once more and looking at her, feeling your face burning from both the closeness and embarrassment “I’m so close to figuring this out, I’ll be fine” you said, waving away her concern which only seemed to increase as she reached over and gently took the coffee cup from your hands.
Biting your lip, you looked at her as you felt her fingers touch yours “You being exhausted won’t help anything” she said softly, setting your cup down and placing a gentle hand on your back, gently leading you out of the breakroom and back into the conference room, the two of you seeing J.J. rubbing her eyes as she tried to wake up, her having moved to the couch “Hello” she murmured, watching as you both sat down on the couch as well, you sandwiched between the two of them “What are you two doing up?” She asked, brushing her hair out of her face as she rested her arm on the armrest “I was working on the case” you said, relaxing back against the couch as Emily settled in beside you, the three of you falling into conversation.
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of a camera, blinking slowly, you looked and saw Spencer standing there with his phone in hand and a smirk on his face “Spence, what-?” You asked until you felt movement on either side of you, looking where your feet were propped up on the couch, you saw that your feet were actually in J.J.’s lap and her arms resting on them while her head rested back against the back of the couch, you sitting up and looking behind you, seeing Emily resting behind you, you having had your head on her shoulder, feeling your face start to burn as you looked at her peaceful face before you went to get up, not realizing her arm was wrapped around your waisted, jarring both her and J.J awake at the sudden movement “I’m going to see what Penelope has” you said, quickly leaving the room and leaving an amused looking Spencer and confused looking J.J. and Emily.
When you got to an empty room, you let out a sigh and ran a hand through your hair which was riddled with bedhead, feeling incredibly flustered as you pulled your phone out and called Penelope “Hello sweetness, what can I do you for?” She asked, making you smile and let out a small chuckle “Pen, what do you have?” You asked, pacing slightly as you listened to what she had “There’s a link between the two victims… Seems that Michelle did a layout design for the company Enid works for” she said, shooting the information to your phone before you could even ask “Thank you, Pen, you’re a lifesaver” “Oh, I’m more than that, sweet thing” Penelope said, making you smile once more before you hung up.
“Hotch, Penelope found something” you said, coming back into the room after you made yourself look a little more presentable, locking eyes with J.J. and Emily before you quickly averted your gaze, unsure what you were feeling at the moment and going over everything Penelope had sent you, Hotch calling everyone into the room “We think we can get him to contact you” Hotch said, looking at the sheriff “What?” He asked, looking at Emily when she spoke up “The crime scenes show he wants to deliver his message to the police, he isn’t going public” Emily said, looking at him and you shifted slightly since you weren’t sure how this was all going to turn out, but you would side with your team.
After you guys managed to get the unsub on the phone and talk to him, you were sitting in the room at the table with the others, looking at Rossi with a scared look since he flipped a switch on the guy “Rossi” you said, not liking how the unsub had said he had signed Enid’s death warrant, watching as Rossi sat there for a bit before he stormed out of the room, the rest of you staying silent for a bit until you heard chairs scoot back and saw everyone start to leave the room, seeing J.J. pause at the door for a moment before she turned to you “Come on” she said, giving you a small smile and holding her hand out to you, you taking it and letting her pull you out of the room, neither of you letting go until you guys got to the vans.
Riding down the road with Rossi, Morgan, and Hotch, you barely listened to their conversation about how Rossi thought the phone call was the right choice, unable to think that you guys possibly did sign Enid’s death warrant, but you didn’t let it show “Hotch is right, you forced our hand, Rossi” you said, looking at him and watching as he looked at you but said nothing, the rest of the ride being silent until you made it to your destination.
“Morgan, take seventh floor, Prentiss and Y/N, take eighth, Reid take nineth” Hotch said, the four of you nodding before you headed up to your designated floors “Think we’ll catch him?” You asked Emily, watching as she glanced back at you, her expression unreadable as she just gave a small shrug “I don’t know” she said, heading up the stairs with you and the two of you going and talking to the people working on that floor “How are we supposed to know who it is if we don’t even know what we’re looking for?” You asked, earning a small laugh from Emily “That’s the joys of this job, you never know” she said, heading down the hallway and ending up back where you both started.
The two of you going to give up when you heard a gunshot from downstairs, causing the two of you to run down and see what all had went down, seeing the unsub dead and Hotch and Morgan running out of the building, you looking at Prentiss who was looking at Rossi who seemed to be taking care for the unsub, so she led you out of the building to wait for further instructions.
As you watched the paramedics get Enid into the ambulance, you smiled when you saw some kids come up to you guys, not realizing it was Halloween already, you and the team giving them some candy, locking eyes with J.J. who gave you a smile which you returned before you looked at Emily who was smiling at some kids as she passed them out some peppermints, you unable to stop your heart from speeding up as you practically melted at the sight, knowing you had made your decision on what you were going to do next.
When you all got back to the BAU, you were all discussing some random things, you talking with Spencer and Penelope about what your plans were for the night “Sleep” you said, laughing when Spencer and Penelope gave you an incredulous look “That is not your plan” Penelope said, looking at you and glancing behind you before her and Spencer looked at each other before they shoved you back, causing you to let out a small scream before you felt two sets of arms catch you “Hi” you squeaked, looking up at Emily and J.J. who still had you in their strong arms “Hello” J.J. chuckled, the two of them helping you stand up straight and you fixed your shirt a bit before you looked at them “Do you two… Want to come to my place tonight?” You asked, biting your lip as you looked at them and watching as they nodded and smiled “We’d love to” Emily said, wrapping an arm around you while J.J. took your hand, the three of you heading out and you ignoring the looks Penelope and Spencer gave you before you headed out for the best night in ever.
Permanent Taglist: @rianncreates​ / @natasha-danvers​ / @youngandwildx7​ / @stewie-castle / @hopingforbarnes​
Criminal Minds Taglist: @wokeupinawalnut​
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seven-oomen · 4 years ago
Text
Every road leads to you chapter 1 | Sambucky a/b/o mpreg
Note: obvious tags for this are a/b/o and eventual mpreg. Alpha Sam, Omega Bucky, Bucky deal with CPTSD, missing scenes, canon compliant, canon continuation, frenemies to friends to lovers, roommates, only one bed. Probably a few more tropes. tbh I wrote this chapter in like a day, posting it here first because I wanna finish the whole fic before posting it to Ao3 but hoping to get some feedback for it here. So I hope you like it. Let me know if you do.
-
“Stop the car!”
Goddamn Walker and his goddamn fucking mouth. He couldn’t believe this shit. Battlestar. More like throwing away everything Steve had ever stood for. These two, Walker and Hoskins, they weren’t fit to defend the mantle of Captain America. They were soldiers, not good men. He hated their freaking guts for that.
Sam should have never given up that shield.
He stalked further down the road, past the bus stop and onto a smaller road that wound back to town without looking back.
“It’s always that last line.” Sam said after a short back and forth with Walker and not long after Sam’s footsteps trailed after him.
“Buck, wait up!”
He kept walking, trying to contain the anger boiling under his skin. Pulsing and creeping up, threatening to overload his nervous system at the slightest touch. He took a deep breath instead and released it slowly. Trying to calm the waving energy inside of him.
Just keep breathing. Everything is going to be okay.
Sam fell into step beside him, his eyes practically burning holes into the side of his face. Though he paid it no mind.
“You’re not going to talk to me, are you?”
He glared at Sam but slowed down his pace just a little to allow the Alpha to keep up with him. As much as he usually enjoyed bantering with the other man, right now everything was just too much. And even Sam’s words echoed in his head and threatened to overload his entire system.
Sam, thankfully, understood.
“Alright. Let’s find a phone. Call Torres.”
He looked at Sam for a moment. The Alpha didn’t judge him for his mood, simply understood what he needed and left it at that. Honestly, it was nice for a change. He sighed, fishing his still working cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to Sam.
“Here.”
Clearly, Sam hadn’t expected that. But the smile Sam gave him created a pleasant warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and eased the pulsing energy through his body just a little. In a way, it was soothing to see him smile.
“Thanks Buck.”
“You’re welcome.”
Two short phone calls later they were on their way to the airport in a cab, their knees touching and only the sound of Taylor Swift singing over the radio surrounding them. Even the driver was quiet.
He still noted the driver’s glances between the two of them but didn’t comment on it since the chubby man didn’t either. He figured the man had bigger problems in his life than having an unmated Alpha and Omega sitting in the back of his cab. Having the kind of walrus mustache the man sported, had to be one of them.
Sam kept sneaking glances between him and the driver, his lips curled up in an amused smile. Almost as if he knew the kind of things he was thinking. It was a little weird, a little endearing, mostly just annoying. He raised an eyebrow at the behavior and leaned back with a smirk when Sam just glared at him and crossed his arms.
Damn right.
Though a small part of him winced at the way his gut twisted at Sam’s reaction. When was the last time he’d taken his suppressants? A quick silent count said he’d taken all of them. So that couldn’t be why he was having a reaction. What else could it be though?
Torres welcomed them at the airport, thankfully Walker or Hoskins were nowhere to be seen. A small miracle all things considered, but a very welcome one.
“Plane’s fueled and ready to go when you are.”
“Then let’s take off, I’ve had enough of Germany for now.” Sam said.
He followed, trailing after Sam into the cargo hold of the plane where they would undoubtedly spend the next few hours just staring ahead. And maybe even getting some sleep if they were lucky enough.
It took a few hours for them to get bored enough. He certainly didn’t know what to do with himself and Sam was on the verge of a mental breakdown judging the by the way he was glaring at him. Then again, if Sam had been mindlessly pacing up and down the cargo hold he’d probably be in the same state.
“Would you please just sit down?”
His fingers twitched at those words yet he did stop. Hands clenching and unclenching in an effort to get rid of some of his excess energy.
“I can’t. I’m restless.” He was. It felt like a dozen fire ants were crawling up and down his spine and the only way to alleviate that feeling was by pacing around the plane.
“I can see that, but you’re making me restless. Come on.” Sam beckoned him closer.
It was… tempting to sit down beside him and allow Sam to calm him. He couldn’t do that though. Couldn’t let anyone get that close. He didn’t know if Sam knew what he was, they didn’t talk much about that stuff. And a part of him never wanted Sam to find out either. He didn’t want to lose this edge of whatever it was that was between them. In a way it was comforting to know that someone didn’t take his bullshit, that someone still called him out on his stupid ideas.
He sat down on the floor opposite Sam, his back propped up against some crates and the tips of his toes not quite touching Sam’s.
Sam merely stared at him for a moment, then leaned forward and offered him his hands. “Gimme your hands.”
“No.” His first reaction was to lean back further and glare. Sneering at the hands he was offered.
Though Sam didn’t budge or get angry at his behavior and stayed calm. Within minutes his shoulders relaxed just a little and he laid his hands in Sam’s with a soft grumble.
“Fine.”
“Good, now breathe.” Sam said, taking a deep breath in. “In, hold it-” He paused for a few seconds, then released his breath “-and out slowly. Repeat.”
“You’re playing therapist now are you?” He appreciated Sam’s help, truly, he did. But there was always a part of him that just wanted to rile Sam up. Just to see if he could.
“No, I just want some goddamn peace and quiet without you pacing a hole through the floor and this is probably the best way to get that.” Sam bit back, the corners of his lips curling up.
It did something to him. A warmth that pooled in his stomach and slowly traveled to his heart and eased the little aches, pains, and pulses of his body. God he could drown in those dark eyes all night.
He blinked rapidly at that thought, only then realizing that his breathing had synched up with Sam’s and they were calmly breathing in and out together. How had that happened? Even his own therapist hadn’t been that effective in getting him to calm down.
He hadn’t even noticed he had exposed the dog tags around his neck for Sam to see. His full name and designation clearly stamped and visible.
James B. Barnes O
32557038 T41 42 O
R.Barnes
3092 Stoorton RD
Shelbyville IN P
Sam didn’t seem to care either way. “Better?”
He nodded, quickly pulling his hands away from Sam’s when Sam’s thumb brushed over the back of his hand. “Yeah…”
“Good. Let me know if you feel restless, we’ll do it again.” Sam leaned back and closed his eyes, his breathing slowly evening out.
He honestly didn’t understand it. Sam had had every opportunity to absolutely obliterate him and yet he hadn’t. Anything vulnerable he showed him, any kind of weakness he had, for once it wasn’t used against him. Sam treated him like a person. He never really noticed that before, or it hadn’t registered this clearly. It was too easy to forget when he was around Sam, too easy to just fall in beside him and joke and snap along. It scared him just a little.
It also gave him hope.
Maybe that’s why he brought Sam to Baltimore.
He should have known things would go south real quickly.
“How come nobody ever told me about him?” Sam’s voice was full of fire and emotion and yet it cut him cold across the chest. He wasn’t sure if he deserved that reaction, but he understood it in a way.
“Steve didn’t know and I didn’t-” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing “-I didn’t tell anybody because he’d already been through enough.”
The sharp sound of sirens pulled him out of his thoughts and brought an entirely new problem with it. Before he knew it, he was the one escorted into a police car with his hands cuffed. He missed his court mandated therapy. Wasn’t that a fucking joke?
He spared one glance at Sam just as the car pulled away from the scene and immediately wished he hadn’t. The look Sam gave him hurt more than any punch ever had and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t owe Sam anything. And yet it felt like he just lost his entire world.
“I’m sure everything will be sorted quickly, Mr. Barnes.” One of the cops, the shorter one, said. He was quite a bit more nervous now than he had been when he thought Sam had been an aggressor, possibly because he feared repercussions from profiling an Avenger. Good. Maybe it would make him think twice about pulling shit like that, though a part of him very much doubted it.
He simply glanced at them in the rear view mirror, feeling an almost sick sense of satisfaction as that unnerved both of the cops further. He didn’t say anything to them despite their attempts at making small talk with him.
What was the fucking point anyway?
He didn’t expect Sam to come get him at the station. Seeing him there felt like a slap to the face. Not because Sam had done anything wrong, no he’d done everything right. And that’s exactly what hurt so much.
The doc seemed hell bent on getting him to open up about his problems. And as much as he didn’t really want to he found himself opening up anyway.
“Well in my miracle, he would talk less.” He said, glaring at Sam as he said it. And maybe that was a bit harsh, but Sam took it like a champ and threw it right back at him. God how he wanted to shut him up in that moment. Though in what way he wasn’t quite sure. In the last day his emotions had been all over the place.
He wanted to hate Sam, but he couldn’t. Something deep inside him just couldn’t hate him for any of this. Not when he himself had done so much worse.
The doc didn’t seem that pleased with them. Honestly, she should have known better. “You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul gazing exercise.”
Now that, he actually liked. “I like this one a lot better.”
“Oh god he’s gonna love this.” Sam said.
“Oh yeah, I’m ready.”
They scooted close, legs intertwining as they sat opposite one another. Once again he was staring into deep brown eyes except this time Sam’s warmth also seeped into him. In a way it was like touching spring for the first time since a cold winter. Warm and pleasant with just enough breeze to keep you alert and in the moment. It was both heaven and earth on hell and he wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face. He didn’t. He couldn’t.
Because punching Sam wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t give him closure. It wouldn’t bring Steve back. Steve, who had walked out on him and left him in a time he barely knew just to get his own happy ending. Yeah maybe that had left him a little bitter and a little broken.
“Why’d you give up the shield?”
He poured his heart into his words and bared his soul wide open and it didn’t seem to matter to Sam. So maybe Steve had been wrong about him. About both of them. Maybe he didn’t deserve redemption or compassion. Maybe he didn’t deserve a second chance. And maybe he didn’t deserve Sam’s kindness or compassion either. Maybe he was just broken.
“See you outside, Buck.”
Maybe he was just too broken to function after all.
“Thanks doc.” He followed after Sam, quiet and brooding on the outside but his mind was screaming and crying in agony.
Worthless. He was just so fucking worthless.
He shouldn’t care this much.
He didn’t deserve to care this much.
Maybe that’s why he suggested to go the HYDRA route and find Zemo, or maybe it was a form of self sabotage. Who knew? All he knew, was that this was his last chance to do something right for this world. No matter what it would cost him.
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maymyheartbmyguidingkey · 4 years ago
Text
aren’t we a nice pear
you can blame @duelistkingdom​ for this, not me
Yugi was quickly learning that certain fruits may have been tough to come by during the 18th dynasty - if not non-existent.
His first clue was when he brought a coconut back to the apartment, intending to make his famous coconut curry and sticky rice.
Atem had peeked into his grocery bags, adorably curious (Sugoroku had always done the grocery shopping, and rarely did he ever obtain fresh fruits), and had gasped dramatically, startling Yugi so badly he nearly jumped out of his own skin.
"What? What's wrong? I swear to god, if I broke the eggs -"
But when Yugi swivelled to survey the damage, he found instead Atem holding a coconut aloft, reverently.
His shoulders fell.
"A coconut," Atem hissed. "When father would return from his diplomatic travels he would near always bring coconuts. The juice was divine."
Yugi rolled his eyes good-naturedly and returned to putting away their groceries. "You almost gave me a heart attack over a coconut. What, were they not very popular in your time?"
Atem was silent for long enough that Yugi knew: if he looked back at him right now, he'd be met with an unfairly incredulous stare.
So Yugi turned to him, face resolutely deadpan, finding his prediction entirely correct.
"Yugi, my partner, light of my life -"
Yugi's eyebrows climbed into his hairline.
"- coconuts were an import," Atem said, like it was especially important, clutching the coconut to his chest as if it were a wounded animal. "Only the fabulously wealthy -" he pantomimed tossing hair over his shoulder, "could possibly afford such a luxury good."
Yugi snorted, finding the eggs (thankfully, in good shape) and placing them delicately in their designated spot in the fridge.
"Well you were fabulously wealthy, O dearest Pharaoh, so why are you clinging to it like a starving man?"
"Because coconuts are - what is it Jou always says? It is the most ridiculous - oh yes - lit."
Yugi froze, eyes squeezed shut. "Atem. My world. Dearest heart. Never say that again."
But then his brain buffered. Wait a damn minute -
Eyes comically wide, Yugi said, "Wait. Atem. What kind of fruit did you have?"
Atem pursed his lips, tossing the coconut from hand to hand, resting his elbows on the quartz island between them. "Grapes. I rather liked those. Oh - figs, though I found them too sweet. Nabk -"
“Atem,” Yugi pressed, suddenly desperate, “what’s a strawberry?”
Atem blinked, confused as to how and why the tone of their conversation shifted. “I... suppose I'm not quite sure? When you say the word, an image crops up, but I have not the faintest -”
Yugi was already grabbing his keys. “I'm going back to the store.”
“What on Earth -”
“I’ve been craving cherries anyway. Oh my god, and pomegran - no, wait, you guys had those, right? Pretty sure that was an 8th dynasty thing. Peaches! Pineapple? Holy - I need to learn how to slice a pineapple -”
“Yugi, my love, what is happening right now?”
“Oh, I’m so stupid,” Yugi scoffed, taking Atem by the hand, who squawked indignantly at his self-insult. He dragged Atem hurriedly to the front door, fumbling to slip on his shoes with only one hand. “You can just come with me.”
“Call yourself stupid one more time. I have hands now, Yugi. I can smack you.”
“Why, what better for me to kiss, my dear?” Yugi said, throwing his pharaoh a sly smirk, raising Atem’s knuckles to his lips. Atem’s face flushed a pretty red, and he stared pointedly down at his own backless loafers, grumpily slipping them on.
“Cheeky,” he mumbled, sounding secretly pleased.
“Yugi. Where... what is this place?”
Yugi sent him a bright grin, squeezing Atem's hand where he held it in his jacket pocket. “This, O mighty Pharaoh, is the grocery store.”
Atem gawked at the various signage as Yugi dragged him to the cart well, snatching up a handbasket and promptly making a beeline for the produce section.
“Wait, wait, was that - was that a massive cart to wheel your groceries about in?” Atem asked, incredulous. “How affluent must you be to fill one of those?”
Yugi snorted. “I can't believe I never once brought you to a grocery store. Goes to show how often those lunches from 7/11 saved my life in high school.”
“Oh,” Atem said, staring at the wall of colorful greeting cards as they passed. “Well, this is delightful. It's much like the market, just. Indoors. And with fluorescent lighting.”
“Yeah, you get it,” Yugi encouraged, leaning over to kiss Atem’s temple firmly. “C'mon, this way.”
The produce section was lush today, what with it being a random Thursday afternoon, and Atem was already spotting things he had never seen before but knew the names of (thanks to the brain of a certain now-adult who he had often possessed when he was nothing but a no-name disembodied spirit).
“There! The - what was the word? - strawberries,” he chirped. “What kind of name is that, by the way?”
Yugi squeezed his hand twice, their mutual sign for it’s okay, grab it, holding the basket within Atem’s reach. “Says the guy with nabk. Throw ‘em in there, hot stuff.”
“The -” Atem blanched, holding up a packet of strawberries, confused. “All of them?”
Yugi raised his eyebrows. “Yes? What, you want me to open it and pluck out a single strawberry?”
“Well - wouldn’t - isn’t the whole thing expensive? They seem like they would be expensive.”
“Oh, no,” Yugi slid the basket to the crook of his elbow, swiping up a packet himself and giving the label a read. “Strawberries are one of Japan's biggest exports. Oooh, and I love amaou variety. Perfect for your first try.”
He gently took the packet from a stunned Atem’s hand and dropped both into the basket. Atem sputtered.
“That is - you can just, buy fruit en masse? Affordably?”
Yugi laughed quietly, spotting the pineapples and leading Atem toward them. “Maybe not as cheaply as in other places - we kind of have a thing for designer fruit here. But these packs are only ¥500 each.”
“Only how mu - oh my land, those are horrifying.”
“Yeah, if you’re not used to them, they’re pretty freaky,” Yugi acquiesced, reaching for a piece of the spiky fruit - only for Atem to slap his hand away.
Yugi whipped around to stare at him, bewildered. The look on Atem’s face wouldn’t be out of place beside the dictionary definition of appalled.
“My Yugi will most certainly not be touching the pointy death fruit!” he hissed, gesturing violently toward the pineapples, like his reaction was obvious. “I used to inhabit that body, you know.”
Yugi pressed his lips into a firm line, trying desperately not to burst into laughter.
“Atem. Pharaoh of my heart. My angel,” he whispered, taking a deep breath. “I love you so much. Just - watch this.”
And Yugi - while giving Atem a pointed, amused look - reached again for a pineapple, easily picking one from its perch by its uninviting body.
Atem, perplexed, brows raised in astonishment, stammered. “But - it - you -”
Yugi offered it to him. “It's not a cactus. Its bark is worse than its bite.”
Atem hesitated, but Yugi patiently held the pineapple toward him, nodding encouragingly when Atem met his eyes doubtfully.
And so Atem took it in his elegant, princely hands, brows furrowed in confusion when it did not, in fact, slice him to ribbons.
“But... it looks so evil.”
“Right? But it’s only poke-y. Honestly I just wanna meet the guy who saw one for the first time and immediately thought, “hey, I’m gonna crack this shit open and give it a taste”.”
Yugi created a monster.
They had picked out a few more things for Atem to try, including the promised cherries and peaches (Atem giving a smug “now that is more like it” when he saw the peaches priced at two for ¥1990), but also some things that yugi had realized he took completely for granted: blueberries, kiwis - bananas. God, bananas.
Atem had also discovered that coconut water was sold by itself, in convenient single portions, and had happily trotted off to the self-checkout counter with a case of six, an endeared Yugi in tow.
It had been a week since that fateful day.
Atem sat on their cute little cream loveseat, newly-acquired and much-needed reading glasses on his nose and feet propped up on the matching ottoman, his current read in his lap. He held one of Yugi's many reusable water bottles in his hand, half-full with coconut water, blueberries, strawberries and ice floating prettily at the top. His bottle-holding arm was curled protectively around a bowl precariously perched on the arm rest, where he kept his (perfectly sliced) pineapple rings.
"Living in the lap of luxury, I see," Yugi said, plopping down beside Atem and draping himself directly atop the open book. He gazed up at his boyfriend, mischievous. "Lavish attention upon me as you do your precious books and fruits, O great Pharaoh."
Atem rolled his eyes, plucking a ring of pineapple from the bowl and tearing it in half. Yugi opened his mouth expectantly.
"Who said this was for you?" Atem snorted, popping one half in his mouth. "This is the last of it and you are a brat."
Yugi, as per usual, pouted to get his way. Atem, as per usual, was unable to resist said pout, huffing and presenting Yugi with the other half.
"A brat maybe, but loved by you nonetheless," he cheeked as he chewed.
"Exhibit A. Eat with your mouth closed; you are in the presence of royalty," atem said. "And sit properly, for goodness sake - you'll choke, and I refuse to have that on my conscience."
And sit properly Yugi did - mostly. He slung himself over Atem's shoulders, muttering into his neck, "You know, that's the third pineapple you've -"
"Ananas."
Yugi scoffed. Ever since Atem had Googled the Arabic name for the fruit (an adventure in it's own right), he refused to use anything else.
"Yes, ananas, yet somehow I’m the brat here," Yugi continued, "point being: it's the third one you've decimated this week. We just ran out of bananas, and I think that was the last pack of strawberries, too. I'm gonna go broke."
"This is fine. We can subsist off of fruit alone."
Yugi leaned back and stared into Atem's face, who had gone back to reading his book, unfazed. "You can subsist off of fruit alone. I need meat. Protein."
Atem pulled off his glasses and slapped the book shut, giving Yugi the most skeptical look he’d ever seen. "Yugi. You are a waif."
"Hey! No body-shaming here!" Yugi protested, pulling his legs up and into Atem's lap, again smothering the book. "All the more reason for me to have meat in my diet! I won't survive."
"You know, I used that miraculous thing - Google - and it told me that meat is actually quite bad for you. Did you know that humans only evolved to eat it because -"
Yugi groaned, stuffing his face back into the crook of Atem's neck, his next words muffled. "Google made my boyfriend health-conscious and now I can't have bacon. I'm sending corporate a strongly-worded email."
Atem's quiet laughter was like warm sunshine, and Yugi basked in it, the tell tale thunk of his water bottle being set on the side table music to his ears, as Atem could only be freeing his hand for one reason. He began to stroke Yugi's hair, and if Yugi could purr, the sound of it would reverberate through the entire apartment building.
They fell into a comfortable silence, only broken by the soft sounds of their chewing as they polish off the pineapple rings, Atem more than happy to continue feeding Yugi pieces.
"I may joke around," Yugi finally whispered, like they were the only two who existed in the universe, "but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd sell my kidney to buy you whatever you wanted."
Yugi felt a puff of a laugh against the crown of his head; the press of Atem's lips. "No need to go to such extremities, precious one. You are all I would ever wish for."
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szivtalan · 4 years ago
Text
love is in the words unspoken
all these moments are golden,
forever is mine with you
the blossoming of the cherry trees always puts hawks in a strange mood. he thinks they’re romantic, magical - reminds him of a time when he was more naive, more dreamy, didn’t know much about the world. it’s nostalgic, to see the carpet of sakura petals on the streets, reminding him of what is and what could’ve been.
‘hawks!’
it’s ironic that he runs into endeavor’s child just as the flowers begin to fall.
‘hey, it’s todoroki.’ he grins, glancing at the two heroes behind the one already rushing up to him: deku and dynamight. ah yes, the three musketeers, as they call themselves. it’s nice to see the top three teaming up that way. ‘where’s the honorific though, kiddo? i’m still much older than you.’
‘not that much.’ shoto replies, and it feels like a shot to the heart. that’s right... they’re both in their twenties now. ‘and i figured i’d drop the honorifics now that i’m above you on the hero ranking list.’
the tilt of his head would be adorable if he weren’t such an asshole. tokoyami was right when he said that his youngest was different than endeavor - hawks only wished to see such a playful side of him.
‘the disrespect.’ hawks laughs, slapping shoto on the shoulder. he hits harder than what would be necessary, but the boy doesn’t even bat an eye. sturdy. and tall. holy shit, is he taller than hawks now? ‘anyway, i really don’t mind. are you guys patrolling around here?’
‘GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE HALF-AND-HALF, BEFORE I GO THERE AND BEAT IT!’ one youngster yells at them.
‘kacchan, don’t be so rude! he’s talking to hawks-san!’
‘friendly bunch.’ hawks snorts, and shoto just shakes his head with a smile.
‘they’re the best. i’m just trying to catch up.’ he admits, sounding sincere.
‘DON’T IGNORE ME, FUCKFACE!’
‘what are you doing around here anyway?’ shoto asks. ‘isn’t your office in a different city?’
‘yeah, i just came here to stretch my wings, take a walk.’ hawks says, ruffling his feathers a little for emphasis.
‘are you walking on your wings?’
‘n-no...?’
‘then how-’
‘WRAP IT UP NOW!’ at dynamight’s next shout, shoto visibly flinches. he seems more irritated than scared, at least to hawks.
‘i just wanted to thank you for helping my dad all those years ago.’ shoto says then, bowing his head a little. hawks takes it back, he doesn’t have an ounce of disrespect in his body. he’s just a little warped in the social area, and hawks has a fairly good guess where he gets that from. ‘i’ll be going now.’
‘wait, ah- how, how’s the old man?’ hawks tries to aim for anything but desperate. ‘i haven’t heard from him since the retirement.’
shoto looks at him thoughtfully, and those dual-colored eyes make hawks immeasurably nervous. he feels like he’s staring into his soul, opening up the secrets he’s got locked inside.
‘he’s well. i go home on weekends.’ shoto says, pulling up a notebook and a pen. ‘here’s the address. i think he’d appreciate the visit.’
the road to the todoroki estate was the most tiring one hawks had taken in a while. it’s not like it was far from where they met with shoto, but he spent the entire time worrying if he’s dressed well for the occasion, if he should just walk instead of flying to not get gross and sweaty - if endeavor will even let him in, or he’ll just pass by and get told off.
the house is huge, traditional, designed in classic enji taste. hawks could see the roof from a street away, almost walks into a lamppost while staring, his heart picking up the speed both from the scare and the nerves. his feet feel heavier with every step, walking down the street, finally getting to the gate-
and seeing todoroki enji, former number one hero, the feared endeavor sweep the walkway to his door, the scene way too casual to not send an already spring-up hawks into hysterics.
‘what the hell is that?’ hawks spits, laughter erupting from deep in his belly. the look on endeavor’s face just makes him shriek louder, his abs clenching with it. ‘is that- a fucking broom for ants, endeavor, you look so funny-’
‘can’t a man just do his chores in peace?!’ endeavor’s yelling now; sparks fly on his heated skin, and then they burst into flames.
‘now that’s the endeavor-san i know and love.’ he laughs, holding onto his own stomach, wiping his tears. endeavor’s face appears red under all that fire, he walks up to the gate to let him in.
‘what are you doing here, anyway?’ he mumbles, extinguishing himself as hawks walked in. he holds his broom under his armpit rather awkwardly, with the gracelessness of a man not quite used to doing the cleaning. hawks looks at him, observes: the slouch in his shoulders, the specks of grey in his stubble, the blush high on his cheek, the early wrinkles. he smiles to himself, reasons unknown, buried deep in a secluded part of his heart.
‘ran into your kid downtown, he said i should drop by and say hello.’ hawks lifts the nylon bags he’s been carrying, offers a lopsided grin. ‘i brought takeout.’
‘hmpft.’ endeavor is elaborate, as always. a man of few words and plenty actions, something hawks has always admired in him. ‘you can stay. only for the food.’
‘so you’re still very much hopeless in the kitchen, eh?’
‘don’t make me change my mind, brat!’
the house is huge on the inside, at least five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a big kitchen and dining room, and one living room all fit into one floor. all of it echoes from their steps, empty and lonely.
‘your boy said that he’s visiting you on weekend.’ hawks pries, shrugging his coat off as he hands over the bag. his fingers brush against endeavor’s fight-hardened, calloused ones and his heart feels like it could jump out of his chest again.
‘whenever he has the time. shoto’s a busy man.’ endeavor nods, his voice dripping with pride. hawks doesn’t need him to say any more to know how fond he is of his son. it makes him smile, actually. ‘why?’
‘and the rest of your family?’ he asks, a little more cautious.
‘i see rei and natsuo on holidays, and fuyumi usually spends her school breaks here.’ enji sets down the bag at the low table, grabs a pair of chopsticks from the dish rack. there are plates piled high there: it seems like he can clean up after himself, but refuses to put things away. hawks figures it’s pretty comfortable, considers that for a second before he realizes how much he can see into endeavor’s private life.
they sit down at the same time, and their eyes meet. ‘i’m not lonely.’ enji immediately turns defensive. there’s probably pity or sadness in hawks’ eyes, he wasn’t paying attention to his expression for a second.
‘i wasn’t suggesting you were.’
‘being alone is something i deserve. so i take my punishment with pride and strength.’ enji squares his shoulder, sitting up impossibly straight at his uncomfortable seat. he takes the boxes out, scatters them across the table for them to reach. no plates, though. ‘itadakimasu.’
they eat mostly in silence, warm, comfortable, and hawks can’t take his eyes off him. endeavor looks so casual, so approachable like this. he looks soft, in the slightly frayed sweatpants, a little weary from use, and the soft cotton shirt hugging his bulging muscles, stretching across his enormous shoulders. his face is a little thin, the wrinkles obvious on its unharmed half. from this close, hawks can see the grey hairs on his temple, too.
‘i’m looking for a place to stay.’ hawks announces once they’re finished eating. the look of surprise and something else - hope? no, it can’t be... - flashing across endeavor’s face startles him, but he’s not about to back down, now. ‘what-... ugh, how much do you think you’d rent out a room for?’
‘what?’ endeavor appears shell-shocked. ‘wh- why?’
‘well, because my apartment building is remodeling, and i’m pretty sick of living in the busier side of the city anyway. figured i’d change it up, move into the suburbs-’
‘that’s not what i’m asking.’ he snaps. ‘why me? don’t you have friends who’d let you stay with them?’
‘not anyone i’d like to move in with.’ hawks shrugs, playing with a few leftover grains of rice. ‘you know, i can cook, and i’m also willing to dry off and put away your damn dishes.’
‘hawks...’
‘c’mon, we can have sleepovers! i can braid your hair and you can braid mine. it will be fun!’
‘i can’t let you do that, hawks.’
‘okay, yes, i admit, your mane’s a little short for a proper french braid, but i can make do-’
‘hawks.’ enji’s voice booms. ‘no.’
‘you’ve known me for almost a decade, old man.’ hawks is talking back, suddenly fired up. ‘why won’t you just let me take care of you?’
‘because i’m a perfectly capable person who doesn’t need anyone to take care of them.’ he huffs, steam seeping from his nose. ‘and because i can’t let you do that to yourself.’
‘what, enji?’ he’s loud. is he shouting? he can’t tell.
‘waste your time on a bitter old man who isn’t worthy of you.’
now they’re pulling up the big guns. hawks deflates, props his head up on his elbows.
‘retired, but still on your self-deprecating bullshit.’ he sighs. ‘will you take it to the grave?’
‘hawks, i’m serious-’
‘and i’ve been serious, too. my entire life, about my feelings for you. you kept shaking me off, saying it wasn’t appropriate for someone your age dating someone so young, saying you were married, but all this time, i kept getting refused because you hate yourself too much to allow yourself to be loved?’
hawks doesn’t know when he stood up, but he’s falling to his knees beside enji now.
‘what kind of an asshole does that...?’ he whispers, staring right into enji’s fearful eyes.
‘an asshole who cares about you.’ enji murmurs, letting hawks hit him in the chest.
‘this isn’t “caring” about someone! this is just lying to yourself and keeping yourself from being happy!’ his fingers tangle in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
‘keigo-’ enji hisses, losing his balance and gripping the edge of the table so he doesn’t fall against the other man.
‘tell me no.’ hawks proposes, his free hand coming up to cradle his jaw, so prickly and manly and strong, the shudder that ripples through him from the gentle touch, making him so weak and vulnerable. ‘no more running away, enji, no more games. tell me no right now, and i won’t ever bother you again.’
endeavor furrows his brows, the skin around his scar pulling grotesquely over his face with the struggle. he takes a deep breath, and hawks gets goosebumps as the hot air from the exhale hits his skin.
‘i can’t...’ enji whispers, and hawks can barely hear over the sound of his heart shattering. he starts to let go, but he forgets to breathe and move altogether as enji leans in instead, hand coming up to hold him close by the back of his head. ‘i can’t say no, not anymore...’
the first touch of lips against his have his insides flutter, almost working him into a panicked frenzy. he can only hope that enji can’t feel his heart beating in his throat as he kisses him, deep and desperate and oh so careful. hawks clings into him, lets him chase him for a change, holds on for the ride.
when they separate, hawks feels dizzy, drunk with heat and pleasure. enji looks just about as much present, he seems dumbfounded.
‘well, uh.’ he says, and hawks would kick anyone who says he doesn’t have a way with words.
‘i can come on thursdays and fridays.’ he offers, for now. ‘that way your kids can still have you on weekends.’
‘thanks.’ that’s all endeavor says before he pushes a few stray strands of hair back from hawks’ face, leans in for another kiss.
it’s a date, then.
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travellingarmy · 4 years ago
Text
║Kaeya║Diluc's Cousin 1
From Wattpad.
Gender-neutral.
Word count: 2.1k
---
No one in Mondstadt has ever known that Diluc- the cold and expressionless man- had a surviving family and for a reason; they live all the way at the hydro region, Fontaine, and the last visit was at least more than 10 years ago.
Diluc had been exchanging letters with them throughout the years though and although not completely knowing each little secret of the other's, family blood is what made the two stay put in each other's heart.
-
The sound of hooves trotting was getting louder from the distance and servants of Master Diluc looked up from their works in curiosity. The carriage was intricately designed- from the shape to its little silver linings- but foreign to what Mondstadt know as carriage.
Other than the coachman, a man stepped out from the carriage. He was well dressed in foreign clothing. But, instead of walking up to any of the servants, he waited at the side. Was there someone in there?
Just as the thought passed through each servants, another came out of the carriage. This one was dressed much fancier than the man and everyone could tell that they were of that in higher status than they were.
The mysterious person looked around before their gem-like eyes landed on the servants. They approached them calmly but the servants were on edge.
"Where is Diluc?" were the first words the person had asked. The person were looking at each other before a maid had spoken up-- most likely the head maid since their clothing was a tad different than the others.
"I'm sorry, but Master Diluc is out today," she answered. Her form was strict and firm, confirming that she was the head maid.
"So, where is he?" they asked once more. The head maid was confused, had this person not understood what she said? "He may not be here, yes, but I'm sure you know where he is."
The head maid was hesitant but comply to answer, "He is in the city as of now. If you so wish, I will inform Master Diluc that a person was looking for them."
"Eh? Really? Then I guess I'll wait here.." The head maid noted that this person was not someone to anger-- oh how she is praying to the Anemo Archon for her master to hurry. "Then would you like--.."
"What's going on here?" A familiar voice lifted the invisible weight of the maid. "Master Diluc, this person is looking for you."
"Hm? An uninvited guest? Well, sorry to inform you this, but I'm not meeting with anyone today. Please come again another time," Diluc said sternly.
The person was silent which confused Diluc. Then, "Are you really going to say that to me?" the person said and turned around with a grin. "Long time no see, Diluc."
"(Y-Y/N)? What are you doing here? I was not informed of your arrival," Diluc says with wide eyes of surprise.
"Hm? I'm sure I've mentioned it in the last letter.." you put a finger over your mouth, thinking about the last letter. "Oh, I must've forgotten, whoopsies." You stick out your tongue and lightly knock your head.
Diluc sighs and had ordered a couple servants to prepare a room for you. "I'm assuming you'd be staying for a while," he says and looks at you.
You nodded happily. "How have you been?" you say and walk beside him, looking at him from the corner of your eyes. "Okay. How about you?" You looked away from him and answered that you have been good as well, but just that there were things going on in Fontaine that made you travel all the way to Mondstadt. "Oh, you told me about the traveller in one of your letters-- are they still in Mondstadt?" you ask excitedly.
"They had left a couple of weeks ago. I believe they are in Liyue as of now," he answered which made you a bit sad. Being a vision user of hydro, you were curious how someone could have obtain an element without one.
"It's been a long travel, I assume," Diluc says as soon as you both got to the foot of what will be your room. "You rest well."
You nod. "Will you be free tomorrow? I want to go see the city with you," you say. "I'm afraid that I can't accompany you tomorrow but I'll have someone guide you throughout the city."
"Thank you, but I'll be fine with Ronan," you said to witch he nods and excused himself so you can rest.
-
"So, this is Mondstadt!?" You gazed around with an obvious awe. It had been so long that you had forgotten what it looked like. The wind blow pass gently and the atmosphere was very lively.
You roamed the place and caused many to look at you oddly but you were too busy running around to notice-- except your butler, who is having a hard time trying to catch up with you.
"Ronan, hurry up! We don't have all day." You turned to look at the old man with excitement. "I'm sorry for delaying you," Ronan says and caught up to you. Ronan had never seen you so excited before and he had guessed it was because you had finally gotten away from the mess at Fontaine. But, he was happy as well since he had never seen his master so free.
After hours of roaming, you finally gotten tired and wanted to grab lunch. You sat down outside of some restuarant and told Ronan to order food for you. "Um, you want me to order the whole menu? Are you sure?" Ronan asks, sweat dropping. You nodded and told him that you wanted to try all of Mondstadt's foods. Ronan excused himself from your presence and went to order.
You looked around and found the fourth bard today. "Mondstadt has a lot of bards.." you say to no one in particular. You were thinking of bringing one home to Fontaine, but you want the best bard.
"Agreed. Are you thinking of bringing one home?" An unfamiliar voice spooked you from behind and you looked over your shoulder to see a man with an eyepatch. His hair was a long blue that was tied and wore fur as a decoration on his shoulder. But, what got you curious was his eye.
"Um, who are you?" you ask, eyes following his every movement to him sitting down in front of you. "Kaeya," he answers, crossing his legs and arms. "I've heard that a foreigner has been running around today. Might that be you?"
"I guess? How often does Mondstadt have travellers coming?" you ask in pure curiosity. Kaeya chuckles. "Often, but mostly for the wine here," he answers and put his face on the back of his hands, leaning closer to you. "So, where did you come from?"
"From Fontaine," you answered. "Oh? That's quite the travel then. What made you come all the way to Mondstadt? Surely it isn't because of the wine," he asks, a light flickering pass his eye.
"You're right. I came here to visit my cousin." Just the thought of Diluc made you smile. "But he's busy today so I came to look for myself."
Ronan soon came back to your side. "Sorry for the wait, they had said that they will bring it over shortly," he said and you nodded. "Um, sorry for my rudeness, but may I ask who this man is?" Ronan looks at Kaeya.
"Oh, I don't know who he is either. He introduced himself as Kaeya," you said. Ronan pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. This occurred quite often back in Fontaine; someone random just casually walks and chats with you in public. Ronan warned you not to talk to other that is irrelevant but you don't listen. "It's fine. I think he's a nice person," you say and turned around to talk to Kaeya.
"Oh~ so it seems that you're someone not to be messed with," Kaeya said, eyeing Ronan. Ronan- despite his age- can fight as if he was in his prime life and Kaeya could see that. You two chatted throughout your lunch and parted not long after. When the two of you did, it was only then that Kaeya noticed that he hadn't gotten your name.
-
It was the second day of you touring Mondstadt and getting odd eyes from people. This time, you went near the cathedral to hear a certain bard sing. "Ronan, Ronan! Look, at that bard." You pull on your butler's sleeves repeatedly. "Yes, I am looking," Ronan said, tired at this point.
"Ah, just the person I was hoping to run into," a voice from the distance spoke and you and Ronan turned to your left to see Kaeya. "Mister Kaeya, hello!" you greeted enthusiastically.
"Are you interested in the bard?" he asks as he faced the short bard in green. "Yeah, I think he's way better than the other ones I've heard so far, even though it's a first that I've heard bards sing."
Kaeya stood silent for a while as if he was thinking of something. Then, "It's about lunch time, is it not? Want to grab a bite with me? There's a place that you probably haven't went to yet that serves good local food," Kaeya said to which you hurriedly nod your head.
When you got there, the smell was so strong that it made your stomach growl. "Haha, and here I thought that the food you ordered yesterday was enough for a week," Kaeya laughs. He ordered a couple of Mondstadt's most served food and both of you went to find a seat.
You chatted about the most randomness of things and also about you and the place you grew up in. It was quite the company, you admit. It would truly be sad if you left to go home anytime soon.
-
You had gotten to know Kaeya quite well throughout the two weeks you had spent with him and even consider him a friend. He was secretive at times which makes you question him but never pushed that thought.
"Ronan, I am your master, so you must obey me," you said and cross your arm. Ronan had pushed you to finally go home but you outright refused before he finished saying anything.
"Yes, I apologize for angering you," he said, putting a hand over his heart and bowing deeply. You had come to love Mondstadt and Ronan feared that you will never go home and stay with Kaeya thus was making a fuss of returning home to Fontaine, albeit he was happy that you finally get to rest from the chaos in Fontaine.
"You're forgiven. Now, let's go find Kaeya!" You walked away in your normal, speedy walk, excited to see Kaeya. After a while of searching, you couldn't find him anywhere in the usual spots. "Ronan, did Mister Kaeya say that he'd be somewhere today?"
"He did not. Perhaps he's busy today," answered Ronan which disappointed you. "Well, I guess we'll have to go bother Diluc today.." And that's what you did for today. When Diluc said that he'd take a day off for you at some point, you declined, saying that you were okay and that you met a person to company you while he was off at work, but now that Kaeya was not around, you thought that it was time to take him up on his word.
It wasn't until tomorrow that you finally got to meet up with Kaeya who excused himself as he was out on a short-notice mission.
"Did you miss me that much?" he asks, chuckling a bit. You nodded. "Yeah, I did. But, don't worry about yesterday; I still had my share of fun," you said in earnest. Kaeya was a bit caught off guard with how honest you had spoken but soon regained the smirk that everyone knows, and is either in love with or scared of. "My, you are quite honest," Kaeya points out. "You should be careful, (Y/N)."
"Hm? I'm not following you, Mister Kaeya," you said, "But if you mean that I can't handle myself, I'm a vision user as well so I can defend myself." You show him a determined fist and fiery eyes. Kaeya chuckles at your silly gesture. "That's not what I meant and could you drop the mister? Don't you think we can consider ourselves friends?" he says.
"Friends..?" The word you've heard multiple times out of other people's mouth, yet still foreign to you that Kaeya can practically see your gears churn inside your head. Then, "I've never had friends so will you be my first friend?" you ask. Kaeya smiles and reaches an arm across the table and ruffles your hair. "I'd love to."
---
Part two!
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fandom-imagines-for-days · 4 years ago
Note
So I have been reading your writing and I love it! I had an idea for a Tom Holland imagine! Basically the reader is about 5 years older than Tom and has been working on set with him for a while and Tom tries getting her to notice him. He gets frustrated after a few attempts and during a scene he has to stop and just blurts out his feelings.... idk a lot of angst and he kisses her so umm fluff? Do what you want with it just pls??? Thank you🖤🖤
Firstly, Thank you so much for requesting something, you have no idea how much this means to me. I hope I do you justice.
___
Pairing: Tom Holland x SetMakeupartist!Reader
Warnings: Fluff. Fluffffffff. Angst.
Summary: Above in the request
Request: Yes. A wonderous one. Very cute.
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Thank you so much for trusting me with this idea and I'm so so SO sorry I only got to it now. I have no idea how that happend and I'm so sorry again.
___
Walking into set on Monday was supposed to be as fun, but also mundane as the the rest of the movie. Wrapping up yesterday was thankfully early, but you had to reset the rubble scene, after the building collapse. Spiderman has just confronted the Vulture and it's one of the most inspirational, moving and heart-warming scenes in the movie. Tom had done the scene brilliantly, but the director wasn't pleased with the angles and makeup, which meant the entire thing had to be reset. You weren't apposed to the fact, but it was irritating when you knew that today was meant to be one of the last scenes. Sighing and going to get some coffee, you cleared your head and planned for the makeup job today.
As you rounded the corner to the food section of the set, Tom popped up out of practically nowhere. "Hey Y/N!" You jumped back in shock and clutched your chest.
"Jesus Tom, I know you're Spiderman but that doesn't mean you should scare me like one." You say, somewhat out of breath. He chuckles nervously and scratches the back of his head. "Sorry about that love," He says as his face creses into one of sympathy. "Didn't mean to scare you." His soft British accent was always lovely. You chuckle and pat his shoulder, continuing to walk. "It's all good, you ready for the shoot today?" You question, checking to see if the kettle is boiled. Tom almost rushes to get the milk for you. You thought it was rather sweet of him. "Yeah, of course I am! With your makeup everything will look fantastic!" He tells you, overly enthusiastic. His attitude to the set and his frequent compliments were endearing.
"Thank you Tom, but you're the one acting. Watching the scene last time broke my heart. You did it beautifully." You set to making your coffee, adding the hot water and gesturing to see if Tom wanted anything, he raised his hand as a polite response of "No thank you," before his cheeks flushed. "I'm glad you liked it. Everyone on set does their job so well. I'm really excited to see how this is going to turn out." He smiles in an attempt to hide the red on his cheeks. You smile back and finish making your coffee, taking in a long sip and walking off with a small wave.
You settled in your makeup section and collected everything you needed for today. You had to do Tom's makeup for the building dust and rubble. Michaels hair and makeup. Costume design would have them first and then you. You had a little system when you worked, getting things set up, double checking your brushes and pallets and powders. It's why they hired you, you were the best they were going to get. You hummed a little tune to yourself and turned to find Tom standing next to your set of drawers. You give him a smile.
"What do you need Tommo?" you asked happily, going about your work. He tried to say something, seeming rather nervous before dropping his hand and sighing, walking away. You frown and go back to working.
The directors decided to finish up bits of other scenes before redoing the building collapse scene again. So you saw Tom here and there for makeup and he would joke around, make some light conversation, try to speak and then drop it. It was getting really strange and you weren't too sure what to think of it. Was he okay? Did something happen? You were going to ask him next time you saw him. It was worrying you. He was a really sweet guy and you had a slight crush on him, but you knew it would never happen, so you kept the relationship friendly and professional. That and you were five years older than him, you weren't sure what everyone would think of that.
Throughout different scenes or sections, Tom would call to get your attention and then do some kind of cool Gymnastics trick or tell a joke. He was so happy yet so weirdly quite. What was up with him today? You had to admit, that he was an incredibly talented young man. Age twenty one and he was staring in this movie, he starred in Civil War and would probably be staring in many more. His skills as an actor, performer and Gymnast were spectacular and you enjoyed watching all of his stunts. Sometimes you got the impression that he wanted to get you to notice him or be impressed with him, and you were, so you weren't sure why he kept getting frustrated at little things.
His mood inflated and deflated like a very bi-polar balloon and by the time everything was ready for the shoot, he was somehow rather irritated.
Tom was set underneath the 'Rubble', cute "homemade" suit adorned and the cameras were just about to roll. You stood off to the side, watching everything get the finishing touches before "Action." Was yelled and everyone fell silent.
All eyes were on Tom, his movements and every breath he took. Right now Spiderman was stuck underneath the rubble of a collapsed building and he needed to get out. He needed to believe in himself.
You could only imagine what must be going through his mind. Even though everything was fake, the idea was still horrifying. The moment was tense and only got worse when he suddenly blurted out: "Jesus Christ." In his American accent. Everyone faltered. "I'm sorry." He muttered to everyone before he called out: "Y/N!" The cameras cut and you were ushered over to the mound of rubble. "I'm sorry." He said again, his accent slipping. You crouched beside him and the rubble was moved for him to sit up on his knees. No one said anything and you focused on Tom instead of acknowledging the fact that everyone was watching you two. You breathed carefully, worried as to what could be wrong. Was he angry with you? Is so, why?
"Why do you keep apologising. What's wrong?" You say, a little too harshly.
"I want you to notice me." He says in a soft voice. "I just. I really really. Fuck why is this so hard." He curses to himself. Your knees were getting tired from crouching so you went to kneel like Tom was doing. "What is?" Someone asks from behind you two in a gruff voice.
"Admitting that I have feelings for Y/N." He blubbers out, gesturing to you and immediately feeling like an idiot. You were utterly taken aback. He had. Feelings? For you? Preposterous. Insane. Not possible.
"I'm sorry what?" You asked as politely as possible, watching him for any kind of movement. "I like you okay." He admitted, his tone hushed. "I think you are so talented and beautiful and I just. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to make you smile and laugh and feel happy and I didn't know how to say it. Since the movie started and-" he was cut off when he looked at your face. It was curled in an expression he wasn't sure of. Tension hung in the air like cigarette smoke on a cold day -almost visible, tangible.
"I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. Let's reset this and I." He stopped himself. "Y/N." You nodded. "You aren't upset with me are you?"
"Of course I'm upset with you." You spout out, a little annoyed but mostly elated. He looked shocked. "I like you too you moron." You say. The rest of the crew just looked at eachother, they thought that this should be a different movie.
"You. You what?" He asked back, disbelief written all over his features.
"You heard me Thomas." You say, almost playfully.
"You are amazing." He tells you breathlessly. "Can I kiss you?" Before he even finishes his sentence you grab him by the front of his suit and draw him into a kiss. He melts into it instantly and gasps are heard around you, but caring wasn't on the agenda.
Finally you two pulled away. "We'll discuss this after work okay?" You mutter softly. He nodded, biting his lip. The room went into little mutters and you walked back to your original position, out of the shot of the camera and near the directors.
"Took you two long enough to do that." One of them said, lounging back in their chair. You gave him a shocked look.
"Yeah, it was obvious." The other agreed. "Lets not make a habit of kissing in the middle of scenes though, yeah?" He offered. You flush a bright shade of red and nod, sharing a look with Tom.
Things were finally going to be very fun at work.
___
I'm sorry it was so short. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know!
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dwellordream · 3 years ago
Text
the best laid plans
day 1 for @wayhavensummer because this is the only prompt I'll have time to do this week!
T Rating (for one brief mention of sex and one brief reference to emotional abuse) Felix x Detective Esme Kingston, 2300 words
The migraine cuts her to her core, and Esme can’t even manage the usual dose of guilt and hesitance she’d feel about canceling plans with Tina. They were supposed to go away this weekend, and Esme hasn’t been on a vacation since uni, but right now she couldn’t even make her way out of her flat, never mind into a car for a seven hour drive down the coast. 
She feels like vomiting, the pain is so intense, as if she’d been concussed. Migraines have been a constant for her since puberty; she has a vivid memory of her first one, when she was thirteen, and the long wait in the nurse’s office at the private school her mother paid so much money for. The same mother who eventually sent someone else to pick her up, ninety minutes after the first phone call. 
Esme doesn’t even remember who it was; some Agency intern? A vampire? A demon? Whoever it was, they brought her home, gave her some painkillers, and told her to sleep it off. She woke up hours later, in the middle of the night, to a still empty house. Rebecca had come home briefly to leave a note for her about some leftovers in the fridge and another one excusing her from school the next day if need be, and then gone straight back to work. 
Maybe Esme should have been outraged or hurt by this, but she doesn’t recall feeling much of anything at the time beyond hunger, when the pain had finally receded enough to think straight. She ate the leftovers cold in their sterile, silent kitchen, and put herself back to bed.
The migraines had intensified through high school, to the point where her mother considered putting her on permanent medication, before receding just before she went away to university. After that they were far more infrequent, which was both a blessing and a curse- it was easy to forget what the pain felt like, and to feel like it was weak, lazy of her to let it get the best of her. 
Bobby certainly didn’t help matters; the first one Esme had during their relationship came around shortly after they’d had sex for the first few times, and Bobby quickly became convinced this was her version of ‘not tonight, dear, I have a headache-’. That she was, for some ludicrous reason, exaggerating her migraines. 
If she didn’t want to have sex with him, she’d never had much of an issue saying as much, bluntly, clinically. Another thing he despaired of- her lack of social graces, her insistence on saying exactly what she meant, in her usual ‘ice queen’ manner. Now he had reason to call her frigid in more ways than one. 
Esme still isn’t sure how things between them ever lasted as long as seven torturous months. She assumes they both had a private masochistic streak- why else would two people who made one another so blatantly unhappy stay together? 
Bobby isn’t here now, of course, to whinge and moan about her ignoring him, but there’s still a little voice in her head telling her to get up and stop acting like a baby when the evening rolls around. The pain has greatly lessened, thankfully, and she’s hungry, which is usually a good sign, but she’s also exhausted and cranky and generally miserable, feeling as though an entire day was wasted, one she could have spent with her best friend, on her way to a vacation. 
Now, again, she is alone in a dark room. She slowly rolls over onto her side, bracing for a wave of pain or nausea, then pushes herself up onto her elbows and gropes at her night table for her phone. She has several missed calls and texts. Two from Tina, one from her mother, and one from Felix, which is the most recent, about thirty minutes ago. 
Felix H: omw over to drop stuff off. 30 min???
She checks the time, then jumps, almost bashing her head into the headboard, when she hears a quiet knock at her door. For a moment Esme considers lying back down and not answering it; Felix can be persistent but he would never try to break her door down, especially when he knows she’s ill. 
Then she clambers out of bed, some instinct driving her, a desperate kind of loneliness- for an instant tears spring to her eyes, as if she were a child again, terrified of being left alone, that she will just miss him, that she will pull open the door and he will already be gone-
“Ez?”
He’s right there when she yanks open the door, the chain still in place. Esme undoes it and pulls the door open all the way. Felix is staring at her, a small bag of groceries in hand. Vampires have far better temperature regulation than humans but it’s obvious he is feeling the heat; for once he’s not wearing a beanie or any kind of hat or cap at all. 
He’s gotten his hair braided recently; Esme looks at him for a moment, staggered by the fact, as always, that even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of her narrow hallway. Felix’s dark skin has a sheen all its own, magnified by his golden eyes. 
He prods her shoulder gently with the pad of his thumb. “If you faint on me, I’m gonna drop your gifts.”
“My gifts?” Esme shakes her head, leading the way back into her darkened flat. It’s much more cluttered than usual; she never finished packing for the trip she was supposed to take today. 
Felix does not reach for a light switch; he has perfect vision in the dark, and light from the parking lot is spilling through her blinds. Instead he sets the bag on her counter and sorts through it as enthusiastically as Santa Claus on Christmas, or a child sorting through their Halloween candy. 
“Min tea,” he says, “cold packs, squash, sweet potatoes, brown rice, dried cranberries…”
“Did you just look up ‘what to eat and drink for a migraine’?” Esme manages to ask, bemused. 
He looks up, a sheepish smile quirking at his soft lips. “If I say yes…”
“I’m impressed,” she says. “And.. thank you. Very much. You didn’t have to do this.”
“I didn’t have to supply my ailing girlfriend with nutritious food and drink?” he waves the bottle of mint teat in her face vigorously. 
“Ailing? I’m not eighty five years old, Felix.”
“That’s right, I’m the old man here,’ he cackles, then amends, “Or, will be. Technically we’re not that far apart in age but eventually when you start decaying-,”
“Decaying?” As usual, his word choice both horrifies and amuses her. 
Felix has even less of a filter than her, but with the opposite effect. She comes across as cold and controlling. He comes across as… well, ‘space cadet’ has been used a few times, but Esme likens it to a time traveler. Only, not from the past, and not quite from the future. A parallel visitor. Something out of the Twilight Zone, only… warm and colorful and eager to please. That’s Felix.
He shrugs. “Succumbing to the elements?”
“I’m not a castle,” she mutters, but pours herself a cup of cold mint tea. Will it be as good as if she’d brewed it herself here at home, no, but at the moment she doesn’t care. 
He puts the rest away in her small fridge while she drinks, leaving out the cranberries, then circles warily, as if approaching a wild animal, when she finishes off her cup. “Can I-,” his fingers ghost along the back of her neck. The hairs there raise and she shivers violently, but not in fear or pain. 
“Yes,” she murmurs, then leans back into his embrace as he wraps his arms around her. 
They scuttle over to the sofa like that, and ease down together. Felix is not terribly tall, and she is average height, so there’s scarcely a few inches between them. Esme has always liked that. All the others she’s been with had towered over her, and it made her feel spoilt and delicate in an undesirable, bratty kind of way, as if she were childish, some little princess to be coddled and indulged. Or maybe that’s just her projecting onto everything else that makes up a relationship besides height differences. 
For now, she is content to lie back so her head rests against Felix’s, cheek to cheek. His is silken smooth; she knows he is fastidious about shaving, the same as her. 
“You’re feeling better, though?” he murmurs, and snakes a hand under her pyjama top as if to check. Splayed warm against her belly, it tickles for an instant and she smiles. 
“Yes. It’s mostly passed. I’m just tired. And annoyed. Tina was really looking forward to this trip. She’ll still have fun by herself, but it was supposed to be the two of us, and I’m always canceling plans.”
“You are not,” says Felix, reasonably. “You’re just busy. And you couldn’t help it this time, you were sick. She knows that.”
Esme nods; for all his jokes and quips, Felix is always sensible in a manner that she finds comforting- stating the obvious isn’t such a bad thing when dealing with someone like her. 
“I hate being sick,” she murmurs, rolling onto her side so she can rest her cheek on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her more securely, even intertwines their legs. Felix sleeps like this too, though at this point he’s only spent the night a few times. 
Esme is taking things as slowly as she dares, given all the other factors at play- her mother, their work, the rest of the team, the fact that he is a vampire from another dimension and she is the human equivalent of dry toast… 
“I kind of like it,” Felix confesses, with just enough lilt in his voice that she knows he’s half teasing.
Esme grumbles vengefully into his shirt. He smells like coconut butter and vanilla. She doesn’t know if that’s his aftershave or just the essence of Felix, refined to the purest degree. Sometimes he smells like cinnamon to her, or lavender and honeysuckle. 
Felix tolerates these assessments but likes to claim that it’s him producing some kind of super pheromones perfectly designed for luring in unsuspecting human prey. Or his girlfriend. Or both. 
Esme has not been anyone’s girlfriend in a long time. Years. It feels very strange. Before him, it’d been so long since she’d even touched anyone, besides Tina or her mother or shaking hands. That absence did not hurt Esme. But being with Felix is like an unexpected delight. Free dessert. Extra sprinkles on your sundae. Any number of juvenile metaphors she should be above, but isn’t. 
“You’re not going to ask why I like it?” He is winding his fingers through her hair, which she let down from its usual tight ponytail to ease the tension on her scalp.
“Because you like to mock me?” she ventures.
“No,” says Felix. “Because you would have gone away with Tina, and now I get to see you. And hold you.” He presses an astoundingly gentle kiss to her brow, like a feather.
Esme feels a queer stab of guilt. “I didn’t know you’d minded so much.”
“I don’t mind,” he says quickly. “I was happy for you to get away for once. I’m not going to third wheel you and your best friend.”
“I think the terms refers to the opposite-,”
“Hush hush,” he interrupts, which gets a giggle out of her. “But this is like… an unexpected delight.”
The back of her neck prickles. “Can you read minds?” she asks, half serious.
“Not yet,” he sounds smug. “I have great intuition.”
“Because you’re a vampire?”
“No, because I’m me,” he boasts. “Look at Ava’s intuition. Terrible.”
Esme laughs again. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“She’s always expecting the worse. And Nat swings in the other direction. Always wants to play nice and hug it out.”
“And Mason?” Esme teases, feeling energetic enough not to raise her head so her chin is on his chest. Their noses are almost touching.
“Eh… he’s alright,” Felix breathes, and then closes the gap with a kiss. 
Esme kisses him back, more passionately than she’d meant to, and only stops it when he starts to sit up so she is straddling his lap. 
“I don’t think I can…”
“Eat some cranberries?” He grins impishly and hands her the bag from the coffee table.
Esme smiles and bumps her forehead against his, something she did impulsively after their first kiss and which he never let her live down. 
“What are we, cats?” he says, on cue, but brushes his nose and lips down her cheek and onto her neck, as if to nuzzle her in turn. “Eat some fruit before your migraine comes back. Do you want me to put some of this stuff away?”
“No,” she says, pushing him back down on the sofa. “Just- stay with me, please?”
“Alright,” he agrees, amiable as ever, and reaches for the remote. “This can be like our vacation, yeah? The Felix and Esme Show. The Fezme Show-,”
“No,” she groans, but wriggles off him to curl up beside him instead, a handful of cranberries rising to her mouth as he flips through the channels.
He settles on an episode of Columbo. Felix hasn’t really seen much in the way of TV, and so reruns mean nothing to him. But it means everything to her. They keep the volume on very low, and he gets up at one point to open the windows more, even as the faint sounds of the parking lot outside drift in- the buzz of the lights, doors opening and closing, the crunch of gravel. 
Esme falls asleep sagging onto him, cranberries in her lap, mouth half open while Felix watches, riveted in the light of the screen, as the detective closes the case.
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theawkwardterrier · 4 years ago
Note
How about 14 + 21, dealer's choice pairing?
On This Thanksgiving Day
Prompt: Stuck together for a long period of time/“They’re wrong about you.”
Summary: Sloan’s first time meeting Don’s family doesn’t go particularly well. (The dialogue came to me in Thomas Sadoski’s voice, so I guess the dealer wanted Don/Sloan for you, Sarah.)
“Apparently we don’t have very good luck on trips together,” Sloan says, although not precisely to him. She’s facing out the window, as if she can see anything other than pitch blackness - as if there would be anything to see, even in the daylight. They hadn’t made it much past Derby-Shelton when the train had broken down; he’d guess that if they could see more than darkness and their own reflections, they’d mostly be staring out at Naugatuck State Forest.
Which might offer a distraction to make things a bit less awkward, but not by much.
“I’m not exactly in a hurry to get anywhere this time,” he says, trying for humor. “Luckily there isn’t much urgent news to report on Thanksgiving.”
“There isn’t always much urgent news to report on May 1 of any given year.”
“Well, sometimes we just get lucky.”
She turns toward him then. Her hair, which she had taken down from whatever fancy style it had been pinned up in earlier, swings forward, briefly obscuring her face. “Is that how you feel? Lucky?”
“I feel lucky with you every day,” he says truthfully. He can’t tell if she believes him. Either way, she does not smile, although after the day they’ve had, he wouldn’t really expect her to.
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It had been an easy decision to ask Sloan to come home with him. Her parents retired to Arizona the previous January, and if it already didn’t make much sense for her to fly across the country for barely a weekend, they had told her months ago that her brothers would be at their in-laws, they had no plans on cooking, and they were booked for mixed doubles with the Drummers on Friday.
Don’s family, by contrast, would all be gathering back at his childhood home, a quick couple of hours on the Metro-North. He and Sloan had been dating for over a year now. It would have made sense to ask her even if she wasn’t facing down a holiday weekend of takeout and economics journals alone in her apartment (regardless of the fact that she had set aside a few of the “best issues” to enjoy).
He knew it was a mistake from the moment they walked in the door.
Despite his mother’s thanks, it was clear that she thought the bottle of wine Sloan had picked out was pretentious, and she eyed the sheath dress Sloan wore, with its gray, black, and white geometric design, as if deciding precisely how excessively formal it was for a small family gathering. Don, having seen Sloan’s closet, could have told her that this was one of the more informal options, at least not counting workout clothes or lingerie, but started in on small talk instead before offering Sloan a tour of the house.
Those few moments of watching her smile at the pictures of him hanging along the hallway - round in a Christmas sweater at age three, a gawky, grinning advertisement for the necessity of orthodontia at twelve, only slightly less gawky and slightly more grinning in his high school graduation photo - and hearing her tease about what embarrassing poster had once been taped in the large, discolored place above his bed...it still wasn’t quite enough to get him through the rest of the day.
Sloan didn’t watch whatever show his mom and sister and sister-in-law were going back and forth about, and she had little interest in entertaining the brigade of Keefer kids roaming around. She furrowed her brow as she sat next to Don in the family room and tried to get him to explain all the minutiae of football even as the others were trying to watch the Eagles. She was perfectly polite, asking questions of everyone and telling them about her family, her work, her interests when asked, but it was obvious from the glances traded around the table that the others noticed the slight hitch to her cadence and the way she didn’t always laugh at the jokes being told, and that it mattered to them.
As they dug into turkey and Mom’s excellent stuffing and terrible sweet potato pie, his dad (who clearly didn’t think the wine pretentious, or at least not enough to be a problem) started talking about how all he saw on the news these days was these protests, and of course it was a shame when things went wrong, but cops were just trying to protect themselves and didn’t need to be lectured by those who didn’t know what it was like on the ground day to day - he had friends who were cops, and they were just trying to do right and get home to their families, and was it any wonder they had to react like they did, considering the damage being done out in the streets? Don, who had tried and eventually learned to bite his tongue when it came to this conversation, placed a hand on Sloan’s knee, but she went ahead anyway, citing statistics and studies and historical precedent, all while the others looked at her as if she was exactly the kind of person by whom they didn’t want to be lectured.
Still, they might have been able to push through, except that Don’s brother cornered him on the way back from the bathroom and asked...well, Don’s blocked out the exact wording, but the implication was that he wondered if the pictures he’d seen of Sloan online did her justice.
After Don had punched Rich, sticking around for Black Friday brunch and leftovers didn’t seem to be in the cards.
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“I can be a little bit of an acquired taste,” Sloan says, leaning forward and resting her forearms on her thighs. “I know that might be shocking, considering how charming I am—”
“Exactly the word I’d use.”
She throws him a glare for the dry tone, but he’s glad for it; it makes her look a bit more like herself. “So, I’m used to not always being liked. But they...I was really not liked back there.”
“They’re wrong about you.” The carriage is empty except for them - luckily for those who don’t want to be trapped on a broken down train, the middle of the evening on Thanksgiving doesn’t seem an especially popular time to travel into the city - and they had been able to take seats facing each other. He leans toward her, but does not take her hand. “Hey. They’re wrong about you. You know that, right? Sure, you’re single-minded, a little bit weird, a frequent pain in my ass—”
“I have yet to hear the part about them being wrong.”
“—but you’re also kind and loyal and wildly ethical and the smartest person I know and pretty solidly better than I deserve. And I just happen to be related to a bunch of assholes who can’t recognize that.”
Her knee bumps against his. “I imagine Christmas is going to be a pain when you have to spend time with a bunch of assholes.”
“Christmas was already a pain for that and many other reasons,” he says. “And honestly, maybe I won’t go back for it. Maybe I won’t go back next Thanksgiving either.”
She doesn’t look at him like he’s crazy. Instead, her face folds into concentration, as if she is trying to figure out a puzzle. Slowly she says, “I don’t know that you can just give up on your family because of the one time that they weren’t nice to your girlfriend.”
“They’ve never been nice to my girlfriends because, again, they’re assholes.” He settles against his seatback and makes sure she is looking at him before he says, “I’ll probably end up seeing them again because I’m not quite lucky enough in life to avoid it. But when I have the choice, I want to spend as much time as I can with the family that taught me to be better than them. So maybe next year we’ll rope Mac and Will into eating dry turkey with us - or hey, he can probably swing for some that actually tastes good.”
“You know that Mac will make us say things that we’re thankful for, and she and Will are going to get into an argument about the legacy of Thanksgiving even though they essentially agree with each other.”
“Well, maybe we’ll cook—” Her eyebrow raise is sharp and perfect as always. “Okay, we’ll get takeout together. Because I swear to God, Sloan, sitting around having popcorn shrimp with you sounds like a much better time than anything involving my mother’s pecan pie.”
“I was actually looking forward to the pie,” she says a little longingly, but she moves to sit in the seat beside him and lean her head on his shoulder, not even startling as the PA system crackles to overly loud life.
“Sorry, folks, we’re going to have to go dark here for a sec as we try to get things back online, but we hope to have you on your way shortly.”
“Hey,” Don says in the moment before the lights go out. “You know that I’m thankful for this, don’t you? Just getting to be here with you.”
“No one’s thankful for a train breakdown, Don,” she says, voice sounding as if she’s shaking her head at him. And he can feel the stupid smile coming over his face anyway as the overheads power off, leaving them with only the eerie emergency lighting. Who knows how long they’ll have to sit here like this considering the amount of faith he has in the MTA? He rests his head on top of Sloan’s. He can wait. They’ll get home together eventually.
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fandom-imagines · 5 years ago
Text
The Assassin and The Spy
Fandom: Overwatch
Pairing: Hanzo Shimada X Reader
Words: 7k+ (It’s a long one)
Authors Note: Okay, this got a bit out of hand; but, I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Hanzo Shimada is a strong, tall and charming Overwatch Agent from Hanamura. His life is going downhill until he meets Y/N Y/S/N, an attractive woman with a passion for gaming .Hanzo takes an instant disliking to Y/N and the manipulative and intense ways she learnt during her years in Kings Row, London. However, when someone tries to kill Hanzo, Y/N springs to the rescue and Hanzo begins to notice that Y/N is actually rather sweet at heart. But, the pressures of Y/N’s job as a spy leave her blind to Hanzo’s affections and Hanzo takes up numerous hobbies to try and distract himself. Finally, when dangerous assassin and Talon member, Gabriel Reyes, threatens to come between them, Y/N must act fast. But will they ever find the love that they deserve?
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The wind blew viciously as Y/N wandered the streets of Hanamura, Japan, her jet-black leather jacket wrapped tightly around her chest, almost crushing her body in a vain attempt to keep herself warm. 
She had been sent there on a recent mission by her higher-ups, whoever they were, to find Overwatch agent, Hanzo Shimada along with his younger brother Genji Shimada. 
She had no idea what those two had done, besides their obvious affiliation with Overwatch, the group who defended the world from evil, but she did know that this was her job and, as well as that, she was getting paid extremely well for this one simple task. 
The streets themselves were empty, most people remaining indoors to keep themselves distant from the wind and upcoming rain, but Y/N did not care too much about silly, unimportant things such as the weather. No, she knew exactly what she was doing and what she wanted.
The money.
As stated previously, the spy had no idea who these men were or what they did in order to have such a huge bounty on their heads by those who ordered her services. She assumed that it must be something of importance considering the huge reward she was offered in order to infiltrate Overwatch and get close to those two brothers, mostly Genji was what she recalled being told before she was flown to Hanamura, the birthplace of the two men. 
Despite having never visited before, this place made her feel like she was home, something she had never experienced. She felt almost drawn to this place, as though she was supposed to be here. Well, she was in theory. 
Y/N had no idea where she was heading as she walked around the city, taking in all the beautiful blossoms falling from the trees that outlined each street. It isn’t often a busy spy got the opportunity to enjoy the sites of a new city, after all. With each step she took, she got more and more bored, her lips pulled into a straight, unamused line as she cursed whoever gave her the order to come here without any further instructions. 
It was then that she spotted a gathering in the distance.
Masses of people were crowded together, some shoving others as they did their best to reach the tents the were littered around, what the spy assumed to be, a field. Further on Y/N could see some metal, which was obviously something to do with roller coasters, or so she assumed having not been on any in her life, been raised to be a spy from a young age. 
Face neutral, she headed forward, hoping that the walk wouldn’t be too tedious. 
*
It was around twenty minutes after spotting the gathering that she finally reached it. 
It was, in fact, a tedious walk only made more tedious by her not wanting to follow the guided route and risk coming across others that would question her. Instead, she decided to climb onto a high roof, nobody being able to see her, and looked forward.
She let out a hum as he realised that it was only a few rooftops away, immediately setting off into a run then followed by a jump and a quiet thud and she skillfully landed on her feet on the next rooftop. This then continued until she dropped from the final one, landing carefully on the ground just meters away from the place she had seen. 
“Well, that was easy.” She whispered to herself, unaffected by the extensive exercise that she had done just mere moments ago as she just continued walking. 
Once she reached the area, she took a proper look around.
She was right, there were rides, if that’s what they’re called here, and tents everywhere. People walked through the entrances of the tents, some entering with empty hands but excitement on their faces while others left the tent, hands full but still with the same look of excitement, if not more as the grins filled their faces.
The Y/H/C haired girl turned around, spotting a makeshift bar and restaurant behind her, also surrounded by people who were peacefully enjoying their food which smelt delicious. Her eyes scanned further past, seeing two men stood behind the bar, out of view for everyone but her. One man had long brown hair that was tied up neatly, he was quite handsome she noted to herself before her eyes darted towards the other man, immediately knowing his identity.
Genji Shimada.
Which meant that the other man is most likely his older brother, Hanzo. 
“Found you,” Y/N whispered through her painted lips, before quietly walking towards the two to hear their conversation, remaining unnoticed by those around her.
“Hanzo, you can’t be serious?” The cyborg groaned, shaking his head in disapproval.
“It had to be done,” The man, who she now knew was definitely Hanzo, spoke, “We don’t know where father is.” 
“Fine.” Genji sighed, eyes darting towards Y/N who had been too interested in their conversation to notice that her foot was only slightly in view.
Hanzo noticed his brother didn’t continue his sentence, instead looking towards something Hanzo couldn’t see. The long-haired man stepped forward, walking towards his brother so he could see what he was seeing. This was when Y/N’s eyes widened, knowing she had been caught.
“Come out, stalker.” Hanzo’s deep voice called, as she slammed her eyes closed.
“Don’t be mean, Hanzo.” Genji interrupted, walking towards Y/N who was slightly more relaxed now, having come up with an idea.
“S-sorry.” She faked stuttered, “It’s just, I’m looking for someone I was supposed to meet here but, he hasn’t shown.” Continued Y/N, awkwardly twiddling with her fingers in hopes that it would increase the fake awkwardness that was radiating from her.
“Someone?” Hanzo asked, not completely convinced at her story.
“Yeah… A date, if you can even call him that now.” A chuckle left the girls lips as she looked slightly afraid at their reactions, despite being the opposite. 
“Come on, Hanzo!” Genji said, placing a hand on the elder’s shoulder, “We can’t leave such a pretty lady on her own. What’s your name?” 
Great, they fell for it. She grinned inwardly.
“Y-Y/N.” She fake stuttered again, holding her hand out for the cyborg to shake.
“Genji! It’s nice to meet you.” He nodded, shaking her hand. “This is Hanzo. Ignore his rudeness, he’s not good around new people.”
Y/N simply giggled, “That’s fine. I know how that is.” She winked at Hanzo who simply looked away, a small blush on his cheeks. 
“Come, Y/N. Let me show you around.” Genji said excitedly, gently grasping her hand in his own metal one. 
“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I don’t want to intrude on your business.” Y/N said, fake tenderness crawling on her tongue. Despite the manipulation she was currently doing, it didn’t mean she didn’t blush at the unexpected contact from the younger Shimada. 
“I agree.” Hanzo cleared his throat as he looked intently at Y/N with a warning glare, almost as if he knew she was manipulating his younger brother.
He did.
“Don’t be mean, Hanzo!” Genji scolded, “Come along, Y/N.” And with that Genji dragged the smaller girl away, leaving Hanzo with no choice but to follow them. 
*
Genji and Y/N wandered through the crowds, hands still interwind. Y/N’s hair flowing in the wind as it blew through her, occasionally shivering at the gusts. The blush that dusted her cheeks was still there, Hanzo noticed this as he trailed behind them, not wanting to leave his brother that he cared so deeply for alone with this girl. 
“How did you come to see this festival then, Y/N?” Genji asked, making the girl internally panic despite her face remaining the same smile plastered on, “I haven’t seen you around here before.” 
“Well, I’ve had an online boyfriend for a few months now. He claimed to live here so I booked a ticket to come see him and he seemed excited, but he didn’t show even though he said that he would meet me here.” The lies slipped without hesitation from her lips, “I don’t know why I’m telling you actually, never mind.” 
“No, no. Keep talking.” Genji nodded in encouragement, seemingly genuinely interested in this story. 
“I was born in London,” was the first truth the spy told since she had met Genji, “I’ve lived there all my life, but I travel a lot.” Another truth, despite having left out that she travels for work. She definitely didn’t want to be asked about her job. No, that was the last thing she wanted.
They continued walking for a while, Hanzo still casually strolling behind them like a stalker, until they stopped outside a tent. 
“What’s in there?” Y/N’s voice left a pitch higher than usual; the physical contact was having an obvious effect on her that she didn’t wish to share. 
“Stickers,” Genji chuckled, finger raised towards the stall towards the end of the tent that was selling stickers, “want some?” He asked her, not waiting for an answer before tugging her into the tent and towards the stall.
On the wall behind the actual stall lay hundreds, maybe even thousands, of stickers. Each sticker had a different design, some were big, others were small while some were huge, almost big enough that they could be stuck on someone’s face. The stickers designs ranged from just a casual colour to a detailed cherry blossom that she had seen earlier the same day. 
“Which one do you want?” Genji asked her, looking around them himself as though he wished to purchase one.
“I don’t have much money.” She admitted, telling the truth again.
She didn’t think she’d be here long, so she didn’t carry much money on her. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay!” Genji chuckled, patting her on the hair, making sure that the strands did not get stuck in the cybernetic joints. 
“I can’t let you do that.” Y/N’s head shook immediately, only increasing in speed as she spoke.
Genji chuckled again, kissing her on the forehead leaving her eyes wide and speechless.
“I-I…” She blushed, eyes darting to the floor.
Had anyone been looking into that situation, they would have assumed that the two had a thing for each other. Hanzo, who was in fact watching the entire display knew that she harboured no feelings for her brother, despite her supposed kindness. He knew it was all manipulation and that there was something about her, something that he could not quite put his finger on, but he wanted to know; he needed to know. Genji? Well, he wouldn’t exactly deny the fact that he thought she was cute. But neither Hanzo, nor Genji knew her well enough for either of them to harbour feelings. They had only known her for less than an hour after all. 
“Come on, let’s get matching ones.” Genji cheered, walking towards the lady who was serving customers to order three: one for Y/N, one for himself and one for Hanzo.
“Here you go!” Genji nodded when he returned, sticking one onto the blushing girls’ jacket, before calling over for Hanzo to give him his own.
“Here we go, now we’re all matching!” The words that were leaving Genji’s mouth were filled with excitement, almost making Hanzo and Y/N genuinely smile, but neither did. 
“Brother,” Hanzo spoke for the first time since meeting the girl, “should we not return? We are busy tomorrow.” 
Genji sighed before responding, “I suppose so. But we shall see you again, Y/N?” He asked, earning a nod for the questioned girl. 
“If you very so wish.” She winked at him, grinning slightly as she gently poked the sticker on his chest in a teasing manner at which Genji chuckled. “I’m staying at a nearby hotel, call me if you need me.” She finished, handing him a card with her number on which she always carried, giving them both a final wink before turning around to leave, both brothers eyes unmoving from her until she faded into the distance.
*
“You shouldn’t see her again.” Were Hanzo’s first words as the door slammed shut behind them.
“Why not?” Genji asked, curious as to why his brother was being extremely protective.
“She is manipulating you.” The elder stated bluntly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Could you not see it?” 
“You seemed to like her enough,” Genji teased, referring to the blushing from his brother at the girl’s actions.
“Enough, Genji. I will not allow you to be manipulated like this.”
“No, Hanzo. I will not allow you to prevent me from becoming friends with somebody due to your paranoia.” Genji stated blankly as he turned to leave, “Goodnight, Hanzo.”
The door slammed shut.
*
Ringing.
That is all Y/N could hear when she left the bathroom, hair wet as droplets rolled down her bare body which was only covered by a beige towel.
“Hello?” Y/N asked, answering the call to an unknown number as she moved to seat herself on the hotel bed, beginning to dry off.
“Hey, it’s Genji.” The unknown person spoke, now identifying himself as one of the men she had met earlier today.
“Hey, Genji.” She smiled, a genuine smile, despite knowing that he could not see. She couldn’t believe that she was actually happy to know that he had called. 
“I know this might be a bit… cheeky.” He began awkwardly, to the point that she could feel his hesitance through the phone, “But, I don’t suppose I could stay with you tonight, could I? I had an argument with Hanzo, and I don’t want to be around him right now.” He admitted, nervously running his hand across the back of his neck, a habit that followed him into adulthood. 
“Sure! I’ll text you the details.”
“Thank you, see you soon.” 
Soon was extremely soon. In fact, that soon that Y/N was still in her towel by the time he arrived. The cyborg must have immense speed, she assumed as she opened the door.
“Hey, Y-Y/N…” Genji stuttered as the door swung open, revealing a wet-haired, towel wearing Y/N.
“Hey, Genji.” She answered with confidence, seemingly unfazed about answering the door to a male in simply a towel. “Come in. I’m just going to change.” The door swung open as Genji followed, doing his best to not watch her enter the bathroom. 
*
Y/N re-entered the main room of the hotel she was staying in, this time wearing a pair of shorts and a vest top as she seated herself on the double bed beside Genji, the two sitting in silence for a few moments, both mindlessly watching whatever show was now playing on the television opposite the bed.
“Genji?” Y/N sweet voice broke the silence causing Genji’s eyes to dart towards her own, looking deep into them.
“Yes, Y/N?” He asked her, head tilted slightly like a confused puppy.
“There’s only one bed.” She grinned cheekily, nodding towards the bed and the fact that, despite the expensive price of the hotel, there was no couch.
“I-I can just…” Genji trailed off, taking Y/N’s words as flirting, which they were.
“You can share with me, don’t worry.” She chuckled as she shot him a slight wink, still flirting despite having no attraction to Genji. In fact, if she were to be interested in either of the Shimada brothers, it would be Hanzo. He was the one she noted as attractive upon first meeting them.
“Are you sure?” Genji asked her, twiddling with his fingers in nervousness. “I don’t want to intrude…”
“You’re not don’t worry. I know we just met, but I trust you.” She smiled, being genuine with her words. 
She did know that Genji had no intention of hurting her. She was smart; that was why she was good at her job. She knew how to sweet talk people, read those around her and use what she reads to her advantage. This was what lead her to be one of the top spies global, being given tasks all around the globe. 
“Thank you.”
*
The night was calm, spent discussing random topics that the two thought of in their mind until the pair drifted off to sleep, bundled together in a platonic way, or as platonic as two people cuddling can be. Neither Genji nor Y/N had any intentions to do anything, they were simply just two friends spending the night together, sharing a bed because there is no couch.
Normal things like that.
However, Genji was wondering what he could say to Hanzo upon his return.
“Hi, Hanzo. I just spent the night sharing a bed with the girl you dislike. How are you?” Didn’t exactly seem a good choice in his mind. It wouldn’t sound good in anyone’s.
“Morning, Genji.” Y/N yawned, patting her messy hair flat as she sat up.
“Good morning, Y/N.” He chuckled, helping her adjust her hair. “How did you sleep?” 
“Are you really making small talk with me?” She teased, patting Genji on the shoulder as she climbed over him to get out of the bed. 
“I suppose I am.” He chuckled, completely oblivious to the fact that this entire situation would seem strange to anybody that looked at it.
He had just spent a night with a complete stranger. Both were sober and nothing happened. That is something out of the norm.
“Are you returning home today?” The girl asked him, preparing them both a cup of tea, not bothering to ask Genji if he wanted one.
She knew he did.
“I will be.” Genji sighed, nervous about how his brother will react. 
“It’ll be okay, Genji. Hanzo loves you.” Came Y/N’s voice, earning a simple nod from Genji. 
The two sat and drank their tea in light chatter, Y/N helping him plan what to say to Hanzo while he did his best to dig up more of her past, desperate to prove to Hanzo that she was no threat, but she revealed nothing. Nothing that could be used anyway.
It wasn’t long before Genji left, bidding Y/N and goodbye and thanking her for allowing him to stay the night, leaving her alone and left to gather her thoughts about what had happened.
She had gained Genji’s trust, the main part of the mission, but not Hanzo’s. She needed both the brothers, but she was genuinely enjoying Genji’s company. That can’t be good. She knew she shouldn’t allow herself to become attached to the people she is being paid to spy onto her, but there was something about the Shimada brothers. She wanted to protect them. 
*
The stars shone brightly in the sky as Y/N wandered around the streets, just as she had done the previous day. She was alone now, exploring for the sake of exploring. She wanted to know the area better, unaware of how long she could be staying so she assumed that it would be for the best.
Everywhere was closed, the streets quiet besides the occasional car passing by, headlights blinding her for a moment before they sped past, leaving her able to see again. The weather was clear today, the sky also clear, with no wind or rain meaning that it was simply a quiet and warm night. The spy was enjoying the work, happy to be in silence. Or at least she was, that was until she heard a commotion down an alleyway ahead of her. 
Now usually, she wouldn’t get involved in other people drama. She was going to stick to that until she heard Hanzo’s name mentioned.
“Hanzo Shimada.” A man spat the name as though it was venom, that was what caught her attention as she peeked around the corner. 
“I do not know what you wish from me, but I assure you this will not be dealt with lightly.” 
There stood Hanzo, backed against a wall while surrounded by a large group of me. Hanzo appeared unarmed, but so did the men, besides one. But, Y/N knew that she could easily take him down, having taken down far bigger targets in the past.
“Nobody will hear anything from a corpse.” Another man chuckled; his face covered by a mask much like the others.
Y/N knew she had to act fast if she wanted to save the Shimada, especially due to the fact that there was now a gun pointed towards him.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Y/N’s calm voice came from the end of the alleyway as she slowly walked down it, eyes cast onto the ground, her whole demeanour threatening. She appeared calm, despite the gun now being aimed towards her.
“Why is that pretty lady?” The gun-wielding man asked her, smirking at her as if he had the upper hand by being armed.
He didn’t.
Y/N raised her hand, grasping his wrist tightly, applying an immense amount of pressure that gave his body no choice but to drop the weapon out of reflex. She quickly kicked the gun behind her, letting go of his wrist to reach into her pocket and whip out her own gun: an L9A1. She found it comical how quickly their faces dropped, their attention now directed primarily on her, not on Hanzo. However, Hanzo’s attention was also on her, extremely confused.
“Because I’m an assassin for a large worldwide clan that can have you and your little group killed and disposed of within minutes. I’m sure nobody would notice.” She gave them an innocent smile, eyes batting with such sweetness that you would be unable to tell the fact that she had just threatened to have them all murdered seconds ago.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realise he was-“ They tried to defend themselves, only to be cut off by her once again.
“He’s under our protection.” 
The whole thing was a lie, but she was incredibly talented at lying that she had them all fooled, well all except one.
Hanzo.
She watched as the group of men fled the scene, leaving the gun behind which Y/N gladly picked up, unloading it before tossing it to Hanzo.
“New weapon.” She winked, watching him blush once again.
“Thank you.” Hanzo’s voice broke the silence they had fallen into. “Seriously, I don’t think I would have made it out without you I came for a walk unarmed and was cornered.” 
“Don’t mention it.” Y/N shrugged casually, as though she had just helped someone with their homework, not just saved their life. 
“How can I repay you?” He asked her, assuming she wanted something in return.
“No need. Anyone under Genji’s protection is under mine too.” The words that left her mouth were filled with such genuine kindness that he found it almost impossible not to smile; he didn’t though, instead he simply nodded.
“Thank you.”
And that was the start of a friendship between Hanzo Shimada and Y/N Y/S/N. There are some things that you can’t experience without becoming friends and saving the other from being murdered by a gang is one of them.
*
By the end of that night, Y/N knew what had happened.
Despite having known them for less than two days, Y/N had become attached to the Shimada brothers and was no longer capable of completing the mission. Logically, she should hand it over to somebody else, but she didn’t wish to put them in danger. She knew that, in order to protect them, she would have to sacrifice her job and that was something she was willing to do. She had ruined many people’s lives, and she hoped that this would make up for it. 
*
The following weeks were spent with the Shimada brothers while passing on fake information to her contractor. Genji and her became fast friends, spending their time together playing games, one of Y/N’s few hobbies. She had also met Hana, another video game fanatic and the two got along well too. 
Hanzo? Well, he watched his brother and new friend interact on a daily basis, favouring to simply sit and enjoy their company with the occasional conversation instead of playing games. However, Y/N and Hanzo would spend time together, usually sharing general chat over a cup of their famous tea. The two would talk about anything and everything. They were slowly opening up to each other, however, Y/N was careful about what she would share, not wishing to expose herself as a spy, despite no longer doing what the contractor had asked of her. 
That leads me to where we are now, sat in Y/N’s hotel room, enjoying a cup of tea. The two were sat beside each other, cup of tea in hand as they enjoyed the company, both just sipping their tea, not wishing to disturb the silence. But there was something playing on Hanzo’s mind. 
“Y/N?” Hanzo’s voice came out unsure, he didn’t know whether she would mind him breaking the silence. 
“Yes, Hanzo?” Her eyes glanced up to Hanzo’s, such innocence filling them that he couldn’t prevent the blush covering his cheeks as he thought of… some things. 
He cleared his throat, along with his mind, “If you could, would you be interested in joining Overwatch?” He asked her, genuine curiosity in his question.
This caught her attention, knowing of his affiliation with the Overwatch group. 
“Well, yeah. I suppose I would. What they do is good, and I’d like to help the best I could.” She was careful with her response, doing her best to sound as nonchalant as possible, acting as though she thought it was just another random Hanzo question.
Hanzo himself gave a short nod before continuing to sip his tea.
*
The conversation lingered on Y/N’s mind for the next week. She wondered what he was gaining by asking her that question. Had he figured out her identity maybe? Or was it just a question? She was anxious to find out, but that day soon came. The day she received the invite to Overwatch. 
Her eyes were wide as she read the letter which stated she had been selected to join Overwatch. That was when she realised the reasoning for Hanzo’s question.
He had requested that she join.
Her eyes widened even more at this realisation, a blush covering her cheeks at the thought. She knew she had too. Not only would it look good to her contractor, but she would also be doing good for the world. 
“Y/N?” A knock came from her door followed by the voice that could only belong to Hanzo. 
She quickly rushed to the door, forgetting the blush on her cheeks as she swung it open.
“Was this you?” She asked him immediately, holding out the letter to him.
His eyes widened, assuming that she was angry. 
“I-I… Yes.” He stuttered, afraid that he had upset her and that she wouldn’t want to talk to her anymore. 
Instead of yelling at him or slapping him like he expected from her tone, she simply lifted herself up onto her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug.
Hanzo’s body went rigid at the contact, cheeks lighting up red yet again, feeling as though his heart could escape his chest any moment. What seemed like forever was only a mere second before he realised, he should probably return the hug.
“Thank you, Hanzo.” Her voice came out gentle, her eyes filled with tears for some reason he didn’t know yet he felt his heart warm at her kind words, pupils involuntarily dilating as he pulled away to look at her.
“Why are you crying?” He asked softly, raising his hand to wipe away her tears with his thumb, both blushing at the contact. 
“Nobody has ever been this kind to me. Never believed in me.” She admitted.
And it was the truth. 
Y/N had been brought up as a spy; that was her destiny. She was brought up training every single day, for hours a day. No matter her potential, she was never believed in. She was just bunched up with everyone else.
Hanzo’s usually cold eyes softened, thumb continuing to wipe her tears.
He didn’t want to see her cry…
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I shouldn’t be showing this part of me.” She chuckled sadly, smiling slightly as Hanzo quickly shook his head.
“You don’t have to be afraid to show your emotions around me.” 
*
It was when she was in front of their commander that she realised her mistake.
She had let her guard down.
“So, you’re the spy?” Jack Morrison spoke, voice stable and monotone.
“Yes.” She admitted, not wishing to hide anything, she needs to protect them.
“Then why are you here? To infiltrate our base?” 
Overwatch had been informed of a spy looking to join them and Y/N had just arrived when they received the news. Only the commander knew about this, hence why he quickly accepted the girl that Hanzo had recommended. 
“No, sir.” She said quietly, looking up at him despite having her hands bound behind her back. “I want to protect the Shimada brothers. I was sent here to investigate them but now I wish to protect them.” 
Jack could see that she was telling the truth. He too was good at reading people.
“Why?” He asked simply, wanting to know her reasoning behind this.
“I like them.” Came her simple yet truthful response.
Jack nodded, “I see.” 
“You believe me.” Y/N could read him like a book, just like he could read her, “So let’s work together.” 
“I suppose that can be arranged.”
*
Y/N became quick friends with the entire Overwatch team.
She had already met Hana through Genji and their friendship remained. The three of them would often play games together, often spending the entire night together until they fell asleep in whoever’s room they were playing in that night.
Hanzo and Y/N however, their friendship was different. 
Everyone could see the look in their eyes, the way each of their gazes lingered on each other for a second too long and how they would often glance towards the other. Well, everyone but them that is. It was actually quite frustrating to those around them to see the two pining after each other, neither of them realising the others' feelings. 
It was another meeting in the Overwatch base, they were organising a new mission and each person was being given their job. 
Hanzo was assigned to be a sniper, and Y/N a spy.
She would be infiltrating the Talon base, and nobody, not even the commander, knew how long she would be gone.
Since she had joined the team, all her ties had been cut with whoever her contractor was, and she was under Overwatch’s protection. Sending her on this mission could essentially be a death wish for her if the contractor knew where she was, she knew this, the commander knew this, but she agreed anyway. She knew she had to do it; it was for the greater good, even if she died. 
“So, I guess this is it for now,” Genji said sadly, standing in front of Y/N as she prepared to go infiltrate Talon. 
She would be pretending to be a hostage who had insider information on Overwatch and their next mission. Of course, everything was false, but they wouldn’t know that. At least, not until it was too late. 
“I guess it is.” Y/N’s voice was as sad as Genji’s as the two shared one final hug. 
“Y/N,” Hanzo’s voice came as Genji left. 
He now stood in front of her, a small smile on his lips.
“Hanzo.” She smiled; both their pupils now dilated.
A sign of attraction.
“Be careful.” 
Those two words held so much meaning.
He didn’t want her to be hurt. 
No, he needed her to not be hurt.
But she knew this might not be the case. But she would not, could not, tell him this.
“You too, Hanzo.” She nodded, reaching up to pull him into a tight hug; once that neither wanted to let go. 
“See you around.” She smiled. 
“I hope you do.” 
*
“So, you have insider information on Overwatch?” Came Reapers deep voice, his mask staring directly at her, but she did not falter. 
“Yes, sir.” She said, just as she had said to Commander Morrison mere months ago. 
“What would that information be?” 
“I know about their next mission; a plan to attack your base.”
“Is that so, Y/N?”
Well, fuck.
Y/N knew that he knew her affiliation with Overwatch by that one word: her name.
She had given them a fake name, one that she had never been associated with, and he knew her real name.
“Yeah, I know who you are. In fact, I was the one who hired you and I don’t appreciate being ignored.” Before she knew it there was a knife at her throat, applying such a pressure that it slightly broke the skin. “Luckily for you, I took a liking to you. If I didn’t, you’d be dead right now.” He spat, pulling the knife away from her. 
“Is that so?” She smiled, looking up at him in a flirtatious manner, knowing she has to do this to survive.
He would surely kill her if she didn’t submit to him.
“Yes, it is. I admire your skills and think you would make an excellent addition to Talon. If you cut all ties with Overwatch which I am sure you will, especially when you take into account that we will kill those brothers you have been trying so desperately to protect.”��
“Yes, sir.” Came her quiet response.
She knew that, in order to protect them, she had to do what he asked. They wouldn’t ask her to spy on Overwatch, that would risk losing her. So, they had to have other plans for her, but she didn’t know what and she doesn’t like not knowing.
*
It had been a long few weeks for her, but Y/N had made it. 
She had passed her training flawlessly. However, nobody at Talon trusted her yet, but she was completely fine with that: it is not like she liked them anyway.
Each day she would be put through intense training, practicing everything from her shooting to her parkour, something she was already exceptionally good at from her years as a spy. But each day she would miss her friends more and more, especially Hanzo and Genji. 
The day was going by as normal as ever. Y/N currently practicing her aim with the infamous purple-skinned sniper, the two were stood in silence when the alarm sounded. 
The entire room shook at the loud noise, the power going out so the only light in the room being that of the red alarm screeching in the corner.
Within seconds, Widow had her gun drawn, grasping Y/N around the neck, gun to her head.
“Come with me.” Came her poisonous words as she dragged Y/N away. 
Talon had been preparing for this moment since Y/N’s arrival seven weeks ago. 
They knew that Overwatch would try and save her upon finding out that they knew who she was. In fact, Talon knew that they now knew who had ordered her ‘services’ and the leaders knew that they would come for her; that the Shimada’s would come for her. 
They would use her as bait and the brothers would fall into their trap.
*
“Where do you think she is?” Genji’s voice was hard to hear over the screaming alarm, but Hanzo heard it. 
“I have no idea.” He admitted sadly, bow in hand as they roamed the corridors of the Talon base, desperately looking for their dear friend. 
They had all been informed of Y/N’s reasoning for coming to Hanamura in the first place. But, at this point, all they wanted was their friend to be safe. No matter what she had done, they knew where her loyalties lie. 
With them.
The corridors were dark, walls black along with the floor making it hard to see, their only light being that of the siren that was deafening them with each beep. They were desperate to find Y/N and get out of there. There were twenty agents looking for her, Genji and Hanzo included who were the most desperate to find her. They were supposed to stay back at base, but they refused; they love her and wish to help her. 
It didn’t take long for them to find her. Actually, for Talon to find them.
“Ah, the Shimada’s, the true star of the show.”
Both brothers came to a halt, seeing their friend stood in front of them, Reaper behind her holding a gun to her head. 
No matter the liking he took to her, he had to do what was best for Talon.
“Let. Her. Go.” Hanzo spat, an arrow immediately placed into his bow.
Reaper simply chuckled at the man’s anger.
“Has unemotional Hanzo Shimada fallen in love with the spy that was sent to help us kill you?” Reaper taunted, enjoying the way Hanzo’s grip tightened, knuckles turning white. 
“I don’t care about her past. She’s my friend and she’s under our protection.” He said, using the very words that Y/N used the night that she saved him. 
“How sweet.” He continued to taunt, laughing manically as Hanzo’s face was fiery with anger, such intense emotion that nobody had ever seen on the archer. 
He must really love her, Genji thought. 
Neither the brothers nor Reaper had noticed the rest of the Overwatch agents behind them. They had heard the commotion over the comms and were quick to find them. 
“Let her go, Gabriel,” Jack said, catching the attention of the man that has his agent held hostage. 
“What if I just…” A bang then a scream, “Oops.” And with that Gabriel disappeared into thin air, completely dropping Y/N.
Hanzo was the first to run towards her, noticing the sticky blood that covered his hand as he picked her up, his eyes widening in panic.
“Get Angela!” He yelled, panic filling his body as Genji darted towards him, followed by the others.
“Y-Y/N!” Genji screamed, doing the best he could to apply pressure to the wound. “You’re going to be okay.” His hands shook as he spoke, hating the feel of the literal blood on his hands. 
Y/N chuckled, “I’m okay.” Her voice was hoarse, everyone could almost hear the pain she was in just from those two words. “Don’t worry about me.” Her eyes were closing.
“Hey. Hey! Don’t close your eyes.” Hanzo lowered her onto the ground to help Genji apply better pressure.
“Just… five minutes.” 
Her eyes shut.
*
Hanzo was pacing outside the medical bay, anxiety filling his body.
He wasn’t allowed to be in there while they helped her, saying that his constant questions would be distracting and overall, just unhelpful.
“Hanzo, relax. She’ll be fine.” Lena did her best to comfort him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder in a vain attempt to calm him.
It obviously did not work.
It felt like decades to everyone until Y/N was finally in a stable condition. 
They had managed to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding from the wound. 
Hanzo was the first in, being there the second they allowed him shortly followed by Genji. 
Hanzo sat beside the patient, hand in her own cold and pale one as he sat back in the uncomfortable chair he was provided; not that he cared about comfort at this precise moment in time. At the opposite side sit Genji, deep in thought as his hands lay beneath his chin. 
The two sat there for hours on end, neither moving. They refused to leave for too long in case she awoke, taken turns to use the restroom. Other Overwatch members brought them food, knowing that, if they didn’t, they wouldn’t eat. 
It wasn’t until it was nearing the night-time that Hanzo felt something, a pressure and it was coming from his hand. Eyes wide, he immediately shot up.
“Y/N?” He rushed out, desperate for her to reply.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were excited to see me.” Y/N croaked out jokingly, once again squeezing his hand. 
“Of course I’m glad to see you.” He whispered, thumb running across her hand much like he had done with her tears when she received the Overwatch invitation. 
“He isn’t joking. He didn’t stop pacing around outside until he was allowed in.” Genji’s joke followed Y/N’s own, making her chuckle despite her throat being dry.
“Have you got any water?” She asked quietly at which Hanzo immediately jumped up, grabbing a cup of water for her.
“Here,” Came his soft response as he helped her drink the water, worried that she might hurt herself by doing so herself. 
“Thank you,” Her voice sounded clearer now after drinking.
Hanzo gave her a small nod, heart racing as it fully sunk in that she was finally awake.
She’s safe.
“Do you remember what happened?” Genji asked her cautiously, doing his best to ignore the glare he was getting from Hanzo.
“Yeah, I remember everything.” 
“Let’s not talk about that.” Hanzo interrupted the two, for both Y/N and himself.
Neither of them wished to relive the situation.
“How do you feel?” Genji asked, changing the subject, but not too much.
“Like I slept for too long. My head hurts.” She smiled slightly, reaching up to rub her head.
“I’ll get Angela to bring you something for the pain.” Genji said, lifting himself onto his feet, “I’m glad you're awake.” 
“Me too.” She grinned.
Even after all this, she’s still herself, Hanzo smiled to himself, glad that she could finally be herself around him. No secrets, no lies. 
It was only once the door closed that Hanzo spoke two simple words, “I’m sorry.”
This left the former spy confused, “Why?” She asked him, facial expression saying everything. “It’s not your fault. In fact, it’s my own, Hanzo. I was the one who chose to go there; I put myself in that situation.”
“Don’t do that.” Hanzo scolded her like a mother would do to her child, “Don’t blame yourself.”
“Then, don’t you blame yourself either.” She whispered, raising her hand to cup Hanzo’s face to bring his face closer to his own, close enough that they could feel the other's breath on their lips.
“I love you, Hanzo.” She admitted, eyes darting down to the hospital bed she was currently seated in.
“I love you too, Y/N.” Hanzo smiled, moving his face to place a gentle kiss on her forehead, not wanting to risk putting her in pain by kissing her lips.
*
It had been a tough month, but Y/N was finally discharged from the med bay as long as she didn’t do any strenuous activity. Hanzo had been there every step of the way, as had Genji. The two Shimada’s were there through everything, especially Hanzo. He never left her side, even now.
His hand was holding her own as the two walked through the Overwatch base, heading towards the cafeteria to get food, or so Y/N thought. 
Hanzo, however, knew that there was going to be a welcome home party thrown by the others to make sure they knew that they didn’t mind her being a spy as well as congratulate her for getting through her treatment. 
As they entered the cafeteria, Y/N noticed the sign that read ‘Welcome back, Y/N!” in bright Y/F/C handwriting that she recognised as Hana’s.
“Welcome back, Y/N.” Lena grinned from behind a table which held a cake reading the same as the banner. 
“Awe guys,” Y/N smiled, blushing slightly, “you shouldn’t have.” She smiled gratefully; hand still enveloped in Hanzo’s who gave her a reassuring squeeze.
“And look at you two!” Hana cheered, being the first to notice the pairs' hands intertwined. “What a power couple.” She winked at the two, both blushing with Y/N blushing even more than before. 
Music began to play as people gathered around, sitting on a bench as they all cheered and began talking while Hana poured drinks for each of the agents who were all smiling happily, glad that Y/N was safe. 
After all the drinks were poured and everyone was seated, Hana raised her glass.
“To Y/N and Hanzo, the power couple!” She cheered.
“To Hanzo and Y/N!"
150 notes · View notes
empty-dream · 3 years ago
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So I read 86 LN vol 1
S1 anime covers the entire Vol 1 except for the latter's epilogue, so full anime spoiler here.
And as of this writing, I'm still on Vol 2 so the things I mention here are solely those that happen in Vol 1. Idk if a thing happens in the latter volume, gotta dodge spoiler so I don't browse about it.
There was an interview with a person inside the anime industry that basically said "The point of an anime adaptation is not to be an exact replica of the original material, but to shine as its own medium for a story." I forgot who it was and I can't find the interview anywhere for the life of me, but that statement opened my eyes. I agree with it, that's why I can appreciate the differences between LN/manga and anime, especially if they turn out good and/or interesting.
And that's exactly what happens in 86. I'll start with this: I watched the anime first, and after I read the Vol1 novel, I actually like the anime more. Because there are a lot of meaningful original scenes in it
And because the Vol1 novel turns out exactly what I fear when I first watched the anime: that I won't care much about the squadron aside from the main 5. (Look, the anime promotional materials mostly only have Lena and those 5 only. As shocked as I was in the anime, I did have an idea where the story would go from those alone). The rest are barely mentioned. Not even the girls are named in the novel, even though they do talk and Lecca is even prominent in anime.
For example, the second half of the first episode, the one that shows Spearhead squadron's daily life right before Lena contacts them, is anime original scenes. Kujo already dies the moment the novel starts focusing on the squadron. Simply put, a lot of the squadron members that aren't the main 5 or Kaie get a *lot* more focus in the anime, like Daiya, Haruto (For characters who appear on the introduction page, their novel screen time is less than I'd expect), Kujo and Lecca. While the other members often appear in the background and actually behave like equal members instead of glue-them-on figurines.
(Idk if those other members are named and/or designed in the light novel before the anime is a thing or when the anime becomes a thing.)
The anime also adds relevant information in the Raiden's talk with Lena in EP7, like Kaie receiving racial abuse from 86 (in fact in both versions, she is the first one to get highlighted about this) and Haruto also having prominent Giadian Empire blood like Anju and Shin. These weren't in the novel.
I might be just nitpicking here because I love Kaie and Haruto, but see, this scene is amazing on its own. This is where Raiden and the squad reveal the weight of their motivation all along, that they *each* have different backgrounds and different kinds of sufferings, yet they are all sentenced to die, and they all choose to fight because they know no side is saintly but some things are still worth fighting for.
The prominent characters' deaths (besides Kaie's) are often mentioned with only one or two dry lines. I expected at least Daiya's to be detailed more, but it's just that so matter-of-fact-ly. Well I came from the anime, so I guess it's normal if I expected something as heartbreaking.
I broke down HARD at the last half of EP10 and that is nowhere in the Vol 1 novel. (Having Hands Up to the Sky playing in the background is also an advantage for being an anime. Fuck that song, I now play it 24/7 in despair)
Having a lot of original anime scenes really complement the story's nature. That there are two different sides of life here, it's not just Lena's or 86's only. And those couldn't have intertwined if not for their willingness to listen and communicate.
I know I mentioned this some days ago but really, I can't get over how many of the merch are Lena (and Annette) being cute doing cute stuff while the story itself is actually depressing. Merch staffs know the market lol.
- Novel side -
That said, the novel does have an advantage that the anime/visual media doesn't: Internal explorations and explanations.
It's obvious from the get-go, but Asato confirms that the inspiration of Republic of San Magnolia and its racial discrimination and genocide is taken from Nazi Germany in WW2. The Republic who favors the white/silver haired-eyed Alba drives Colorata out of the 85 sectors, overtakes their properties, and forcibly sends the now-called-86 to either fight their war and die, or work on the wall and die.
The life inside the Republic is also elaborated on. Class always exists, even inside one race only. The center of the republic is for the elites, Lena and Annette's families included. The farther a sector is from the center, the lower the education and economy there is. Most of the military come from these areas, which explains why Lena herself is in difficult situation. Since no one in the military is either capable or willing to bring change.
It's *insane* how easily the Republic could create such vile lies, and how easily the majority of the citizens go along with it.
Gotta admit, Asato does a good job at foreshadowing the fate of the 86, the truth that we can only see after Ep7 of anime. It is mentioned that supposedly, 86 soldiers will be welcomed back once their 5-years term is up. Lena once wonders about it, but ultimately she buys it thinking that surely they must have come back to another sector. She only realizes it's utter bullshit after Annette points out how, 9 years later, they have never seen even one Colorata inside the Republic when they should have seen at least some. This also shows that Lena has never ventured to the other sectors to find out more, probably due to work or maybe she's still a sheltered noblewoman in the end.
And the mentality of the majority of Alba is shown differently. Whereas the anime uses the academy classroom to show how deeply rooted the racism against 86 is, the novel uses Lena's mother who a) more or less does the same as the classroom, and b) presses Lena to get married and preserve their pure noble bloodline. This, when the nobility doesn't actually mean anything anymore. This version shows not only Alba's racism but also Lena's strained family life.
There is a scene of an Alba high school valedictorian who, during his graduating speech, says “My friends died fighting the Legion.” I’m not sure this will make it to the anime, and it’s just a minor scene in the novel, but the weight of that scene is heavy.
The science of Para-Raid is explained, which has something to do with tapping the collective consciousness of humanity and connecting it to one another. A bit far-etched but I guess that works, science fiction and all. But I like the part where despite (or maybe because?) of connecting via hearing only, the other senses are faintly receptive as well. For example, one can sense that the other side is biting their lips in frustration, something like that. Of course, actual real life things like sensing the hidden bitterness or elation in a talking partner's words are present, this being a story where listening matters.
The novel elaborates on Raiden's stay with the Alba old woman. He calls her Old Hag, but it's clear he greatly respects her. The part where she screams and curses in the middle of the road at the Republic soldiers who take Raiden and the other children away stays in Raiden's mind forever, and so it does to me. Ngl it is quite a chilling scene.
Same with the story of the previous Laughing Fox, Theo's Alba commander. It turns out, the entirety of Theo's first squadron didn't like him at all and bet on how fast he'd tuck tail and run back to the Republic. When he faced his death the way Theo explained, he sent a message to Theo revealing he knew about it and knew his place to not ask for acknowledgment or forgiveness. This made Theo regret why he didn't try to talk more with his commander and he keeps thinking about it forever. Now it makes even more sense why Theo, blunt as he is, is willing to listen to Lena and when he snaps, he wonders if his late commander would do the same.
What actually happens in Kurena's backstory is also touched upon. While in the anime some viewers could think "Man, I get where you're coming from but chill out." The novel graphically shows her parents being toyed on by the Alba soldiers while her sister protected her, the two could only watch, and then the same sister got sent to the battlefield to die. Now at that, anyone would think "Man, no wonder she can't chill out. Not with all that trauma."
I also like the addition that Lena can sense Kurena is the one who dislikes her the most.
The novel describes greatly that it isn't just Alba and Non-Alba. Essentially speaking, Non-Alba is called Colorata, and they consist of different race groups as well. Just as Alba is associated with the color silver/white, the other race have their associated colors as well. Asato assigns races to the named members in Vol1 and what their distinguished color features are. This also explains why Anju is exiled despite looking like an Alba.
It's a question that I pondered on when I first saw Shin's armor plates, and that I pondered harder on when Chise died: What happens if there is no armor plate to carve its processor's name's on? So it turns out Shin would substitute it with anything; piece of wood or some random piece of metal. For Chise's case, Raiden, Chise's leader, suggested using the wing of Chise's in-progress airplane model. Which did my heart so bad because I'm strangely fond of Chise and finding out that in his spare time in his limited lifespan, he was working on an airplane model made me sob.
I'm not particularly into mecha, and could care less about how it moves. But Asato did a good job describing the fight between a glorified suicide car and a line of brand-new solid A-grade tanks. Special mention to I-IV because wow the concept arts for all the mechas are so cool, even though I don't really understand. (Asato even said to I-IV "Go draw a tank so horrible it's stupid for the Juggernaut" and I-IV came up with the current Juggernaut)
You know how the Republic greeting is "Glory to San Magnolia and the five-colored flag"? I won't disclose who says this in what situation, but there is someone of Colorata saying "If you hate colors so much, you should have just colored your flag white" AND OOOH THE BURN SO HOT HOT HOT
Tl;dr: Bottom line is, I personally enjoy Vol 1 because I already watched the anime and got attached to it. If I were to read the vol 1 first, most likely I wouldn't fall this hard for the series. Hell, maybe I wouldn't even pick it up in the first place because I knew it'd be depressing. But this is not to say that the LN is bad. It’s very good, it just does not really touch the lives of other soldiers whereas that’s the very thing that I love from the anime.
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